I suffered with mental health problems my whole life but I didn't know what it was.
Because I never had no education on the matter.
I felt as I have nothing, I felt there was an empty gaping hole.
I didn't have the desire, the fire wasn't burning no longer to fight.
And I was suffering with depression the whole time even in training camp.
I was depressed, as depressed could be on a daily basis.
I hit the drink, heavily, on a daily basis.
I hit the drugs.
I was out all night partying with the women of the night and not coming home.
I didn't care about boxing and I didn't care about living I just wanted to die.
I used to drink and take drugs to get away from the depression because when I was drunk or high.
Then I wouldn't think about being depressed. I thought about being a boxing champion or I feel great.
But as we know when the drink wears off...
It only leaves you with a bad hangover and а feeling even more depressed.
For someone who suffers from mental health the worsest thing you can do to escape is
take drugs or alcohol.
And this is why I want to spread the word on mental health.
So when other people are in this position in the future they know where to go and they know what to do.
Because there is a blueprint.
I was weighting at 400 pounds.
A drug addict. An alcoholic.
And I start thinking all these crazy thoughts and these stuff and the other.
And I was in my car. I bought a brand new Ferrari.
I didn't care about nothing I just wanted to die so bad.
I give up on life.
And just as I was carried towards that bridge at 190 mph in this Ferrari.
I heard a voice..
Say: "No! Don't do this, Tyson!
Think about your kids."
Think about your family and your all boys and girls growing up with no father.
And everyone saying: "Your dad was a weak man."
And I pulled over and I was so nervous and didn't know what to do I was frightened.
And I was so affraid.
And I thought that day, I'll never ever, ever try or think about
taking my own life ever again.
And after that I was thinking to myself: "I need to get better, I need to do something."
But everytime I tried to go to the gym I heard another voice saying:
"Nah! This ain't follows anymore. I'm not gonna do this."
I was out drinking...
I didn't care... I give up...
Taking drugs like I said. And it come to a point where
I was doing that for 18 months in my life.
And I was out 2017. Halloween.
I was a 400 pounds, dressed up as a skeleton.
And I go to this fancy dress party and I'm looking around and I'm thinking...
These are all young kids compare to me. I'm 30, I feel like I was the oldest guy in there.
Like 29... I was like: "What am I doing here?"
This is what you want for your life?
And I thought to myself: "This is not me."
And no matter how many people told me before this.
Where I was going wrong, What was I doing. You need to act in your life.
You can only change your life if you want to change it.
And I got back home, I didn't say anything to the wife. I went straight upstairs into a dark room.
And I took the stupid skeleton suit off.
And I was sat there.
And I got on my knees and I was praying and begging God to help me.
And at this point I never begged or cry to God to help me before.
I prayed a lot all my life. But I've never been in this physical state before.
I can feel tears running down my face. My chest was wet with tears.
Cause I knew I coudn't do on my own. It was impossible for me.
Cause I tried, and tried, and tried. And ended up back in the pub, back drinking.
After praying for about 10 minutes... I got up.
And I felt the weight of the world was lifted off my shoulders.
And for the first time in years, I knew I was gonna make a comeback.
And I called my wife I said: "Paris, Paris!"
She said: "What?" She thought I was drunk coming home from the pub.
I said: "Monday morning, I start to regain mission to try and get the heavyweight championship of the world back."
"That night you told that me - she said - I heard a difference in your voice."
And I said: "I don't wanna go back downhill route with the same trainer, same promoter, same anything."
I said: "Everything is gonna change. It's gonna be a new Tyson Fury."
And as I went out that morning, after phoning Ben and arranging everything.
I went out for a run in my sweatsuit and I had ambitions of running 2 miles.
I've got about 5 minutes instant run and stopped.
I thought I can't run, I'm too fat ... 400 pounds.
But if I'm gonna walk I'm gonna get out and walk.
I think the way to beat mental health is setting goals. Giving your self short-term and long-term goals.
And that's what I did. I give myself a goal of losing the weight.
Pound by pound basically.
And I was training twice a day. 6-7 days a week.
I don't suffer with mental health when I'm active. And when I've got a goal.
If you suffer from mental health problems you tend to suffer them when you are on your own.
When you've got a lot of time to think. And when you are not doing much.
But when you're busy on a daily basis you don't have enough time to think about mental health.
I didn't use medication.
I was prescribed with medication from the doctor but I refused to take it.
My grandfather, my dad's dad, he was addicted to pills his whole life.
Pills that even didn't do anything for him it was placebo pills.
And the biggest thing we are missing here is
I didn't do what the doctors told me, all their types of things.
I think it was something way more powerful.
God.
My faith and belief that God will make me better - made me better.
And I never ever went back to that from this day to that and it's been moreover 12 months.
I believe I was being tested to see what type of man I was.
What type of characted I got.
Even before the depression I didn't appreciate things.
Nothing! Nothing was valuable to me.
Even something I worked hard for.
I believe I was put down this road and I had to suffer all these things so I could understand.
When I had things good.
I think I've got a bigger purpose now than boxing.
I think my calling card in life is to spread the word on this disease, this silent killer.
My message would be:
"Look around yourself. Be thankful for what you do have today.
Don't look for what you don't have."
You know... You gotta be happy with who you are.
A wise man once said:
"You've got to know yourself before you can know anybody else."
Contentment is the word we are looking for.
Contentment doesn't come from material stuff - jobs, positions, fame, glory, money, anything.
You will never find contentment while you are chasing that type of stuff.
And I don't look at this as a comeback because I'm not coming back to what I once was.
The legacy of Tyson Fury from a child to be a heavyweight champion of world
and achieving his dreams, that book has been closed.
This book is a new book and I'm only on Chapter III.