SO I'VE BEEN SITTING IN THIS MULTI MILLION DOLLAR MANSION THAT I LIVE IN
SIPPING SOME EXQUISITE WINE, LOBSTER TAIL FRESH OUT THE KITCHEN.
BUT I'VE BEEN THINKING I AIN'T SATISFIED WITH ALL THE RICHES
THINGS ARE DIFFERENT, I FEEL A PART OF ME IS MISSING.
BECAUSE THERE IS NO INVITATION TO THE GAME OF BEATINGS
THIS IS THE ULTIMATE SLAP IN THE FACE, I'M ANGRERED DEEPLY
THEY CALL ME UP IF THEY NEED A FILLER, THAT'S HOW THEY TREAT ME
THEY ADDED JIGGLYPUFF IN AGAIN, BUT SAID NO WALUIGI.
THEY JUST RELEASED IT, DEFINITELY GOING TO GO BALLISTIC.
BIG MISTAKE, IXNAYING THE SLENDER PURPLE VILLAIN
ALERT CIVILIANS, I LURK IN BUILDINGS, DISTURBING MILLIONS.
I'LL HURT YOUR FEELINGS AND CURSE AT CHILDREN, MY SMIRK IS CHILLING.
THEY UNDERESTIMATED ME FROM THE GETUP.
REMEMBER THEY NEVER THOUGHT I WAS A THREAT WHEN I STEPPED IN MARIO TENNIS.
JUMP IN A SLING POD, TRAVEL SPEED AT THE HIGHEST LEVEL.
BUST THROUGH THE GROUND LIKE A GIANT WORM FROM TREMORS.
JUST LET ME CHUG THE REST OF MY MERLOT, LIMBER UP WITH SOME TAE BOW.
PRACTICE SWING WITH RAQUET, LOOSENING UP MY ELBOW
TIME TO PUT 'EM ON DEATHROW GUESS WHO CONTRONTS ME FIRST
PAC MAN, SO I LAUGHED AND WHACKED HIM BACK TO THE RETRO
WHAT'S YO DEAL WITH WALUIGI?
THEY MADE ME VANISH LIKE I WAS HOUDINI
YOU CAN'T SELECT ME, SO I'LL STEP IN FREELY
THERE'S NOT A SOUL WHO CAN OUT COMPETE ME
WHAT'S YO DEAL WITH WALUIGI?
I WAS A TROPHY NOW I'M TROPHY WINNIN'
I'M MAKING RACKET, CUZ I'LL COME IN SWINGING
THEY TOOK ME OUT CUZ I'M BOUT TO BRING IT
MII GUNNER, YOU GONNA GUN ME DOWN?
MII SWORDFIGHTER, YOU GONNA CUT ME OUT?
PIT, I CONSIDER IT A MYTH THAT YOU CAN BOW AND ARROW A SHOT
I'LL MAKE YOU BLACK OUT LIKE MR. GAME AND WATCH
DONKEY KONG, WHO LET YOU OUT OF YOUR CRATE AT THE ZOO?
BIG FOR NOTHING MONKEY, I'LL TRANQUILIZE YOU JUST WITH MY SHOE.
INCINEROAR, I INSIST THAT YOU SIT BEFORE YOU GET TORCHED
OH HEY, WARIO I LIKE YOU BUT TODAY YOU GET WAR.
THAT'S FOR SURE.
R.O.B ROBO BEAM
WON'T BE EFFECTIVE WHEN I HIT THAT CONTROL ALT DELETE.
EVEN IF ALL OF YOU TEAM, I'M DOWN TO BRAWL AND DEFEAT
I NEVER MADE THE LIST, SO NOW I GOTTA BLOW OFF SOME STEAM
MAN, THIS IS EASY. EASY PEEZY ROBIN SQUEEZY.
NESS WAS LEVITATING SO I LEVELED HIM AND LEFT HIM LEAKING
BOWSER JUNIOR BIT MY ANKLE LIKE A CHUIHUAHUA,
I WAS ABOUT TO SQUASH HIS BODY TIL A SHADOW CAME OVER TOP ME
IT WAS HIS FATHER, BIG BAD BOWSER IN THE FLESH
TRIED TO TAKE ME OUT WITH FIRE FLAMES COMING FROM HIS BREATH.
I SAID HELL NO, YOU TURTLE LIZARD DINOSAUR BITCH.
GAVE HIM A 10 PUNCH AND STOMPED ON HIS DINOSAUR KID.
HE GOT SQUISHED.
RYU, YOU'LL DIE DUDE. KEN, YOU'LL DIE TOO.
STOP LOOKING AT DR. MARIO, HE CANNOT REVIVE YOU.
LUCARIO, I'M SORRY BRO. THE ENERGY IN YOUR AURA LOW-----
HANG ON, DID I JUST GET SPIT ON BY MARIO?
WHAT'S YO DEAL WITH WALUIGI?
THEY MADE ME VANISH LIKE I WAS HOUDINI
YOU CAN'T SELECT ME, SO I'LL STEP IN FREELY
THERE'S NOT A SOUL WHO CAN OUT COMPETE ME
WHAT'S YO DEAL WITH WALUIGI?
I WAS A TROPHY NOW I'M TROPHY WINNIN'
I'M MAKING RACKET, CUZ I'LL COME IN SWINGING
THEY TOOK ME OUT CUZ I'M BOUT TO BRING IT
SEE, I'VE BEEN PUMMELLING PUNY PLAYERS WITH MY PUNCHES OF PURPLE.
I'M A VIOLENT VIOLET VILLAIN WHO IS VILE AND VULGAR
GLOATING IN ALL MY GREATNESS IN THIS GAME I'M A GURU.
WHILE I'M DISTRACTED BY MY EGO THEY BE FORMING A CIRCLE
I SHOULD'VE KNOWN BETTER. BLINDSIDED BY ZELDA.
TRIED TO SORT HER OUT BUT THEN I GOT A SWORD TO THE TEMPLE.
EVERY VERSION OF LINK TRIED TO HURT ME PERMANENTLY.
THEN A MOB OF THESE DAMN ANIMATIONS STARTED MERGING A TEAM
GETTING BOMBARDED WITH CROW BARS BAR BELLS AND ARM BARS.
POKEMON TRAINER WANTED ME TO GET BURNED SO HE CHOSE THAT CHARIZARD.
ARSE CHARRED AND ALL SCARRED BY MEGA MAN. I CHANNELED IN ON MY VENGEANCE
SAID LETS GO AGAIN
JIGGLY PUFF, THINKIN' HE'S TUFF PUT HIM TO SLEEP WITH A KICK IN THE GUT
LITTLE MAC WAS MY PUNCHING BAG CHEWED KIRBY UP LIKE BUBBLEGUM
I MADE THE WII TRAINER DO PUSHUPS MII BRAWLER GOT SHOOK UP
DUCK HUNT GOT DUCK HUNTED THEY DIDN'T DUCK AND GOT COOKED UP.
THEY TRIED TO KEEP ME OUT BUT I BUSTED RIGHT IN
GOT NOTHIN TO LOSE SO I MIGHT AS WELL WIN
BITCH I'M WALUIGI EVERY DAY AND EVERY NIGHT.
YOU KNOW I'M NEVER PLAYING WHEN I'M OUT OF HERE YELLING WAH
YO WHATS YO DEAL WITH WALUIGI?
BITCH I'M WARMING UP LIKE A PRE HEATING OVEN.
CUZ I'VE BEEN BEATING ON THESE TOONS LIKE I'M GOOD AT PERCUSSION.
THERE'S REPERCUSSIONS IF YOU COMING AT THE BOY, NO DISCUSSION.
YOSHI BEEN LOBBING ALL THESE EGGS BUT THEY GET COOKED BY THE DOZEN.
THAT'S OVER EASY SHULK AND SHIEK GOT ME SLASHED
BUT THEN I TOOK OUT MY RACKET QUICKLY TOOK CARE OF THAT
SONIC, I COULDN'T CATCH THAT RODENT WAS FUCKING FAST
WOLF WAS SHOWING THEM FANGS I PUNTED HIM IN HIS PATCH.
JOKER LET OUT A LAUGH WHACKED HIM RIGHT IN HIS MASK
FOX YOU ARE NOT A STAR GET THE GUN AWAY FROM MY CAP.
THE TRIGGER WAS PULLING BACK I SNATCHED IT RIGHT OUT HIS HANDS.
LET FIRE ON ROSALINA AND LUMA AND LUCAS' ASS.
BAYONETTA WHIP LASHED ME PISTOL WHIPPED ME WITH GATS.
GRENINJA TRIED TO WASH ME OUT AND SINK THE SHIP WITH A SPLASH.
DIDDY WENT FUCKIN' APE AND BATTERED ME WITH BANANAS.
SIMON AND RICHTER STUCK ME THOUGHT I WAS NOSFERATU
DON'T LET MY LANKY LOOKING FIGURE DECEIVE YOU
I GOT THAT MUSCLE MASS. I MADE A SHAKE OUT OF PICHU
PROTEIN A HUNDRED GRAMS WITH THOSE ELECTROLYTES
I'M BUZZING UP SO NOW WHO'S NEXT TO FIGHT? I'M FULLY CHARGED
SO YOU CAN STEP UP, IKE.
WE COLLIDED IN EPIC FASHION THE HEAVEN'S CLASHING.
HIS RAGNELL WAS NO MATCH FOR MY HERCULEAN RACKET.
OLIMAR SAW ME PICK EVERY SINGLE ONE OF HIS PIKMIN
AND THEN HE GOT HIS SPACE HELMET KICKED IN.
KING OF THE CROCODILES YOU RULE NO LAND.
BETTER GO AND HIDE I'LL TURN YOUR ASS TO LEATHER BAG.
TELEKINETIC GRASP ON MY THROAT WITH NO OXYGEN.
EDUCATION COMES IN HANDY... BEEN STUDYING BOXING AND
UPPERCUTTED MEWTWO HIS VISION WAS TWO TOO.
PALUTENA WAS TOTALED HER TEMPLE GOT TERMINATED
I'M COO COO FALCO LOMBARDI HIT PHANTASM
MY BACK SPASM'D. I'M WORRIED THAT I'M GOING TO LOSE LOSE.
CLOUD HAD ME LOOKING AT A SKY OF GRAY IF HE PUT THE FINISHING TOUCH ON ME
I'MA DIE TODAY. ROY PULLED OUT THE FIRE BLADE
WITH A SMILE ON HIS FACE. TOLD ME THAT ITS ENDING HERE
RECOMMENDED I SHOULD PRAY. PEACH AND DAISY PUT THE ICING ON THE CAKE
PIKACHU'S ABOUT TO FRY ME LIKE FISH FILET MARTH AND LUCINA WERE READY TO TAKE MY LIFE
AWAY INKLING READY TO SPLATTERSHOT MY FUCKIN' BRAIN
THEN I HEARD A HOLD UP WAIT. IT WAS CHROM WALKING TO ME.
SAID HE WANNA DO THE HONOURS I WON'T SEE ANOTHER DAY.
THEY TRIED TO KEEP ME OUT BUT I BUSTED RIGHT IN
GOT NOTHIN TO LOSE SO I MIGHT AS WELL WIN
BITCH I'M WALUIGI EVERY DAY AND EVERY NIGHT.
YOU KNOW I'M NEVER PLAYING WHEN I'M OUT OF HERE YELLING WAH
YO WHATS YO DEAL WITH WALUIGI?
SO I'VE BEEN LAYING ON THE GROUND, COUPLE SECONDS UNCONSCIOUS.
GOT A BUNCH OF BROKEN BONES, LOTS OF MEDICAL PROBLEMS.
I WAS DESPERATE IN THE MOMENT, SO I WENT WITH THE BOMBING
WHEN IT'S SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST, YOU DON'T HAVE MANY OPTIONS
JUST WALK IT OFF, I AIN'T DONE WITH THE BLOODSHED.
NUFF SAID, THEY LEFT ME OUT THE GAME, I'M
DISGUSTED. THE ONLY WAY TO COPE IS TO CRUSH HEADS
BUT NOW I GOTTA BE CAREFUL CUZ THE DAMAGE THAT I'M ON IS 300.
LET'S START SHIT WITH DARK PIT HIT HIM OUT THE PARK, GIVE CORRIN SOME HARD
HITS KING DE-DE-DE GOT DE-DE-DEMOLISHED
VILLAGER WAS PLANTING SEEDS THEN I PLANTED HIS NOGGIN (YEAH)
LOOKED INTO THE SKY, META KNIGHT WAS OVERHEAD.
TRIED TO SWOOP IN LIKE A HAWK AND TAKE A SWIPE
RIGHT AT MY NECK. CAT-LIKE REFLEX, I'VE GOT THE UPPER HAND BECUZ
HIS BACKS TO ME PLUCKED HIS WINGS OFF AND TURNED THE BITCH
INTO AMPUTEE.
LIKE OH MY GOD, MY FUCKIN' HEAD ALMOST VANISHED.
I LOOK BEHIND ME, THERE SHE IS, CANNON LOADED
BY SAMUS. "WHAT YOU MAD, BITCH?" WELL, AT LEAST YOU'RE
IN THE GAME, I DON'T HAVE SHIT. HER MISSILE GOT DEFLECTED, NOW SHE'S GONE
LIKE SOME MAGIC.
THAT'S IT.. OH ITS THE CAPTAIN FALCON. HE TRIED THE FLAMING KICKS AND PUNCHES, THEY
WERE RAPID BUT I CAN STICK AND MOVE.. MARTIAL ARTIST
CHAMPION THE BOTTOM OF THE SHOE PUT HIM TO SLEEP LIKE
SOME AMBIEN.
BUT THEN I GOT THIS WEIRD FEELING LIKE SOMEBODY WAS WATCHING ME
T'WAS THE ODDEST THING, I'M GOING WITH MY GUT, SO THERE'S GOTTA BE.
I TURN AROUND AND SEE A LITTLE BOX RIGHT BESIDE OF ME
IT AIN'T NOTHING, TILL A DAMN SNAKE CAME RIGHT OUT OF IT
WHOA!
SO, WHAT YOU FIGHTING FOR? FOR MY LEGACY, REVENGE AND MY PRIDE AND MORE
MY WHOLE LIFE BEEN DISRESPECTED SO AFTER THIS, YOU WON'T FORGET HIM
I GUESS YOU NEVER GOT THE MESSAGE SO WALUIGI MADE AN ENTRANCE
MY ENEMIES GOT A DEATHWISH (YEAH, WHAT) IT'S WALUIGI'S ARMAGGEDDON
ONE BY ONE I'M TAKING OUT THE TRASH, I'M A SCRAPPER
SINGLE HANDEDLY HANDING EVERYONE'S ASS ON A PLATTER
PISSING ON ALL OF MY FOES, LIKE I HAD A FULL BLADDER.
I'M TAKING OVER SUPER SMASH, ITS ONLY ONE THING MATTERS
JUST FELT A TAP ON MY SHOULDER, BEHOLD IT'S GANONDORF
IF HE'S THE DEMON KING, THEN I'M A DAMN TYRANNASAURUS.
TRIED FOR THE FLAME PUNCH, SOMEHOW HIS AIM SUCKED, HIT THE PAVEMENT
STRANGLED HIM WITH HIS CAPE TIL ALL THE AIR LEFT HIS PAIR OF LUNGS
TELL ME THAT IS NOT THE PERSON THAT I SEE.
RIDING DIRTY, DRAGON STYLE ON THE BACKSIDE OF RIDLEY
GREEN IMPOSTER, 24-7 RIVAL, THAT'S THAT WANNA BE.
DARE I SAY YOUR NAME, I'LL GO INSANE AND KILL YOU LUIGI!
THEY FLEW IN CLOSER, THEIR SOLE INTENTION IS JUST TO ROAST ME.
BREATHING FIRE, MY FACIAL HAIR IS SIZZLED AND SMOKING
SO I PROVOKED HIM, SHOVED MY RAQUET DEEP DOWN HIS THROAT
PUT HIM RIGHT IN A COMATOSE, NO SIGN OF ANY MOTION.
LUIGI LOOKED AT ME WITH EYES REDDER THAN THE DEVIL.
ONE OF US WILL HAVE TO DIE BEFORE THE WAR CAN SETTLE
THIS SHIT IS MONUMENTAL, LUIGI TOOK A SHROOM AND THEN INJESTED
GOT JACKED, LUIGI SCHWARRZENEGGER
HE GRABBED A HOLD OF ME, STRONGEST GRIP ON ME TOTALLY
SLIP THROUGH THE CRACKS OF HIS FINGERS, I GOT LUCKY LIKE CLOVERLEAF
DODGING HANDS OF A GIANT, STAY ALIVE I'VE BEEN TRYING.
TIME IS TICKING, I'M BOUT TO CONSIST OF LUIGI'S DIET.
I'M IN NEED OF A MIRACLE. I'M CORNERED, MY BACKS TO WALL.
HE'S CLOSING IN, BUT SOMETHING'S SHINING RIGHT UNDER THAT CORPSE, ITS A STAR!
THE SITUATIONS SO MYTHICAL, KICKED THE BODY OUT THE WAY,
SNAGGED IT NOW I'M INVINCIBLE
LUIGI LEAPED FORWARD WITH A LOOK IN HIS EYES, HIS PURPOSE IS TO EAT ME ALIVE, JAWS OPEN
WIDE I DOVE RIGHT INSIDE, BUT I'M BONAFIDE, YEAH!
SO I BURSTED THROUGH HIS STERNUM LIKE SOME PURPLISH DYNAMITE
WHAT YOU FIGHTING FOR? FOR MY LEGACY, REVENGE AND MY PRIDE AND MORE
MY WHOLE LIFE BEEN DISRESPECTED SO AFTER THIS, YOU WON'T FORGET HIM
I GUESS YOU NEVER GOT THE MESSAGE SO WALUIGI MADE AN ENTRANCE
MY ENEMIES GOT A DEATHWISH (YEAH, WHAT) IT'S WALUIGI'S ARMAGGEDDON