hi my name is zack carter i work for dr. trish leigh at porn brain rewire and today i wanted
to talk to you about what we can learn about amber herd's recent court loss porn recovery
and relationships now none of that seems to go together initially but let me square that circle
for you real quick so just give me one sec so first if you haven't heard about this trial most
people are talking about all the news stations are talking about it social media is talking about it
basically in a nutshell johnny depp amber heard got married had a very volatile relationship
ended in divorce after some time amber heard wrote an article that didn't specifically name
johnny depp as the person who was abusive to her in her relationships but it kind of insinuated it
and what ended up happening was johnny depp ended up losing out on supposedly lost out on a
lot of different movies different opportunities because people believe that he was abusive so
what we're talking about today mainly is that amber heard lost that trial and johnny depp was
awarded millions and millions of dollars so i want to talk about one of the main reasons that she
lost and how it applies to you how it applies to porn recovery how it applies to your relationship
so when we watch the trial and the things that happen one of the major factors why amber heard
lost is that she was caught lying repeatedly while she was on the stand and a lot of times it was
about situations that were highly embarrassing so for instance one of the most notorious things that
happened i'll try not to get too explicit with it but she was accused of defecating on their bed
different witnesses verified it and when she was on the stand she said it didn't happen it
didn't happen it didn't happen and all these witnesses came in and said well
it actually it actually did happen and so she was caught in an embarrassing lie
now instead of taking it as an opportunity to say you know what the situation happened
i wasn't in a good place i was in this crazy abusive relationship but you know i did some
things that i'm not proud of instead of that she said no that never happened it wasn't me
so that happened numerous times where she she lied and then ultimately
when the jury looked at the big question does did johnny depp do these things are these accusations
real they didn't believe her in the moment that she needed them to believe her that she was abused
and all these bad things that happened to her due to johnny depp how does that apply to you
how does that apply to me how does that apply to porn how's that apply to relationships so
when we're in relationships you know my mentor always says there are two things you need to
be sober you need to be brutally honest and you need to do whatever it takes to get sober
so one of the aspects about the relationships that you're going to be in
is that you need to be brutally honest even in situations where it is very tough to be honest
so i'll give you an example from my own life to show you where i had to be brutally honest
and how it benefited me in the long run so when i was dating my now wife
i had locked down my phone so that i couldn't get access to pornographies i and i didn't have
a laptop so i couldn't get it through there the last thing that i had access to was a tv
and a dvd player so what i would occasionally do is i would sneak into walmart buy a movie or
rent a movie that i didn't you know i shouldn't have watched that had explicit material in it
and that's kind of how i got my porn substitute since i wasn't watching porn itself
so on one of these occasions you know my wife lived in one house i lived in another
i would hang out with her until nighttime came and then i would leave and i would go home but i had
a walmart right by my house and so i would stop by that walmart and pick pick stuff up and so on
one particular night i stopped by the walmart and my wife calls me now it's usually strange
if i don't pick up um because she knows about the time it takes me to get home and she needed to ask
me about something and so i picked up the phone and she heard the music playing in the background
oh where where are you at i was like well uh i'm at walmart right now oh okay are you
are you are you like picking up food are you picking up some treats she knows i like sweets
you picking up something sweet to eat and i was like not really now the re the reason i was saying
these things was because i told myself in the relationship i was going to be honest with her
at the very least i wasn't going to lie to her and so she was like why why why are you in walmart and
i couldn't find a way around that question other than telling the truth so i told her you know i'm
i'm i'm here picking up a movie i i shouldn't be watching obviously that led to some hurt and
we had to repair a little bit unfortunately that wasn't the last time it would happen
i ended up doing it about two more times and same thing happened she called me while i was
there and you know it didn't go well but i was honest in those hard times ultimately one of the
benefits was i didn't do it anymore because i was like shoot man i don't want to keep hurting
this girl i don't want to keep hurting her by doing this uh but what it also did was it
put trust in the bank for later on so we did what was called eruption to repair where we rupture the
relationship initially but then we repair it come back stronger it's like breaking a bone
it's like a relationship it's like breaking your relationship arm we we broke it had to give it
some time to heal it took some time to heal but when it came back it healed stronger it was it was
more sturdy fast forward a few years and you know i'm in a much better place i've been sober i'm
watching this movie that i didn't realize had some content in it that was a little bit more explicit
and it just so happens that a scene came up and my wife happened to see that i was watching this
and you know i fast forwarded it really quick but she asked me about it what's going on why
why are you watching this what's going on with us this content you're watching
and you know in that moment i was able to say hey look i i didn't know it was there
as soon as it came up i fast forwarded it and when i told her that she's like okay sounds good
why did you let that go so quickly well it's well it's because i did the difficult thing
the difficult immediate thing of telling the truth instead of lying that made it easy in the moment
in my past i told the truth in the moment and when the future comes and when i need her to believe
me hey i'm not watching stuff i'm not supposed to be watching she can believe me right so this
this is how amber heard's court trial applies to you as a person who's trying to get out of
porn addiction and trying to improve their relationships you got to do the tough thing
you got to be brutally honest even when it sucks even when it's embarrassing even when it hurts
even when it's going to hurt her a little bit you have to tell the truth because over the long term
it's going to benefit the relationship you're going to rupture and you're going to repair
okay so that's the main thing i wanted to talk to you about today was telling the truth being honest
improving your relationships through the truth and doing it even when it's hard if you need help if
you want to have if you want someone there for you while you're trying to overcome your porn habits
your sex your sex addiction uh there's gonna be a link underneath the video where you can click and
you can sign up for coaching with me and i highly recommend you do it i'm gonna help you i'm gonna
help you get out of this thing i'm gonna help you improve your relationships and this is just one
of the many components that we would talk about okay so thanks for watching and we'll see you soon