hello i'm jack whitehall and this is the
wired
autocomplete interview
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i find that i probably shouldn't google
myself as much as i do but i can't stop
picking the scab
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who does jack whitehall look like i'll
tell you the worst one i've ever had for
someone coming up and asking me i was in
a pub and a man came up to me whilst i
was talking to other people in public uh
tapped me on the shoulder and he went
mate
do you know what you look like i was
like oh
i've been recognized
who do i look like i went you look like
a fat jack whitehall
that's probably the worst when i got
recognized as a fat version of myself
very distressing who inspires oh i
thought there's another one there who
inspires jack whitehall i'll tell you
what someone i've just
been fortunate enough to share the
screen with on clifford for the big red
dog john cleese my comedy hero i got to
meet and work with john he actually came
to watch me do a gig as well i did new
material i didn't actually do new
material i was going to do new material
and then he was like can i come to the
gig and sat
at the back but unfortunately he's like
six foot eight so all i could see was
him looking at me and i was like i'm not
trying new jokes i'm doing the best
jokes i've ever written and he laughed
and it
made all of my dreams come true who did
jack whitehall go to school with it's
something i've complained about a lot
that when
my school is written about in the
newspapers
they always mention all the other people
that went there tom hiddleston emma
watson robert pattinson
never me
and i used to complain about that and
say what do i have to achieve to be
mentioned
in the same breath as those people when
they're writing about my school why am i
their dirty little secret
and i said that on interviews i said it
on podcast said it on radio shows you
have to be careful what you wish for six
months ago there was a story about my
school in the newspaper
one of the teachers have been found with
inappropriate pornography on his laptop
and have been arrested and the headline
in the newspaper was teacher at jack
whitehall's former school canned and a
picture of me i'd never even met this
guy he wasn't a teacher when i was there
there was a picture of me and then this
pervert
and no mention of the others then
where's emma watson now
nowhere near the article just all about
me
jack whitehall's teacher he wasn't my
teacher
it's literally just a picture of me and
a picture of him like i was his muse
who is jack whitehall's who is oh who is
jack whitehall isolating with
well no one now that would be weird if i
was still isolating lockdown's over do
you think there are people that are
still doing that
trying to convince the person that
they're with yeah like just don't turn
on the news
but it's still going we're still in the
lockdown making sure they don't leave
that's kidnap um
i was isolating with my girlfriend
and my brother and his girlfriend all of
us in the same house quite intense just
spent most of the time watching
come down with me and the great british
bake off how are jack whitehall's
parents
i think they've outstayed their welcome
in terms of them being in the public eye
i don't wish
you know i don't know that sounded quite
morbid but they're there for all the
world to see
how
to draw jack whitehall i was once drawn
at school naked
not by the teacher
no not by a friend it was a friend of
mine at school not one of the famous
people that i just mentioned just my
mate freddie i've said his name probably
should have made up one he once drew me
naked for an art project because he
wanted to draw his girlfriend naked and
he felt like he wouldn't be able to do
that legitimately as an art project
unless he drew a man as well and he
asked me to do it so i was like well i
guess i'll have to you know help my
friend out
it's a bit weird now saying it out loud
anyway he then drew me but i hadn't got
permission from the head of art who then
turned up because he did it in the art
school and he walked in on me and
freddie and it was like a scene from
titanic freddie got in a lot of trouble
and never ended up drawing his
girlfriend so he just drew me naked and
there's there's that picture is out
there in the world somewhere that's the
picture that could probably bring me
down it was very cold as well that day
in the art block
it's frosty not just
between us but the temperature was cold
how posh is jack whitehall i say pretty
posh but not
because there's like different echelons
of posh when you actually get into it
i'm not like an aristo you know i'm not
you know eating swan and
marrying my sister
i'm like one down from that so i'd say
within posh i'm not actually as posh as
maybe i sound but obviously
compared to most people i'm pretty posh
how did jack whitehall prepare for
clifford i read the books
read all of them
really like studied the text working
with a cgi dog came with its challenges
most days it was two men in a puppet
operating clifford but for some of the
other scenes it was just
body parts of clifford that were used so
there was a man from the props
department who would have his head in a
big rubber tongue that he would then dip
in a bucket of
glue and then
like lick people with i mean in the
scene that wasn't just he wasn't doing
that for sort of hijinks on set there
was a scene where i'm holding on to
clifford's tail and that was two people
holding a tail and probably most
distressingly we had to interact with
clifford
and just clifford's head and that was a
guy from the props department um holding
i mean there's no other way to say it
like clifford's dismembered head on a
pike what is jack white's hall's job i
don't want to say triple threat because
that sounds a bit arrogant but i am
technically a triple threat because i'm
an actor a writer and a comedian jack of
all trades
as they say
and a master of none what
nationality is jack whitehall
british
as british as fish and chips
crumpets
terrible dentistry
that's me
what
team
does jack whitehall
play for oh no
support i support arsenal that's my
soccer team
or even saying that out loud feels weird
football team
because remember
second one british
what is jack whitehall doing these days
talking about cliff for the big red dog
sharing the love big love hashtag big
love that's what i've been doing loving
big
i know no other way to love
my love is boundless it's huge enormous
it feels really bad that i've somehow
sort of managed to make that really
sweet hashtag a bit sexual
it's a children's film
but it's hashtag big love what did jack
whitehall say about niall horan if
something silly and innocuous
about him being in harry styles shadow
but i don't really believe that
enough said about niall
let's leave him alone
hasn't he suffered enough see then again
that sounded really backhanded i didn't
mean it to sound backhanded
does jack whitehall
wear glasses
i did wear glasses i'm blind as a bat
but now i wear
contact lenses
because i don't want anything getting
underwear these baby blues
but yeah i'm i'm really quite blind does
jack whitehall
have tattoos i have thug life across my
shoulder blades
and then snitches live in ditches
on my left buttock yeah i probably
wouldn't start with those tattoos if i
was going to get a tattoo i i might yeah
i might get a tattoo maybe i should get
clifford i could get big love tattoos
i wonder where
oh no does jack whitehall
call his dad daddy
i do call my dad daddy
and i hate myself for it
it's so cringe and i catch myself doing
it
and i try to stop myself
it's either that or sir
i think daddy's
mildly better but yeah i wish i didn't
call him daddy does jack whitehall have
webbed feet
no but my mom does she's probably not
over the moon that i'm sharing that
with the world maybe it's something that
i'll develop a webbed foot like my mum
why jack whitehall why jack whitehall
can't drive some are born to drive
others have wanted to be driven
and also i just kept failing because i
was trying to learn on a manual but yeah
i probably should learn to drive
although i like to think that i'm doing
my bit for the environment
why can't jack whitehall drive because
jack whitehall
wants his grandchildren to know what a
polar bear is why does jack whitehall
why does jack whitehall dad carry a doll
i mean really good question why does he
carry a doll
got given this weird freaky little in
thailand a look tap doll which is meant
to be good luck
charm that you take on your travels
anyway he now treats it like a real
child dresses the little doll up in
little suits
goes and buys clothes for this doll has
even given the doll hand-me-downs like
my baby clothes that he dresses this
weird little doll up in he takes it
everywhere
to events
family functions
i had to genuinely have a conversation
where one of my best friends called me
up and said look i know you and your
family coming to my wedding can you
please ask them not to bring the doll
because i want the day to be about my
wife and not this weird little doll that
your dad
carries around it's so strange why is
jack whitehall famous from a very early
age he just
really
craved attention
i think that's probably
why it all started being a
cloying
ambitious
ruthless attention seeker
that's why i hate the doll stealing my
limelight is jack wild
is jack whitehall real yes here
physical i do exist
is jack whitehall returning to a league
of their own depends what the money is
uh no i'm not i
left for other reasons is jack while
friends with rob pattinson
i mean not friends but like
we bump into each other every now and
again
and
i have a lot of respect for him possibly
not respect that's reciprocated because
i used to trash talk him but
guys done good he's chat whitehall the
blob what else does that mean mr blobby
he was like
i guess a man in a big puppet suit
who made this really weird noise it was
like
children's entertainment but like
i think when you look back on it as an
adult deeply sinister and i was quite
scared of him is jack whitehall
allergic to chlorine i'm not allergic to
chlorine
but i played a character on bad
education
my tv sitcom who was allergic to
chlorine so i can see where
the confusion has occurred
life and art merging wasn't really a
heart that show
just three seasons of dick jokes kanjak
whitehall can jack whitehall play the
saxophone i can't play the saxophone
although i have air saxed
that sounds dodgy i have
pretended to play the saxophone with
epic sax guy
the sunstroke project who are
legends of the eurovision song contest
and i performed on stage with them in
moldova and i
pretended to play the saxophone but i no
sound was actually coming out can jack
whitehall fence yes i have fenced before
fencing with swords not um
putting up a fence in a garden i know my
parry from my flunge
these are two little
fencing terms for the fencing buffs
watching
can jack whitehall irish dance
i can't irish dance i have irish dance
before on a tv show
and they cheated it by getting an actual
irish dancer who they shot from the
waist down and i was shot from the waist
up my experience of irish dancing it's a
lot easier from the waist up
literally you just have to do that
but anyone can do it final board
jack whitehall
where did jack whitehall go in thailand
i went to bangkok
and phuket it was wonderful i missed
traveling to places where there was a
language barrier i always thought it
would be harder to be
in a country with a language barrier and
then realized when i traveled to america
in australia that actually if you're
traveling with my father
it's much better if he is hidden behind
preferably a very dense language barrier
it's much easier
to be in public with him when people
can't understand what he's saying how
they're being insulted so that's why i
love thailand
i felt safe there was jack whitehall in
harry potter alas i was not in harry
potter i auditioned for harry potter
i did not get the role but you know i'm
i'm fine with that
robert pattinson was in it
but again happy fame who is jack
whitehall's spirit animal my spirit
animal
is that big lover
clifford the big red dog actually not
big lover
big love that's the hashtag hashtag big
love
clifford
has jack whitehall
don shakespeare
i have not but i suspect when the
directors at the royal shakespeare
company see clifford the big red dog
they will be calling my agent forthwith
and asking me to get on the first plane
to stratford i shall play
the day i shall go
from playing
with the great dane
to he's not technically a great dane but
he's a big red dog to playing the dane
what shakespeare would i actually like
to do
probably mid summer night's stream so if
any
directors are watching
you know where to find me what have i
learnt about myself today i've learned
that i do have aspirations to tread the
boards
and do some shakespeare
no one's asked me that
and it took this
auto-complete interview with wyatt to
realize
that i have
those
lofty aspirations
who knew that this would be the
environment that i realized that's my
calling thank you so much wired
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