Oh, yeah, I know what you mean.
Work problems, yeah?
What do you do, or what can you do?
Hi, James from engVid.
I'm going to actually help you with that.
Now, whether you work in North America, Ireland, Australia, or you're in your own country,
we all have workplace problems, and what do I mean by that?
We have situations in which someone's treating you in a way that you need to fix or resolve.
Resolve means, you know, fix, basically.
You got to fix this problem, otherwise it leads to greater problems.
Maybe you won't be satisfied at work, or your employer won't be happy with you.
An example could be, well, you have somebody at work who thinks they're your boss, and
they're going to try and tell you what to do or how you should do it, but they don't
pay you, and if you listen to them, you might lose that job.
Well, today I'm going to give you a lesson and give you five different common workplace
problems you might run into, and I'm going to give you a solution by giving you a couple
of phrases or sentences that you can use that lets them know a couple of things.
The two things are this.
Number one, you're not going to deal with somebody else's problems, like, you will solve
this thing now.
But number two, you're a professional, right?
Because you know you work on a team, and you have to work together whether, you know, after
this situation, whatever it is.
And they know that they can work with you because you will not disrespect them, but
you're also saying, "Don't disrespect me."
Cool?
So, we've got that for you.
We've got five.
We're going to go to the board, and I'm going to give you five common ones.
There may be other ones that I haven't touched upon, but these ones usually will come up.
Trust me, you're probably going to go, "Oh, yeah", and I don't care if it's in English.
You might be at your own company, you might be in Argentina going, "That happened last
week in Spanish."
I'm like, "Yeah.
Common."
So, let's go to the board, shall we?
Thanks to you for bringing these up.
So, the first one I want to talk about is when your employer is adding to your work,
and you go, "Yeah, well, my employer always adds."
They go, "No, no, no, no, no, no.
In this particular case, you have - you were hired for a job.
If you're a photographer, that's your job."
When they say, "Okay, now, when you finish taking the pictures, can you please take the
garbage out and then wipe the floors down?", you're like, "That's not on my contract."
Now, you can't say to your boss, "No, that's not my contract.
I'm not doing it."
Sure you can.
You can say it.
You can watch the people who've done it, they say it, and then they lose their job or they
get in trouble or further problems.
This is something you can say that lets the boss know that I'm open to doing extra stuff,
but I also need - I need to be compensated, which means paid appropriately for doing this,
or given another title or something, so let's talk about it.
And that's why I said they will give you respect if you're saying, "Sure, I'll do it.
I'm part of the team, but respect me."
So, here we go.
This is not part of my current - and this is the important part, because your responsibilities
are what you signed on to do the job.
So, if they want to give you something new, you're saying, "Hey, this is not part of my
current responsibilities, but if this is an opportunity to expand my role in the company,
I would be happy to entertain reworking my contract", which means, "Hey, look, if you
want to give me more responsibility, I'm happy to do so if I get extra compensation or more
pay, or if I get these more responsibilities, I get more privileges in some way, shape,
or form."
Okay?
So, that's this one, number one.
So, when your employer is saying, "Hey, can you do this?", you're like, "Sure, let's negotiate."
What about number two?
We talked about your employer giving you work.
Well, sometimes there's somebody, your colleague - colleague means someone you work with - they
are acting like your boss.
You sit side-by-side at a desk, you're the exact same, they are not your boss, but suddenly
they're like, "Hey, Johnson, we need to get this thing done by Tuesday.
How long is it going to take you for you to do it?"
And you're like, "You're not my boss.
You can't tell me you need it done by this time or that time."
So, then what you're going to do is this.
You're going to use this sentence.
This will help, once again, put you in a position or them in a position where you are saying,
"Hey, look, we work together, I don't want this to be an unfriendly relationship, but
we have to know where the line is, the barrier is, the partition."
Right?
Like, "This is where you work, this is where I work.
You're not my boss, you're not above me, we're the same, so stop acting like it."
But you can't just say it like that, that might cause some animosity, which is anger,
so we'll say this instead.
Okay?
If someone starts telling you, "Hey, you need to do this, this, and this", you say very
quickly, so you want them to respect you, you go, "Hey, you'll need to figure out another
way to get that or it, whatever it is, that project or this project, it done.
I'm busy with my own work and I can't help you."
Meaning, that's your work, this is my work.
I'm doing my responsibilities, you need to do your responsibilities.
Okay?
Now, if it's your boss, it's different.
They could say, "Hey, you need to do this."
But you're not my boss, so I've got work to do.
Figure out how you're going to get your own work done.
Because generally, when someone's acting like your boss, they're usually trying to give
you their work.
Stop that right away.
Cool?
All right.
So, that's the second one, someone acting like your boss, and I've seen that tons of
times.
Now, number three, to stop someone from continuously interrupting you.
This could be at a meeting, like a formal meeting, this could be actually colleagues
working and talking together, and then someone, you're speaking, and then someone just interrupts
and goes, "No, I think this", and da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da.
They just start talking, and you're, you know, it's your turn to speak, and this is a professional
environment.
This isn't you at home with your sisters and brothers or a couple of friends, you're having
a couple of beers and you're just talking, "Ah, it doesn't matter."
It does matter.
If the company, if you cannot communicate in a company, a company cannot succeed, and
if a company cannot succeed, you all lose your jobs.
So, one of the first things you have to remember is respect that if someone's speaking aloud
for them to say their ideas, get it out there, and if you have something to say, add it afterwards.
Not to stop them from actually saying anything, because you think your ideas are better, because
you don't know.
Yours might not be better.
So, in this case, someone is interrupting you continuously.
What do you do?
The first thing you want to do is thank them.
I did a previous video before when I said something like you can steal a conversation
by saying something like, "You know, you're right", or "Well, that's an interesting opinion
you have", and what you're doing is you're stealing the conversation by sort of giving
a compliment to someone, in a way, and because of that, they give you their attention.
Once they give you their attention, other people give you their attention, and then
you can take the conversation back.
Now, this is a professional environment, so you don't want to say, you know, just anything.
We want to make it such that the attention comes back and that person feels validated.
What I mean by validated is they feel good.
You're making them like, "Hey, what you did was a great contribution."
No, it wasn't.
But I'm going to say that to get the attention back, and then I'm going to address what happened.
Once again, we're showing them respect, but we're saying, "Hey, no, no, no, no, no.
We don't play this game.
That's going to be a problem.
Share the space, share the air."
So, we start off with, "Thank you for sharing", right?
I'm thanking you.
You were interrupting me, and I'm thanking you, but look.
"Thank you for sharing your insights", insights are like your ideas or your views or what
have you.
John or Bob, address them directly.
You don't want to just say that and then they think you're talking to everyone, so you're
like, "Thank you for sharing your insights, John."
Dun, dun, dun.
And look at them so they know you are interrupting me, but please wait until I'm finished sharing
my thoughts before you continue.
And you're also giving them back the floor, so you're saying, "Hey, look.
I do want to hear, I do want to hear what you have to say.
Just let me finish what I have to say first, then I'm happy to listen to you.
I'm going to share, and I want you to share."
See how nice that is?
Compliment, get their attention.
Address them, make sure they know that you're talking to them.
Tell them what they're doing wrong in a nice way, and then tell them, "But I will play
nicely and I'll let you have the floor when I'm done, so wait."
Cool?
All right.
Number four, to get to the point in a long conversation.
Anybody who knows me, and if you watch my videos long enough, I start off somewhere
and then I go, "What was I talking about?" and you have to remind me.
We're going to stop that stuff right now.
You can even do it to me.
It's actually kind of good because it makes sure this particular sentence, it makes sure
that you're actually also paying attention, and this is the respect angle.
You're paying attention to the actual conversation.
Maybe someone started talking about one thing, and then they went on a tangent, which means
they go off a little bit because it was related, but it starts going further and further away,
so it's not quite related.
You can come back to the original point by going, "Okay, so what you're telling me",
so we say this, "So what you're saying is", and then you kind of repeat some - not everything
- what they're saying, the general point of where you wanted to go, so they go, "Oh yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah, that's what we were talking about.
Yeah, yeah.
That's it."
So, you can stop the conversation from going longer and longer, and you can bring it back
to the point that you guys have to discuss, and you're not saying, "Hey, hey, you lost
it.
Like, what are you talking about?
That's..."
No, you're saying, "Okay.
I was listening."
We call it a recap.
It's a recap.
"I was listening, and what I understand is you're saying this, so you're saying this",
and then they can kind of go, "Okay.
Oh, right.
Oh, I lost track, but now I'm back."
I like that.
I lost track, now I'm back.
It rhymes.
Anyway, so you get them to do that.
They feel okay about it, right?
Because you didn't insult them or embarrass them in front of people, and you've actually
repeated what they're saying, saying, "I was actually paying attention to you, because
what you say is important."
Okay?
Now, number five is not the same as this.
This is different.
You were actually having a conversation.
You were both discussing what you both needed on a similar topic.
This is when someone comes into your office or someone's talking to you, and they start
off with, "Hey, Jan.
How are you doing this morning?"
"Yeah.
Nice book.
Nice book."
"Hear about what's happening with Tommy?"
"Yeah.
Yeah.
He's moving to a new thing."
"Anyway, do you know about the Johnson Project?"
"Yeah.
Yeah.
Johnson Project.
Oh.
What's happening on Thursday?"
And you're like, "I've got stuff to do."
Okay.
You mentioned the Johnson Project, and then you could say, "Is there something you need
from on my end, on my end, or from my end to get this done?"
You're bringing it back and saying, "Okay.
What do you want?"
And that's what this one is.
"What do you want from me?"
You've come in this room, clearly you wanted something, and if you - if they don't want
anything, that's okay.
They can go, "No.
I just wanted to say hi."
And, you know, we say, "Shoot the beam."
It's an S-H-I-T word, and that means just to talk about stuff, right?
"I just wanted to shoot the - oh, okay.
Cool.
Great.
Now they know that.
I've got work to do.
I've got to go back to work."
Or, "Great.
It's nice talking to you.
You know I love doing that."
But sometimes you actually want to know what somebody needs from you because they actually
might need something from you, and if it's something that's timely, which means it's
got to be done by a certain time, they need to tell you that because you don't want to
get in an hour conversation and find out it was due 15 minutes ago.
Or maybe you're busy and they're just shooting the breeze - that's another way of saying
it - and you're like, "Great.
Five minutes is cool, but I've got work to do."
Okay?
This way, if you follow these five, and I'm sure you're going to find examples - I want
you to just - I'm going to say, "Wait for a second, and just stop back and think.
When was there a time your employer walked in and asked you to do something that wasn't
part of your job, a bigger responsibility?"
So it's not just, "Can you do this thing?
Put this book away from me."
But a bigger part, and they just kind of expected you to do it, but they didn't talk about compensation
or pay.
It was just like, "Now you've got another two hours worth of work."
That's just it.
That's not quite right, right?
You do more work, you should be paid for it if it's of value.
Next, that guy or girl who acts like your boss, they get up from their desk and they're
sitting right beside you and go, "You know, you should be doing this."
And it's like, "I don't remember signing a contract with you."
This is a good one to say, "Hey, look, I've got work to do, so you solve your own problems.
You stay over there and I'll do mine."
Right?
How about this one?
"To stop someone from continuously interrupting."
Ugh, I think that happens in every workplace, and then you sometimes just sit there quietly
waiting for them, and what they've done is something rude, but you have to be respectful
to them as well, right?
You've got to work together.
Getting to the point in a long conversation, I love this one because it is so nice.
It's like I am - I do respect you and I like to hear what you have to say, but there's
only so much time we have for it.
And finally, this one, "What do you need from me?"
And I know what you need from me right now, which is the extras you're used to getting.
So, let's go to the board and get to it.
Okay, we're back.
So, I went over the five things, right?
We did the lesson, then I kind of did a review for you.
I did that review because this is something I want you to come back and again.
It's not something you really want to get quizzed on, because I did explain it to you,
and I think just by going over it and watching the video, if necessary, you'll get the idea.
And when you do the homework, you'll definitely get the idea, because I know we have a great
crew, support, or a community here, and I read many of the comments, and how many times
I read something with someone telling a story that's happened to them, or ways that they've
used some of the information given to them, I know that even if this lesson didn't cover
everything you wanted, someone's going to help you out there.
So, I need you to do your homework, because you do more than you think, you help a lot
of people.
I love you.
Anyway, so, let's do the bonus, you know, I'm going to give you a bonus.
Now, the bonus is this, repeat the last few words a person says.
Now, there's a book out, and I honestly can't recall what it's called, it's a book on negotiation,
this guy used to work for the FBI, I believe, so I'm sorry if I can't give you credit, Mr.
Man, but I'm saying it's from your book.
My brother taught it to me, and it's this, if someone says to you something like, "So,
I took my dog for a walk, and it was dark at night."
You go, "Yeah, so it was dark at night."
And they go, "Okay", and then they would say something else, and you just repeat the last
few words.
It's an interesting thing, because I said we're dealing with problems, and the problems
with communication, right?
If you notice this, that someone's not saying you'll get compensated, or someone's interrupting
you, these are issues of communication, and you have to communicate.
This is a way in which you let people know that you're actually listening to them.
And you might go, "So what, yeah, I'm listening to them."
No, no, no, no, most of us don't actually listen, we wait for our turn to speak.
In this particular thing, you're saying what you have to say is very important, so I'm
paying attention, so much so that I repeat back what you said to let you know that I'm
still following along.
This is one of the best ways you can do to build a relationship, especially when you're
working in a company, that people know that you listen, and that they will take what you
have to say seriously, because you do listen to what they're saying, you respect what they
have to say.
It doesn't mean you always agree, but it does mean you respect them enough to pay attention.
Very powerful, just repeat the last two or three words, and you don't have to repeat
everything they say.
"So, you took the dog for a walk, it was dark out, huh?"
I mean, no, that's a little too much, just like, okay, so it was dark out, because maybe
that's going to lead to the importance of taking the dog out, that it was night and
something happened, but they know you're following, and they'll continue, and you just keep going
on that stream, you'll find that you will start having a reputation as someone who's
a good listener, someone people should speak to.
Okay, cool.
So, that's your bonus.
It's a little thing, because I've done one other video like this, and I try and give
you something that, it might not be something you write down you can do on a test, but to
understand human nature a little bit, because we want to be professional, and one of the
things about being professional is not just being able to do your job and doing it well,
but being able to communicate what you do with others and working well with others.
Otherwise, why would you come here, right?
Okay.
So, next thing, homework.
How I'm going to make you take what I've taught today, that I've taught you today, and bring
it into yourself to make it useful is the following.
First of all, think about where you could use these phrases.
Like, go in your head and think about, maybe you saw a friend and this happened to them,
someone's interrupting, you wanted to help, you didn't know how, now you know how.
Or maybe you've got a meeting and someone's talking to you, and you're like, "Okay, what
do you need from me?"
You can't just say that, it sounds rude.
So you'll say something like, "Okay, is there anything you need from my end or on my end?"
Think about it, because that mental practice will get you to a point that when it actually
happens, you're prepared.
It's like a soldier.
Actually my favourite one is Batman.
When Batman puts on his uniform, right, he doesn't go, "Where are the batarangs?
Robin, can you get the batarangs?
Oh, Jesus, Jesus, I forgot the shark propellant, let's go get that!"
No, man.
That's not how he goes.
But he prepares, he's like, "What do I need for battle?"
And he puts all this stuff together, and boom, he's ready to go.
He puts it on, and it's there.
Everything's...
He's pulling stuff out, right?
This is what you need to do, prepare for your battle.
It's not a battle, but prepare for the communication exchange that's going to be coming in the
future.
And finally, if this has happened to you before, here's what you can do.
Write down the situation that happened and what happened there.
This is a great learning experience for, as I said, our community, where they can look
and go, "Okay."
Because maybe you have something that I'm going to read and go, "Damn, I'm going to
do a lesson on that, because that is very good."
No one's got all the solutions or answers.
It's good when we work together, yeah?
So, perhaps you can write that down, and in doing that, you might say, "Hey, I could have
used one of these instead."
It'll help us think, and this is what's going to get you to actually use it more than me
sometimes writing a quiz out, you know?
It's great for grammar, but writing out a quiz on something that you need to think about.
Cool?
Okay.
Thank you.
Once again...
Oh, before I go, I've got to give it to you.
I'm going to give you my quote, because this is about work, so what I want to do is give
you a quote about work.
And my favourite...
Well, it's not one of my favourites, but it's one of my favourite politicians.
Not really...
Remember I talked about soldiers, and I kind of went from soldiers to Batman?
This guy was a soldier.
His name was Colin Powell.
He was Secretary of State for the United States between, I think it was 2000...
Forgive me if I get it wrong, 2005, 2008, or something like that.
He was also head of the military department in the States, so high guy.
And what he...
High-level guy.
And what he said was, "A dream does not become reality through magic.
It takes sweat, determination, and hard work."
These are work problems you're having, do the hard work, and you'll make that dream
a reality.
Alright?
Anyway.
Thanks, because I always want to say thank you.
It's important because you do come here, and I appreciate that.
But also, to make sure this content comes to you on a regular basis, I would like you
to either subscribe-okay?-there's a little bell there, notification.
Put that on, and put it for all of them so you get everything.
And put like.
That means we know you like this content, and I'll do another one like this.
Cool, cool, right?
Anyway, so that's communication.
You have a wonderful day, and I'll see you soon.