You suck at cooking, yeah you totally suck
Behold. Cauliflower Mac & Cheese.
But it's more like "'Mac' & Cheese", because we're substituting the macaroni for cauliflower.
Don't @ me.
To make sure you don't confuse cauliflower
with collie flower
or colic-y flower.
Noobody wants to eat that.
Keep in mind that cauliflower and macaroni are almost the same thing.
They're both light in color,
They're both good for your teeth
*crunch*
And they both grow in the wild.
But most importantly, they're both part of the important food group.
CHEESE DELIVERY SYSTEMS
Which includes crackers, broccoli
And your finger.
*lip smacking*
Daaamn that's a good finger.
We're gonna use one large head of fresh cauliflower
Or you can use up to 12 cauliflower bricks.
We're going to use the power of finger strength
to break these into bite sized pieces
and remove the bones unless you prefer "bone in" Mac and Cheese
Then we'll colendries and pat and dry. Add in three tablespoons of olive oil
Some salt and pepper pepper pepper
Then we're going to take a conscious step away from our wanjangling addiction
And use this as an opportunity to perfect the toss
♫ The toss is a handy little piece of physics that harnesses the power of gravity ♫
♫ To get all the olive oil into the crooks and the crannies of the cauliflower, yeehaw! ♫
You can also throw the cauliflower on spin cycle
If you don't want the hassle of dismantling fresh cauliflower, you can use frozen cauliflower
Also known as "ro-kcaulflower"
It'll turn out more mushy but will still excel at delivering cheese sauce to the body system
Remember that It has a whole different set of acoustics that aren't any worse
♫ Or better, it just sounds like rocks ♫
♫ but cha gotta be careful when you throw it in the pot♫
♫ But cha not gonna throw it in a pot cause we don't boil Cauliflower♫
♫ NO ♫
And remember if you're making this for a fussy baby, the cauliflower bones can be easily be chopped into noodle shapes if you want to waste an absolute f**k ton of time
Now we're gonna take a parchement paper coated pan and slide our cauliflower on randomly so it tastes unpredictable
and keep in mind your ABV's
Always
Bake
Vegetables
And your EWB's
Except
When
Boiling
WVR...
Which should be
Very
Rarely
LSP...
Like
Sometimes
Potatoes
Alight I'll STFU
Start
The
Friggin
Undoh
On 420-fundo (425)
Now remember, white tastes boring and brown tastes good,
so we'll bake these until they start to brown.
Now let's get to work on that cheese sauce.
You're gonna need a cup of milk, four teaspoons of flour,
five ounces (or 150 grams) of shredded medium cheddar
(remember, M stands for Maximum Meltitude),
two teaspoons of sriracha, and around 57 chives.
I also added in a half-teaspoon of salt.
Now you want to chop these chives up finely.
Some people worry about the word "chives" having the word "hives" in it,
but it also rhymes with "high fives", so let's not be negative, you pessimistic son of a-
Which saucepan should you use? Doesn't really matter.
Alright, let's check on the cauliflower...
We're gonna wrassle these up and bake them a little bit browner.
(echoing) Be not afraid.
Get that cup of milk in and heat it up to medium,
and whisk in that flour.
Now work in those chive-y particles, add in the sriracha or other hot sauce, and the salt.
Now wangjangle while bringing it up to a boil, and make sure to block the view with your hand.
We'll remove it from the heat, and then sprinkle in and combine that cheddar.
Or you can keep it on the heat and watch as the cheese becomes an irredeemable glob of gloop inside a pot of steaming milk.
Your cheese sauce, your life.
By the way, when that cheese sauce cools and thickens,
it makes excellent savory frosting.
(windchimes) Now our cauliflower has gone through a butterfly-like transformation into something beautifully delicious,
and you have a choice here.
You can plate the cauliflower and then drizzle,
or just give it a ride down the parchment paper express and combine it in the pot.
Keep in mind that what you're doing when you make cauliflower mac and cheese,
is tricking yourself into eating vegetables.
Just like the olden days, when vegetables used to be disguised as fish.
♫ Cauliflower mac and cheese, ♫
♫ more like "mac yes please" ♫
♫ Please, can I squeeze in anymore ♫
♫ cauliflower mac and cheeeeeeese. ♫
This video is sponsored by Hello Fresh.
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I have no idea what this is.
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