Today on the Anime Zone, a review of Sword Art Online,
an anime about a group of players trapped in a virtual reality MMORPG trying to escape.
It has romance, it has adventure, it has mystery,
but best of all, it has the epic boss battles!
Don't let up your attacks, everyone!
If we just push him a little further, the battle is won!
We can do this! We can win this!
This is it, guys! Who's taking the final shot?
LEEEEEEROY JEEEENKINS!!!!!!
Fuck.
My.
Life!
The world of MMORPGs confuse me;
I've never properly got into them personally, but as an outsider looking in,
it just seems like a massive time-sponge in which you'll probably play
as some ugly mother-fucking mutant man-dwarf if you're a male
or some sex god elf complete with big tits if you want to pretend you're a female
running around in a virtual world full of other big tits,
spending days on end raising an arbitrary number that represents your strength,
which probably rises in negative correlation to your sex life.
But what the hell do I know?
Nevertheless, the genre has gained massive popularity
in both the East and West that can only be topped worldwide
the day someone decides to make Gears of Halo: Modern Black Ops 7
featuring Nazi Zombies that dance Gangnam Style.
So, it should come as no surprise to anyone
that the anime that has gained most popularity and, of course, controversy in 2012
is the RPG-based anime Sword Art Online.
The story starts off introducing the newest MMORPG to hit the market, Sword Art Online,
a game so great that geeks worldwide have apparently been tossing themselves silly
in glee and anticipation while the rest of the world is probably out there having sex.
On its launch day, everything seems to be going swimmingly for everyone;
the world looks gorgeous and game plays every bit as great as it's hyped up to be.
That is, until the game's creator, Kayaba Akihiko, gathers all players
in one place to reveal a catch:
Firstly, all players' avatars are changed to look like their real-world bodies.
Good-looking men become fat geeks,
good-looking ladies become fat geeks,
fat geeks become fat geeks,
and underage girls become FBI agents.
Secondly, all players are now trapped in the game with no way out until they complete it.
Everyone must live, breathe, and play the world of Sword Art Online
until someone beats all 100 floors of it.
And here's the stinger: If you die in the game,
it will be the end of your life!
...online.
Or, to put it in words that everyone will understand,
people die if they are killed!
The story is told through the eyes of our main protagonist, Kirito,
one of the original beta testers in the game who,
in real life, is a super hacker that's been obsessed with spending every waking hour
trapped inside, playing video games ever since a young age,
a.k.a. he's a fucking loser!
At least he should be, if he didn't attract every female within a 10-mile in-game radius.
Yes, it's pretty much established that the female players are somewhat rare in the game,
and yet the main character seems like a bona fide chick magnet
with a variety of different girls, all in different shapes and boob sizes,
lining up so he can have a pick of which stereotype he wants.
Other important character include Asuna, the main female lead
introduced as a mysterious badass player that turns out to be a generic tsundere
who is completely useless without her boyfriend;
Suguha, who is introduced later on and gets plenty of development,
by which I mean she has massive breasts,
who is completely useless without her boyfriend;
and the rest of the harem bait, who only get about one episode of screentime anyway,
but is enough to establish that they're completely useless without their fucking boyfriend,
but I'll touch on that subject later.
Now, with my previous reaction videos,
there might be some confusion as to what I actually thought about the show,
so I'll just lay that to rest right now. Did I think Sword Art Online was good?
Ehh... kind of.
There are some things that the show does really well,
and one of them is most certainly the action.
If A-1 Pictures has proven something to me after watching this and Birdy the Mighty: Decode,
it's that they know how to do their action and they know how to do it absolutely gorgeously.
The highlight in SAO is undoubtedly the action scenes
and this especially shines during every single boss battle we see.
The boss battles were a glorious spectacle that never failed to drop my jaw right down to the floor
and gave me a nostalgic thrill of the hours spent fighting my own boss battles
as a kid playing some grand video game.
Combine this with a soundtrack made by Yuki Kajiura, who,
if you can't remember, did the soundtrack to Fate/Zero,
and you'll find yourself having eyes and eargasms
during the fantastically-done high points of the show,
even if the choir sounds like they're singing about gaming snacks.
Yes, the action and music are definitely the highlights of this show,
in addition to the beautiful art that really made the stunning in-game setting stand out
and made you feel like you wanted to be a part of this game.
Unfortunately, the same cannot be said about the story and characters,
which have enough individual problems to fill up a Britannica Encyclopedia set.
Though, to be honest, just about every problem I have can be summed up in basically 1 line:
IT'S SHIT!
Joking... Joking...
In all seriousness, the show takes itself way too seriously--
so much so that I'm pretty sure it ripped off some iconic scenes
from End of Evangelion and Berserk
because apparently it's just as serious as those other two shows...
Yes, the biggest feeling I got from this series was that it was trying to set itself up
as an epic action-adventure tale set in a vast, unexplored online virtual world,
when it just really felt like a group of twats pissing about in a video game.
The characters themselves aren't nearly as developed as they pretend to be
since the amount of characterization I got after 25 episodes of following Kirito
is that he's some awesome badass because he wears black clothes and is really good at video games,
spends most of his time trying to be the lone antihero
and picks up chicks along the way like they're fucking Pokémon.
He's the ultimate wish-fulfillment character since he's stupidly overpowered for unexplained reasons
and anything remotely vagina-shaped becomes completely reliant on him--
perfectly encapsulated in this scene here when he takes on 7 full-grown motherfuckers
to protect what looks like a 5-year-old
and becomes the first person ever to win a fight by apparently standing people into submission.
Asuna's character, for all the potential she showed in her badass introduction,
just turns out to be a generic tsundere that doesn't develop any deeper than that.
Her romance with Kirito feels so forced and generic,
it feels like it was written by a teenager who was just guessing at how romances work.
Guy meets girl, they kinda know each other, spend some time together,
she acts like she doesn't like him (BULLSHIT!),
she cooks for him, suddenly she likes him, they spend a few more days together,
and then they just decide to get married
...What?
The whole thing was just handled so lazily and developed a ridiculously unnatural pace,
leaving Asuna as nothing more than a plot device by the end.
As for the story, well, the biggest draw for this show is, of course,
the great way the series set up its premise.
The first three episode of the show were great,
setting up the intriguing premise perfectly that hinted at an epic quest to clear the game
that would take a hell of a lot of work, sacrifice, and hardship
that could possibly lead to some higher purpose.
It instantly drew you in and made you want to see more of this world and how things would develop.
Unfortunately from there, it never really built on the tone and potential set in early episodes
by instead deciding to focus on a soirée of side stories that hardly ever focused on the main goal
while constantly having time skips as if half the show is set in the hyperbolic time chamber.
One moment, it was an action-adventure, and the next minute it was CSI: fucking Warcraft.
It didn't have any focus, which is a shame
because if the plot did decide to go in the direction of the early episode,
it could have been a great anime.
Even with these problems, though, the first half was still an enjoyable look into a real-life gaming environment
and it was very interesting to see the psychological implications
of actually creating a society in a virtual world.
Each episode managed to build on a new aspect of the game,
and just seeing how core game mechanics were integrated into our daily lives
led to a very intriguing setting that never failed to grab my interest.
However, the shoddy writing becomes completely evident in the second half of the show
when it takes a nosedive so spectacular, it was Olympic Medal-worthy.
Without spoiling too much, the great action is still there,
but the story takes a turn which makes it lose all sense of purpose
while ironically managing to make you feel like you're watching a video game
played by some pretentious idiots taking it 10,000 times too seriously.
All feeling of urgency is lost and it's hard to feel for characters when the entire story arc
is driven by a romance that was a dribbling mess in the first place.
A little sister character is introduced, who's not REALLY a sister.
*wink* *wink*
along with a new villain who seems about as threatening as a camp butterfly,
probably because that's exactly what he looks like,
not helped by the fact that he's a middle-age man who just happens to scream like a 15-year-old girl.
Kayaba!
The writing also takes a backseat as there are multiple moments
where the show disregards its own in-game rules in favor of deus ex machina writing
to either advance the plot or make Kirito look like a badass,
leading to some ass-pulls so big, it probably left the show with an anus the size of the Grand Canyon.
The show has the exact opposite problem that High School of the Dead had,
by trying to be something it was not.
And if it wasn’t taking itself too seriously,
I probably would be a lot less harsh on it because there is a lot of fun to be had here.
Despite all of this, though, it has still become by far the most popular anime of 2012.
It's no surprise how there was such a huge popularity spike
since I'm pretty sure becoming the most badass character stuck in the ultimate video game
with hordes of females chasing after you is the secret wish of every gamer out there.
But bad writing and shoddy characters aside,
the show was definitely entertaining, particularly if you're a gamer.
There's a certain sense of satisfaction in seeing all these gaming terms being thrown around
and raising the stakes up to a game that looks genuinely fun to play
because, as many criticisms as I had, I was never once bored while watching this show,
even if part of the entertainment was seeing the amount of stupid being radiated in later episodes.
The action at its best was able to make me forget about the story and characters for a brief period.
The setting makes it the perfect gateway anime for newbies,
and they obviously know their target audience well enough to execute this premise--
so much so that I would say, if you like video games, especially if you like MMORPGs,
you will probably like this in one way or another.
Overall, Sword Art Online is a solid show that has an interesting premise
with great animation and music,
but really fails when it comes to the characters and plot.
At the very least, it's an entertaining watch and does well to explore the concept
of actually living in a high-stakes game,
but it takes itself far too seriously and if you want any kind of enjoyment from this anime,
it's probably best to watch it without thinking too much.
It's not as good as the fanboys praise it to be,
but it's not as bad as the haters claim it to be either.
Currently, Sword Art Online has yet to have a DVD or Blu-Ray release
but is available for streaming on Crunchyroll.
You can also go to Crunchyroll.com/TheAnimeZone for a free fortnight of Premium Membership.
And, if there's one thing gamers should take from this series,
it's that you shouldn't take your gaming life too seriously.
All it ever boils down to is a bunch of numbers
and your online life doesn't have to be ruled by some arbitrary numbers that have no real meaning.
On a topic, how about subscribing to me so I can reach 60,000 subs?
Kirito may bang all the chicks,
but Kirito know no who know the leader dabow
with the bunda whatta?
Slap me upside the head and call me Gary Stu!