WELCOME BACK, FOLKS.
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN MY NEXT GUEST IS A COMEDIAN YOU KNOW
FROM SHOWS LIKE "BROAD CITY" AND "THE ERIC ANDRE SHOW."
YOU CAN SEE HIM IN THE NEW "BAYWATCH" MOVIE.
>> I SAW YOUR NAME ON THE BOARD.
>> SAY SOMETHING.
>> I KIND OF FEEL LIKE THIS IS YOUR YEAR.
>> ( MUMBLING ).
>> STOP THAT.
>> OKAY, WELL, I'LL SEE YOU AT TRY-OUTS.
>> ALL RIGHT, C.J.
THAT WAS AMAZING TO WATCH.
SHE CAME UP TO YOU.
SHE WAS VERY NICE AND WARM, AND YOU HANDLED IT REALLY SMOOTHLY.
>> REALLY?
>> NO, THAT WAS AWKWARD.
IT WAS HORRIBLE.
DID YOU HAVE A STROKE?
IT FELT LIKE YOU HAD A STROKE.
>> Stephen: PLEASE WELCOME HANNIBAL BURESS.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> WHAT'S UP, MAN?
>> Stephen: NOW, YOU'RE USED TO BEING ON A TALK SHOW BECAUSE
YOU'RE ON THE "THE ERIC ANDRE SHOW."
YOU'RE A SIDEKICK.
IS THAT THE RIGHT WORD FOR IT, "SIDE KICK."
>> IF YOU CAN CALL THAT A TALK SHOW.
>> Stephen: I ENJOY IT.
I ENJOY IT.
A LOT OF THINGS HAPPEN ON THAT SHOW THAT ARE COMPLETELY
UNEXPECTED FOR THE GUEST.
>> SURE.
>> Stephen: ARE YOU EVER, AS ONE OF THE CAST MEMBERS OF THAT
SHOW, ARE YOU EVER ALSO SURPRISED BY WHAT, SAY, COMES
OUT OF HIS COFFEE MUG OR WHAT HE'S WILLING TO EAT?
>> ONE TIME, THERE WAS AN EPISODE WHERE I HOSTED THE SHOW.
AND I WAS INTERVIEWING NICK CANNON AND I WAS ASKING VERY
IN-DEPTH QUESTIONS ABOUT HIS COLLABORATION WITH ARTICLEY.
DO YOU KNOW THE SONG "GIGOLO."
>> Stephen: NO.
>> CHECK IT OUT ON SPOTIFY.
THEN A WHITE MAN WITH HIS PENIS OUT WALKS OUT AND SAYS HE'S MY
FATHER.
>> Stephen: IN THE MIDDLE OF THE INTERVIEW.
>> IN THE MIDDLE OF THE INTERVIEW.
>> Stephen: UH-HUH.
>> I HANDLED IT WELL.
>> Stephen: YEAH.
>> I WAS LIKE, "GET OUT OF HERE, DAD!
I'M TALKING TO-- GET OUT OF HERE!"
>> Stephen: THAT'S GOOD.
>> I'M TALKING TO NICK CANNON.
"NOW, WHAT WERE YOU SAYING ABOUT THE SONG 'GIGOLO'."
>> Stephen: WHERE WAS ERIC?
>> HE WAS OUT IN A NECK BRACE.
HE WAS INJURED.
UH-HUH.
( LAUGHTER ) GLI LOVE THAT SHOW.
>> I STILL HAVE A TAG ON THIS JACKET.
>> Stephen: I CAN HELP YOU?
>> I DIDN'T TAKE THE TAG OFF.
I'M TAKING IT BACK TOMORROW.
I JUST BOUGHT THIS FOR YOUR SHOW.
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
>> Stephen: THAT'S-- >> PUT IT BACK IN.
>> Stephen: THAT'S X"L."
THAT'S AN XL.
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: $425.
>> THAT'S TOO MUCH MONEY FOR A JACKET.
>> Stephen: OH!
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE ).
>> Stephen: HOLD ON!
>> YUP, WELL -- >> Stephen: HANNIBAL I'M YOUR
FATHER.
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
YOU ALL RIGHT?
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: I DIDN'T JUST BUY THAT JACKET, DID I?
DIJUST BUY THAT JACKET?
>> CAN I BORROW $425.
>> Stephen: YOU BET.
YOU'RE FROM CHICAGO, RIGHT?
>> I'M FROM CHICAGO.
>> Stephen: I LIVED IN CHICAGO FOR A LONG TIME.
YOU'RE MOVING BACK I UNDERSTAND.
>> I MOVED BACK TO CHICAGO.
>> Stephen: I'M JEALOUS.
I LIVED THERE FOR 11 YEARS.
I LOVED IT.
HOW ARE YOU-- I DON'T THINK I COULD DO THIS SHOW THERE,
THOUGH.
WHY ARE YOU MOVING BACK?
>> I MOVED BACK-- LESS FAMOUS PEOPLE FOR COMPETITION.
( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: SO WHEN YOU'RE IN
CHICAGO-- >> YEAH.
>> Stephen: YOU'RE A BIGGER FISH.
>> EXPLZ NEW YORK, THEY'VE GOT EVERYBODY THERE.
CHICAGO, FOOTBALL PLAYERS HAVE HELMETS SO THEY'RE NOT FAMOUS.
BASEBALL PLAYERS HAVE 200 GAMES, SO THEY'RE BUSY.
SO, BASICALLY, IT'S LIKE ME AND JOHN CUSACK.
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE ).
>> Stephen: YOU'RE THE TWO FAMOUS PEOPLE IN CHICAGO RIGHT
NOW WHILE CHANCE IT ON TOUR.
>> AND WE RUN THE TOWN.
YEAH.
>> Stephen: ALL RIGHT.
WELL, YOU STARTED YOUR OWN BUSINESS IN CHICAGO, I
UNDERSTAND.
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: WHAT IS THIS THIS BUSINESS?
>> IT'S NOT MY OWN-- IT'S NOT A UNIQUE BUSINESS MODEL.
I BOUGHT A BUILDING AND I PUT UNITS ON AIRBNB.
BECAUSE, FOR ONE, I DON'T LIKE JELLING WITH PEOPLE LONG TERM.
>> Stephen: YOU BASICALLY START AID HOTEL.
>> YEAH, YEAH YEAH.
>> Stephen: AND TROUBLE?
I HAVE NEVER RENTED MY HOUSE ON AIRBNB.
WAS IT ALL COOL?
>> IT'S BEEN-- IT'S BEEN OKAY.
WELL, ONE TIME SOMEBODY WAS THROWING A PARTY, AND I-- I WAS
OUT OF TOWN.
SO I GET A MESSAGE FROM THE FIRST FLOOR PERSON THAT SAID,
"HEY, THEY'RE THROWING A PARTY ON THE THIRD FLOOR.
YOU NEED TO SHUT THIS DOWN."
BECAUSE THE FIRST FLOOR PERSON LEFT TO GO GET SOME FOOD AND HE
CAME BACK TO THE BUILDING, AND THERE WAS A BOUNCER OUTSIDE.
( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: IT WAS THAT BIG OF
A PARTY THAT HE HAD HIS OWN BOUNCER.
>> THIS PERSON TOOK OWNERSHIP OF THE BUILDING.
AND THEY ENDED UP STEALING MY TV, TWO PAINTINGS, AND THEY
STOLE THE KNIVES AND THE KNIFE BLOCK WHICH, I GUESS, IT HURT MY
FEELINGS AT FIRST THAT THEY TOOK THE KNIFE BLOCK, BUT I GUESS YOU
CAN'T WALK AROUND WITH LOOSE KNIVES.
YOU CAN'T JUST HAVE KNIVES.
>> Stephen: THAT MAKES SENSE.
YOU WERE OUT OF TOWN.
YOU COULDN'T HELP TO GO SHUT IT DOWN.
>> I COULDN'T HELP.
>> Stephen: DID YOU SAY, "CALL JOHN CUSACK WHILE I'M OUT OF
TOWN.
HE'S IN CHARGE OF CHICAGO."
>> I ACTUALLY HAD A FRIEND GO BY THERE, BUT HE DIDN'T WANT TO
YELL AT ANYBODY IN THE PARTY BECAUSE HE GOT SCARED BECAUSE
THEY WERE BLACK.
I FACE-TIMED HIM AND I WAS YELLING, "EVERYBODY GET OUT OF
THE PARTY RIGHT NOW!" >> Stephen: ON FACEBOOK TIME.
>> I JUST ANNOYED MY NEIGHBORS HERE.
Y DIDN'T THINK THIS THROUGH.
( LAUGHTER ).
>> Stephen: WHEN YOU LIVED-- YOU LIVED IN CHICAGO YOUR WHOLE
LIFE OR DID YOU START OFF YOUR COMEDY CAREER IN CHICAGO?
>> I LIVED IN CHICAGO MY WHOLE LIFE, GREW UP.
>> Stephen: WHAT DID DO YOU WHEN YOU WERE FIRST TRYING TO
MAKE IT IN THE CLUBS.
WHAT WERE YOU DOING TO PAY-- I LIKE TO HEAR WHAT PEOPLE DID TO
MAKE THE RENT?
>> I USED TO DO DOOR-TO-DOOR SALES.
>> Stephen: WHAT KINDS OF THINGS--
>> I USED TO SELL SPA SUBSCRIPTIONS AND WHIES SOX
TICKET S.
>> Stephen: SPA SUBSCRIPTIONS AND WHITE SOX TICKETS?
>> IT WAS A TERRIBLE COMPANY.
>> Stephen: I OPEN THE DOOR AND GIVE ME YOUR SELL ON THE
SPA-- "HI!" >> HERE'S WHAT THEY TAUGHT ME.
YOU WOULD HAVE A PAMPHLET YOU WOULD HAND TO PEOPLE.
>> Stephen: I OPEN THE DOOR.
>> SO THEY SAID A BIG PART OF GETTING THE SALE WAS GET INTO
SOMEBODY'S HAND.
THEY SAID IF YOU WANT TO PUT IT IN A WOMAN'S HANDS, PUT IT
TOWARDS HER BREASTS BECAUSE SHE'LL PROTECT HER BREASTS LIKE
THAT ( LAUGHTER ).
>> Stephen: WHAT ABOUT A GUY?
>> AND THEY SAID IF YOU WANT TO GET A GUY TO HOLD IT, PUT IT
TOWARDS HIS PENIS-- "WHAT ARE YOU SELLING?"
>> Stephen: GOOD TO KNOW, KIDS.
GOOD TO KNOW.
SO YOU HAVE A FALLBACK POSITION OUT THERE.
ANYWAY, CONGRATULATIONS ON MOVING BACK TO CHICAGO.
>> THANK YOU, MAN.
>> Stephen: I'M JEALOUS.
"BAYWATCH" OPENS TOMORROW, RIGHT.
>> TOMORROW.
>> Stephen: HANNIBAL BURESS, EVERYBODY.