Hey Barron! It's personnel not personal! Ha ha ha
And now everyone's laughing at you. How do you handle it? How do you respond? How do
you save yourself?
I'm Barron Cruz and this is the Charisma Matrix.
Swoooosh (Sound)
We've all been made fun of, whether it be in third grade at the playground
or and more sophisticated way in a corporate environment.
The kind words we assign to be made fun on whether it be teasing, razzing, giving
a hard time, poking fun at...
We kind of assign different meetings to it basically what it is
is somebody coming at you condescending way
poking light at a mistake you made or some sort of flaw in yourself to make a
joke.
The question is how do we respond to it? You hear all the time whether you want to
get the playground my kids getting made
Barnabas getting bullied or do good work mate is always making fun to me in front
of people is making me look bad
concerted shark how we deal with that
what we had a way that we could come back people making fun of a cell not
only would make us look good in that light
but also discourage the person the future for making fun of us
today we're going to talk about how so when you get made fun of
the first thing you want to do is be sure that you do not respond
emotionally what the person is looking for
is an emotional response to validate that what they said was fun
or had impact so you don't respond emotionally
you are taking way seventy percent with the person wanted to accomplish
and when other people are around observing that they will be don't wanna
see that but they're seeing
if you will crack or break or buy into the other person's frame
by having an emotional reaction so let me give you our
more high-level example let's say that you or being a
corporate environment in your meeting room in the state the people around in
europe reading in USA
I'm yes and that also applies to all the all the personnel
and someone says bird it's not personal its personnel
okay what do you do now everyone's kinda wait to see it as a few giggles
with a person you should have done is you sure recognize a mistake
if you did and acknowledge it so what might be a good thing you could say
right now
okay you're going to get right out in front of it and take it a step
even further the person did so you say and it applies to all the personal
back hurts her pearls personnel you have been nice if I could read it
and if the person is pattern making like this in a nice way you hate speech
person held up personal
then you could say be nice to read kinda laughing
but the person is kinda being mean spirited about as a parent its personnel
not personal
well then you need to come with the same kind of sharp tone you're gonna say
yeah be nice if I could read when it now you're gonna come or are there gonna
realize that
what they said was not something that's cool with you in your rocket take
someone making fun of you
so get out in front of goal over the top right you're saying not only cannot
pronounce the word
but I keep it barely read English so it's hard for someone what you gonna say
from there
it's hard for them to take it a step further because you already taken it to
the epitome of where that joke don't go
so that's the first thing no reacting this secondly
exaggerate the mistake to a point of absurdity
but there's no way that they can come and take a point further and then
depending on how they came at you
whether they were told was lighthearted and fun or very
kinda angry condescending back to your respond in the same kind of tonality the
same kind of some communication
so let's take it back to the school yard your kid now that's kinda more
sophisticated Joe
poking fun at someone what about a very crude one
you're in the schoolyard you got a few extra pounds on me and someone says
all look at Bayern about boy he's having a hard time getting up those stairs
now the kids a look at you same exact example the stuff happens throughout the
stages of life you know
life is one big high school he always used to say it's it's true in some
social environments
so how do you respond to that been calling batboy what do you do
okay review unreacted that's a first really do
so na canopy I I won't buy
overweight not thinking logically you don't want to attack back
with any have logical you wanna take it a step further with no emotional
reaction so what might we say
this the schoolyards are gonna be a lil more crooner action so
there's batboy apparent he took a hard time getting up the steps you say
you know you're right car which is a one time in my life I could turn down a
cupcake
is your mom making cupcakes again tonight cuz I'll be by later she is cute
please make sure that you're not home okay kinda crew
right but the grade school grades are you want to be more crude to combat that
kind of crude humor so what are we doing
non-responsive taking it a step further not only my little overweight
but I've never been able to turn a cupcake the home what's
now because he was very rude and evil spirit in his comet
you're gonna go up to come back and say is your mom making cupcakes
to call your mom joke knows what's funny but it is your mom making cupcakes is so
I'll be by later
can you make sure you're not there okay so you were under sponsored you didn't
get what you wanted
do what he wanted you're making a joke about it you're taking what he was
saying to observe level
night coming back at him just got up to respond how your spot about your mom a
job making cupcakes
but even tougher to respond to go he said so now
he not only didn't get the response you wanted he's probably trying to make a
joke for people to make himself look cool
so not only did he not look cool but he looks bad and he's up against the very
top
kind of comeback but now he looks worse if you would have said anything at all
naturally the justice you want them to come out worse than if they witnessed
anything at all to discourage that kind of behavior
in the future so regardless
through third grade or if you're in the nursing home at seventy eight-years-old
someone's make it part of your pinochle game
what are you gonna do non-responsive
take to the point absurdity and if need be come back with something else
probably even more absurd to them to discourage that
behavior in that kind of attacking mentality in the future