I do not trust you.
Hostile.
- Very hostile. - Yeah.
Scary.
- Randall? - Yeah.
“In the show, Fresh Off the Boat, you played the owner
of a western steak house called Cattleman's Ranch.
Yeah.
So, cattleman,
how do you like your steak?”
I like, I like a little pink in the middle.
Just a little bit?
- Not bloody? - I don't want to see blood.
Yeah, I know you like, like a plate full of blood.
Yeah. Is that weird?
“Your character is dealing with an angry young daughter.”
Mhm.
“I get angry, too.”
Awe.
“Sometimes I'm so angry I think I might do something crazy.
Lol, jk.
My question is,
how did you rebel as a teen?”
Ooh!
I just lied a lot.
- Mmm. - Yeah.
Sorry, Mom and Dad.
- Randall? - Yes.
“While volunteering at UCLA,
you earned the nickname...”
is this true? “Caremoose.”
Yes, yes.
- It's a long story - That’s adorable.
behind that name.
“What is your favorite thing about mooses?”
About mooses?
I know nothing about mooses.
I don't even know if that's what you say.
Is it “mooses?”
“Mooses?”
Feels like it would be...
“Mice?”
I think the plural of “moose” is “mice.”
- Yeah. - Yeah.
That's probably my favorite thing about mooses.
“Melissa, you played the badass
Amy Santiago in Brooklyn Nine-Nine.
I heard that you kept your character's name tag from set.
Where did you stash it?”
It's in like a little storage-y kind of closet.
Maybe one day I'll do something cooler with it.
- Little museum? - Yeah,
to me.
That's the dream.
- Randall? - Yeah?
“You went to Hamilton High School.
- I did. - So did Fiona Apple.
Oh, really?
- I didn’t know that. - “There are
7500 varieties of apples...”
That’s not where I thought this was going.
“Which is the most delicious,”
Ooh, “And which is trash?”
I think that my favorite is the Honeycrisp.
- Yes. - Right?
Absolutely.
The most trash apple.
The Granny Smith probably.
Oh, yeah?
Granny is trash.
“Melissa, I heard that when you were a teenager,
you saw your husband in a Mariah Carey music video,
and developed an instant crush...”
This is the craziest story to me.
“but didn't recognize him when you met years later
on the set of One Life to Live.
Besides your husband,
who else was a childhood crush?
It's okay. I won't tell your husband.”
I do not trust you.
You absolutely will tell him.
Let's see,
who were my other childhood crushes?
Jared Leto.
My So-Called Life, Jared Leto.
What about House of Gucci, Jared Leto?
- Specifically that character? - Mmhmm.
You know what?
- Yeah. - Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah. He can still get it.
- Randall? - Yes.
“I see you are not on social media.
What is it like having good mental health?”
It really is bliss.
It takes a lot of time out of your life.
I personally use that time,
to spread joy, spread love and joy
- all around the world. - No you don’t.
- No, I— – You just scroll other things
- Yeah, yeah, that's true. - on your phone.
That's true.
I mean, we're all addicted to the phone.
Thank you for saying that.
Yeah, and we're all gonna die.
All right, this was fun.
Watch Blockbuster,
only on Netflix.