- Ah. - What the heck?
Hey, I'm trying to study. Quit throwing stuff at me.
Hey! Hey! Schwoz! Schwoz get back here!
Give me that!
Would you guys keep it down? I'm sleep learning.
It's learning.
What are you talking about?
Learn to fight while you sleep...
and also Spanish.
Mm-hmm, it's a 100 hour audiobook
that teaches you to fight while you sleep.
Let's do this!
I--
Will you say something to him?!
Yeah, Jasper, buddy, will you please put on a shirt
that goes all the way down to your pants?
Why? We're in round two and this will show 'em
that we play to win.
No, all it's gonna show 'em is
that you've got a weird belly button.
- What's wrong with it? - Just--
Wow! I am so pumped that we have over 11 million people
watching this live stream right now to see the eruption
of the biggest pimple of all time.
I'm Jasper.
Ready?
One... two... three.
Oh! Don't!
[whining]
Why did you pop it? [whining]
80, nine point--
No, no, no, you're not supposed to--
Um-hmm.
- Jasper. - Oh, ah.
[groaning]
I'm so tired.
I gotta stop.
What? No, no, no, no, no. Come on, buddy. Come on, buddy.
He's almost done making the antivirus. Come on.
[groaning]
I can't.
Ah, my legs are... gravy soup and my arms are also gravy soup
and my brain is...
- Gravy soup? - That's right.
No, no, no, no, no!
[chattering]
[grunting]
Oh.
Beat her!
Points to Jasper.
Yes!
Oh, my signaling, it gives me strength.
You're signaling gives me the creeps.
Yeah.
Mmm. Ooh.
And because the New Hampshirian soldiers
were better equipped, the Vermont army
finally surrendered and fled the Coconut Plantations.
Coconuts in Vermont?
I drew a picture of me.
[ringing]
Oh, what's up, peoples?
- Oh, hey, Henry. - Hey, Henry.
Hey, are you doing anything after school?
Yep. I'm working on my black belt.
Your black belt?
I didn't know you were taking karate.
I'm not.
I'm taking a belt making class.
All I have left to do
is punch the holes and add the buckle.
Yeah.
Wow. You know, I bet Charlotte would love a new handmade belt.
And you'd lose that bet.
Well.
I'll totally make you a belt.
Ah, no, I have plenty of belts.
I just need to measure your waist.
Nuh-uh, I really want you--
- I got this. - No, seriously, it's fine.
- Boosh. - Stand still.
Okay. Let's see how big around you are.
Okay, no girl would like this.
Whoa! I don't think he's gonna stop!
[grunting]
[cheering]
What happened?
You stopped him.
- Wow! - Jasper, you're a hero.
Really?
Can I go next?
You can if you give me a dollar.
[exhaling]
[stammering] I really don't care.
[blowing]
Okay and here's your unitard for your dog.
Oh. Thank you so much.
I'm surprising him tonight.
Ah. Oh.
And please accept this free tube of Friddles.
A-And don't forget to go online and vote red on Tuesday.
I sure will. Thank you.
♪ Freeze! Freeze! Freeze! Now go! ♪
♪ Drop it fast And move it real slow ♪
♪ Oh, wha-a-t You smell so fruity ♪
♪ I'm a pirate Here my booty, argh ♪
Oh my God.
Are you rapping?
- Yeah - Well, don't.
Jasper, look!
What the--
Ah!
You're out!
Watch.
♪ I got my ticket For the long way round ♪
♪ To b-- w-- ♪
Dang it! [laughing]
I'll never be pitch perfect.
[laughing]
Okay, stop it.
Turn it off! Turn it off!
Where did you that wig?
You don't need to know!
Hit it.
[music playing]
♪ Just shake it ♪
♪ Like you're never gonna Break it ♪
[music playing]
♪ And shake it ♪
♪ It gets me every time ♪
[grunting]
Hey, sorry to bother you guys, but do you have any dog treats?
Why would we have dog treats?
And what are you doing with those dogs, anyway?
Oh, ah, my neighbors are paying me ten bucks
to walk 'em every day, but they seem hungry.
So, I was wondering if you--
[barking]
[screaming]
No, wait! No, no, no! Retreat! Retreat!
No! Bad! Bad dogs!
Bad dogs, so bad.
Hey, get 'em away from my food!
No, baby! I'm the alpha male!
Ooh, I'm so upset this is happening.
That is not okay!
John Paul! George Spot! Outside!
[barking]
Sorry!
[smacking]
So, how's that turkey?
Eh.
I've had better.
[smacking]
Oh, man, there's a fly on the cornbread.
Where's the fly swatter?
No worries, I got it.
[sucking]
What?
You just mouth vacuumed that fly and swallowed it whole.
That's disgusting.
Uh, sorry.
[grunting]
[buzzing]
["Boot Scootin' Boogie" playing]
Those boots are so hot right now.
You are absolutely right.
["Boot Scootin' Boogie" playing]
Ah, I stepped in some gum!
Welcome to Club Soda. [chattering]
Happy Valentine's Day. [chattering]
Welcome to--
Hey! Hey, hey, hey, hey! [chattering]
There's too much talking in the line!
Now, just have your IDs and tickets ready to show me.
Okay? I'm in charge!
Welcome to Club Soda.
Happy Valentine's Day.
Ay, what up, dog? Happy V-day. [giggling]
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, who-oa.
What?
You got to be at least 13 to get in.
Well, we're all 14.
Wrong. I know Piper, you're all nine.
Uh, I'm not Piper. My name is Judy Glickman.
This ID is fake, Judy.
Okay, are you gonna make this a thing?
Sorry, kid. Rules are rules.
You'd better not-- [cutting]
[groaning]
Come on, girls.
I'm still in charge!
[grunting]
- Dude, I got you! - No, you didn't!
- Yes, I did! - No, you missed!
I just got you right there!
I'm not guarding, you're guarding!
I got you both!
No, you didn't!
No, no, no! I'm guarding!
Stop! I'm guarding!
Stop guarding!
Stop guarding! Stop guarding!
Stop guarding!
Shh! Shh! Time out. Cease fire. Cease fire.
- What? Why? - We don't want to cease.
- We wanna fire! - Shh! Shh!
[speaking in foreign language]
[trumpet playing]
[trumpet playing and chattering]
[trumpet playing]
[speaking in foreign language]
Um, what?
- Is he-- - Save us Jasper!
[fighting]
What is happening?
[fighting]
He's fighting in his sleep.
Oh.
O-oh, he wasn't learning how to fight while he sleeps,
he was learning how to fight, while he sleeps.
[speaking in foreign language]
Oh, that makes so much more sense.
[fighting]
Get down to the Man Cave and get those crystals.
- On it! - Daddy Danger will help.
I'm Daddy Danger.
[fighting]
And this is important!
Only pull crystals from the right tube pack.
- Got it. - Doo doo doo doo.
Doo doo doo doo.
[fighting]