>>ALL RIGHT GENTLEMEN, I NEED NOT REMIND YOU THAT
WE HAVE A LOT RIDING ON THIS.
IF THE UNICORNS DECIDE THAT WE ARE HOSTILE THEY
WILL GORE US IN THE FACE.
AND MY CHARACTER DOES NOT HAVE ENOUGH HIT POINTS TO WITHSTAND
ANOTHER FACE GORING.
>>OKAY, ADAM, JUST TO CLARIFY,
WHAT EXACTLY DO WE KNOW ABOUT UNICORNS?
>>THEY'RE POWERFULLY MAGICAL CREATURES,
EXTREMELY CAUTIOUS, AND--
>>CAN SENSE EVIL?
[GASPING]
>>IT'S CARLY.
>>UH, YOU MEAN SHE-WHO-MUST-NOT-BE-NAMED?
>>I THOUGHT WE SETTLED ON DEVIL-WOMAN?
>>I CAN HEAR YOU GUYS.
>>I TOLD YOU THE ACOUSTICS IN HERE WERE PHENOMENAL.
>>WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE YOU FOUL TEMPTRESS?
YOUR ACTIONS HAVE SCARRED US FOR LIFE!
>>OH, THAT SEEMS LIKE AN EXAGGERATION.
>>HUH, WHY DON'T YOU ASK THE GUILD OF ADVENTURERS?
>>HUZZAH MAGIC POWERS AND NEVER TRUST WOMEN!
>>WELL, I'M AFRAID EVEN IF YOU CAN'T TRUST
ME YOU STILL NEED ME.
>>NO I DON'T!
I MEAN, WE COLLECTIVELY DON'T NEED--
CAN SOMEONE ELSE TALK NOW PLEASE?
>>BUT YOU DO NEED ME.
ONLY A WARRIOR MAIDEN CAN RIDE A UNICORN.
>>HA!
WE ARE WELL AWARE OF THAT WHICH IS WHY MATT'S CHARACTER IS
SECRETLY DISGUISED AS A WOMAN.
>>WELL, WE ALL HAVE TO MAKE SACRIFICES.
>>YOU VOLUNTEERED.
>>CARLY?
CARLY ARE YOU DOWN HERE?
>>I HOPE YOU DON'T MIND.
I INVITED A FRIEND.
>>WHAT?
ANOTHER GIRL?
I CANNOT ABIDE BY THIS-- SWEET ELFISH CHAINMAIL.
MILADY PLEASE BE SEATED.
>>I'LL FIND YOU A CHAIR.
HERE'S ONE.
>>THANK YOU.
I HEARD YOU BOYS ARE TRYING TO CAPTURE A UNICORN,
BUT YOU'RE ALL SO CUTE.
HAVE YOU JUST TRIED SMILING AT IT?
>>[NERVOUS LAUGHTER]
>>GUYS,
PLEASE DON'T DO THIS AGAIN.
>>SILENCE ADAM!
>>NO, YOU SILENCE ADAM!
THESE WOMEN ARE MANIPULATING YOU AGAIN!
WHAT HAPPENED TO THE TWO OF YOU?
IT USED TO BE BROS BEFORE BARMAIDS!
>>OH, WAKE UP ADAM THERE COMES A TIME IN EVERY MAN'S LIFE WHEN
HE WANTS TO SHARE DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS WITH SOMEONE
SPECIAL WHO ISN'T JASON.
>>OFFENSE TAKEN!
>>YEAH, BUT SHE IS A LIAR AND SHE IS WELL,
I DON'T KNOW HER, BUT I DON'T TRUST AN ATTRACTIVE
WOMAN WHO IS INTO JASON.
>>THANK YOU.
>>MORE OFFENSE TAKEN!
>>OH, SHE'S THE LIAR?
WHY DON'T YOU TELL US MORE ABOUT YOUR GIRLFRIEND
WHO LIVES IN CANADA?
>>WELL I CAN TELL YOU THAT SHE'S REAL.
>>SHE'S NOT.
>>I KNEW I COULDN'T TRUST YOU.
>>YOU GUYS, WHY DON'T WE JUST PUT THE PAST BEHIND US
AND TRY TO WORK AS A TEAM?
>>NO.
THERE IS NO WAY I'M GOING TO BE THE DUNGEON MASTER
IF THE TWO OF YOU ARE--
>>CARLY?
SORRY I'M LATE.
>>LET'S DO THIS.
>>WHERE SHOULD I SIT?
>>OH, THIS SEAT IS AVAILABLE!
>>OH!
OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT, I'LL JUST STAND OR SQUAT.
I'LL SQUAT.
RIGHT HERE.
>>THIS IS NICE.
I'VE NEVER BEEN IN A ROOM WITH AN EQUAL GENDER RATIO BEFORE.
SO, I'M GOING TO CHASE THAT FEELING.
>>CAN WE PROCEED PLEASE?
MY CHARACTER IS CURRENTLY STANDING NEXT TO
SEVERAL UNICORNS WHILST DRESSED AS A WOMAN.
SO, THE STAKES HAVE NEVER BEEN HIGHER.
>>OH, WHAT DO YOU PLAN TO DO ONCE YOU'VE CAPTURED THEM?
>>WE PLAN ON SELLING THE HORN TO A DARK WIZARD
FOR UNTOLD FORTUNES.
>>INTERESTING.
>>INDEED.
>>THE DARK WIZARD WHO LIVES ON THE EDGE OF THE FOREST?
>>YES, WHY DO I FEEL FOREBODING?
>>LADIES?
>>I BIND MATT AND JASON WITH A SPELL.
>>A SPELL OF LOVE YOU MEAN?
WAIT WHAT?
>>ALL THE UNICORNS FLEE EXCEPT FOR ONE.
>>I BIND THE UNICORN WITH ANOTHER SPELL.
>>NO, I WAS GOING TO USE MY FEMININE WILES.
I SPENT A FORTUNE ON THAT CORSET.
>>AND I REMOVE THE UNICORN'S HORN.
>>WE EXIT THE FOREST AND SEEK OUT THE DARK WIZARD
TO COLLECT OUR REWARD.
HUZZAH AND SUSAN B. ANTHONY.
>>BEFORE YOU LEAVE, YOU NOTICE THE UNICORN STIRRING.
>>I DON'T CARE IF THE UNICORN--
>>SEAM AT THE TOP SPLITS OPEN
AND FROM IT EMERGES A MAN MERELY DRESSED AS A UNICORN.
>>WHAT MAN?
>>ME!
>>SCREAMING
>>MATT, YOU KNEW JEREMY WAS THERE!
>>I GOT CAUGHT UP IN THE DRAMA.
>>HA!
YOU ALL FELL FOR OUR CLEVER TRAP!
>>HUZZAH MAGIC POWERS AND ALWAYS GET REVENGE!
>>JEREMY, ATTACK!
>>I TAKE MY MIGHTY SWORD AND THROW IT AT THE BETRAYERS!
>>REVENGE IS SWEET!
HE ROLLED A ONE!
>>CRITICAL FAIL.
THE SWORD HITS A ROCK REBOUNDS AND IMPALES YOU!
>>OH MY HUBRIS!
>>HM, EVEN THOUGH YOUR PLAN FAILED HORRIBLY,
I'M STILL IMPRESSED BY YOUR CUNNING.
>>[GASP] JASON, IT'S HAPPENING AGAIN!
JUST LIKE I WROTE IN MY DREAM JOURNAL.
>>BIRD SOUNDS
>>YOU WON'T BE NEEDING THESE.
>>OH, LOVE IS TRULY BLIND.
>>PHYSICAL CONTACT.
>>BIRD SOUNDS
>>I'M IMPRESSED TOO.
>>OKAY.
>>BIRD SOUNDS
>>LUKE, I AM RINGTONE.
>>ADAM, YOU ARE KILLING THE MOMENT.
>>SORRY, IT'S MY MOM.
>>AND NOW IT'S DEAD.
>>WAIT, PLEASE DON'T GO GIRLS.
PLEASE.
>>SORRY BOYS.
WE'RE TREKKIES.
>>GASPING
>>KAAAAAAHN