This is very important, because… let me put it this way.
The very first conversational hypnotist I ever met was my father.
I didn’t know it at the time, and he still doesn’t know it, but every time I’d get
into some bigger trouble…
For example, about age three or four, my brother and I were playing on the balcony with little
dinosaurs or whatever and one slipped over and fell down 14 stories to the courtyard
below.
We looked at each other and thought, well that’s pretty cool so we did it again.
Long story short, by the time my father arrived half an hour later everything in the room
had gone over the balcony and when I say everything, I mean the mattress, the clothes, anything
that wasn’t too heavy for a four year old boy to lift went over the balcony.
My father wasn’t very happy about that, and I don’t know what your experience growing
up was but my father was a very patient man.
Instead of just losing his temper and shouting and locking us in the cupboard for five years,
he just sat us down and looked at us, my brother and I. He said, what’s going on?
What are you guys doing?
Do you really think this is right?
You can imagine how much a three and four year old boy would be squirming under the
intense loving, but slightly disappointed gaze of someone like that.
And, without ever having to tell us what to do, without ever having to threaten large
punishments and hell and the devil poking you with sticks, somehow he had us always
self-correct.
The key to it was always the attitude he brought to the game.
Now, we’re going to do an experiment about this in a few moments to see if you can generate
the same kind of attitude inside yourself that will suck people around you into natural
trances.
They won’t know it’s happening, but they’ll feel different.
And then you have the freedom to do whatever you want.
If you want to use a formalized technique that you enjoy go ahead, it will have more
impact.
If you want to just talk to them like a human being just from your own life experiences
from your own heart, it will have a greater impact.
Have you come across the idea of state dependent learning anyone?
For those of you who have not it’s very simple.
If you imagine your emotions to be like rooms inside of a mansion, each room is one of those
emotions, a state.
One could be happy.
One could be sad.
One could be angry.
One could be joyful.
Whenever you’re in a particular room, whenever you’re feeling a particular emotion, all
the experiences you have get stored in that room.
When you’re in a happy room it’s filled with photographs of your puppy loving you,
the birth of your first child, getting married (or for some people that may not be happy,
who knows).
When you’re in the sad room the same is true, you’re surrounded by photographs,
images, reminders of all the things that are sad in your life, the losses, the griefs and
so on.
That’s why while you’re in the sad room and someone says to you, hey cheer up; remember
all these happy things.
You can kind of glimpse the happy room down the corridor and you might get a glimpse of
this little photograph and you go yeah I know I was happy then, but I’m not happy right
now.
You get the idea?
This is a phenomena that’s been researched since the 70s extensively.
So, if everything you have learned is stored inside one of these emotional rooms inside
your mind that’s one of the ways to get at it.
Then, when you switch your mood, your mindset, you have access to different resources.
You know this you’ve experienced this and this is how a lot of hypnotherapy gets done
is it not?
But this is also true for your performance skills.
In other words, has everyone here in this room at one point you’re like, let’s have
one example of this to be enough.
Have you had one conversation in your life with someone else where you were given some
advice, where you were given some comfort, where you were given a helping hand, some
support and it really worked?
And you knew it, you could feel goosebumps.
You didn’t even know what you were saying you just know, keep going because this is
the right thing to do right now.
Anyone have an experience like that?
Just one?
What I’d like to focus on today is how to recreate that experience at will with any
person.