The following trailer is rated "H" for Honest.
You've explored ruins and discovered ancient treasure as Nathan Drake.
You've survived the horrors of the apocalypse as Joel and Ellie.
Now become the character that put Naughty Dog on the map.
a horrible furry in jorts whose arms are way too far up on his body.
In an era where every console needed a kid-friendly mascot
Discover Sony's answer to Mario and Sonic
as they dish up an extremely linear platformer with some cute characters and solid gameplay.
That would have been the sh** machined in 1995.
But was blown out of the water when Mario 64 came out two months earlier.
Making people who only owned a Playstation twist themselves into knots.
As they tried to argue that they're awkward barely 3D bandicoot game was better than an all-time classic
It could have been worse.
At least they didn't have to stand for Gex the Gecko.
Or God forbid, Bubsy.
Never... play....
Bubsy.
Surf your way to victory as the titular Crash Bandicoot.
A man-shaped animal with bizarre proportions,
And those knee length jeans you cray,
who slowly evolved from having a lucky beach bum.
To motorcycle driving badass.
To tribal tattoo douchebag,
that must stomp and spin his way through a legion of weaponize animals.
To save the world from the evil plans
of some mad scientist's with Wacky hair.
In the story that's either Megaman for furries
or the exact same plot for Sonic.
Experience the classic gameplay of the Bandicoot games.
As you bash your way through long hallway like levels.
In 2D.
Very limited 3D.
And why would you do this mode?
Where you run directly at the screen until you fall into a bit you couldn't see.
As you break all the crates in the world,
and collect apples, crystals and uhhh...
Ghost Shaman Masks?
For more chances to take on the awkward platforming and fixed camera angles.
In gameplay that seemed alright at the time,
but it's probably going to bum out some kids to play the remaster
Today Little Johnny Learned that classic doesn't always mean good.
Uncover the inexplicably massive catalog of Crash games.
From the initial Naughty Dog Trilogy of box filled corridors,
to the sequels from new developers that tried to copy the formula.
Open up the world.
Make it a beat-em-up.
Or some combination of the three.
But never quite found that magic formula to make people love this poor deformed Bandy man.
Then dive into the extensive list of side games.
Like the card racing titles that are way better than you would expect.
The party games that are just dressed up minigame collections.
The mobile games we feel obligated to mention.
And the mini crash game they just shoehorned into Skylanders for some reason.
Because there's nothing the children of today love more then failed mascots from the 90's.
So bash your way through some crash today.
And drop 40 bucks for some touched up games from 20 years ago.
That are probably way worse than you remember.
Or don't because you don't wanna give developers any crazy ideas about mascot platformers coming back.
They might even go make a new Bubsy.
Or a Knack 2 or something. Just kidding.
That would never happen.
Is this racist?
Okay, this is probably racist.
So if Crash exists in both the Uncharted universe and the Skylanders universe?
Does that mean there could be a crossover?
Because all I want is for Nathan Drake to hang out with Drobot and Tae Kwon Crow.
Is there a series that you have desperately been requesting and never got to see?
Do you think your series is superior?
Well here's your chance to prove it in our first ever
In the month of June fans will get to vote from 24 the most requested honest trailer games and each week,
we'll pick 6 games against each other,
Pick a winner and make an honest trailer about it
Then in July, we'll put the final four in a month-long poll and truly
see which series comes up on top.
To cast your vote, look up the hashtag #HGTVote on Twitter and Facebook.
Good luck and let's hope your game can survive the gauntlet.
Comment below on what you want me to read in my epic voice.