Hey there!
Adam Lodolce from sexyconfidence.com, where I help the 21st Century woman create a love
life that she absolutely freaking loves!
And in this video right now I'm going to be talking about why it is that a guy acts really,
really interested and then suddenly - POOF!
- disappears.
Now this is a common problem with women.
A man is pursuing you really hard, acts super interested, and then - literally as if he
just died - you never hear from him ever again!
Or just as bad, but not as dramatic, he starts to do the fade out.
You know the fade out.
And you've probably done it to guys yourself.
Except this time, it's happening to you.
Responses.
They get a little bit shorter in between.
He stops inviting you to meet up, and it starts happening less and less.
And then before you know it, it's just crickets.
What the [bleep]!
I just got faded out!
The fade out.
The [bleep] way to break up with someone in the 21st century.
Well, if this ever happened to you here are a few potential reasons why this happened.
Number one is he's dating for sport.
This means, essentially, he is dating because it's his hobby and he has very little interest
in pursuing anything more.
He doesn't really want a real relationships.
Now, I understand women are getting more and more frustrated with this and I think men
are doing this more and more as actually are women.
People are just getting married later.
So that means a lot of people, especially in their early even late 20's, are not really
dating with any serious intentions.
The best way to avoid this if you're looking for something a little bit more serious is
to get an idea of his dating history.
If he's under 26 and he's never had a relationship, it's likely that he's probably going to continue
doing this.
So make sure ... It doesn't mean that you need to stop seeing him.
It just means that you want to be very aware of his behavior and don't invest too much
in him before he starts investing in you.
Now I'll admit, my early 20's I was also one of these guys.
I was just dating.
I wasn't looking for anything serious.
So it doesn't mean that I was being manipulative or lying to anyone, I just wasn't interested
in anything serious.
And I can speak from experience on this that if you're getting the feeling that he's not
really interested in anything more and he starts to kind of create space any time that
you want to show more interest, then chances are it's not going to change.
Move on with your life so you can find a relationship that really works for you.
Number two is you were just incompatible.
Here's the reality of dating and finding love is the vast majority of the people you meet
you're probably not going to get along with.
And sometimes you'll meet someone that you really like but they're not interested in
you.
Here's the reality with 21st century dating.
The vast majority of people that you meet you won't get along with!
And you probably won't want a relationship with them.
And then sometimes you're going to meet someone that you really like but they may not want
something with you.
Incompatibility happens.
And sometimes when that happens, and he doesn't want to pursue anything more, sometimes he
just disappears.
And he does this, in many ways, because he doesn't want to face the music.
Right?
Or he doesn't feel like you've been dating long enough that it really warrants a straight
up break up.
So sometimes this just happens in life and in dating, and the worst thing you can do
is give up.
The best think you can do is take that time to heal and find yourself again and then get
back out there!
Because you know what?
You will find that person who does want to stick it out with you and who enjoys time
with you.
Number three: The relationship was founded on superficial reasons.
Focusing on short-term attributes will get you short-term relationships.
If you meet a guy and sparks are flying everywhere but you know nothing about him except the
fact that he's tall and handsome, I guarantee that it's going to be a short-term relationship
because you're focusing on short-term attributes.
Give it a little time for you guys to get to know each other.
Become friends first before it turns into this massive chemistry of you guys sleeping
together and finding this amazing relationship that will just very quickly fizzle away.
Be willing to create a little bit of space before it turns into that.
And number four, which is a little bit different than the other ones, is that he gave up on
you because you showed no interest in him.
Now, us guys, we just need a little bit of reassurance that you're into us.
For every 100 articles of dating advice for women out there telling you to play hard to
get there's maybe one article telling you to be authentic and open about the way that
you feel about a guy.
The sexy confidence way is very different.
Don't play hard to get.
Be hard to get because you have an amazing life to go live and you're not going to waste
all of your energy on a guy that you barely know.
But there's a caveat to this.
As a guy continues to invest his time, resources, energy into you, you have to reciprocate!
You need to be vulnerable and be willing to share with him that, look, he's an amazing
guy and you look forward to continuing to get to know him further.
Being able to open up and share those feelings with him as well is going to make you feel
so much more connected to one another, and it's going to be far less likely that he just
gives up and moves on with his life.
So I'd love to hear from you in the comments right there below.
Let me know if you've ever been ghosted on by a guy, and how it made you feel.
Well I'm doing something really special right now.
If you are subscribed and you like this video, and you leave a comment there below, I'm going
to be reading every single comment.
And the one that is the most insightful and that gives the most to this community, I'm
going to make sure I pin that up to the top for everyone to be able to see.
So go ahead and leave that comment below.
And of course subscribe, like ... And finally if you enjoyed this video and you enjoy the
YouTube videos, make sure you head on over to sexyconfidence.com.
I'll leave a link right up there where you can get a ton of amazing resources that are
going to help you understand the male mind, learn how to be a better dater and be more
authentic in your dating life, and how to find love that you truly deserve.
Thank you so much for watching.
And I'll speak to you next week.
Bye-bye.