{Intro Music}
Teal: Hello there!
Do me a favour!
I want you to close your eyes.
With your eyes closed, I want you to think back to your childhood.
Specifically, I want you to think back upon being emotional
in your childhood.
Just scan the your childhood for those times when you might have been mad or sad
Or Angry
Or Afraid
Or Excited or Happy!
How did the people around you react?
When you're done with that,
I want you to think about how other people
dealt with their emotions when they were feeling those strong emotions.
How did the adults around you deal with their emotions? How did the people react to them?
What did emotions mean in the family or culture or society you grew up in?
What were you told or indirectly taught was the best way to handle your emotions?
What emotional control strategies did the people around you use?
Mentally review each emotion.
Which ones were good? Which ones were bad?
Which ones were acceptable ? Which ones were unacceptable?
I want you to think about your relationship to each emotion.
And where you learned that relationship from?
What does each emotion mean to you?
Look at your life today!
What ideas or control strategies are you still using that are a perfect reflection
of the way you were subconsciously programmed to deal with the emotion growing up
I want you to watch my video on YouTube titled
Meaning: The Self Destruct Button!
And while you are watching that video,
I want you to think about how that video,
or that concept presented in that video
applies directly to emotion.
What did you decide that each emotion meant?
It's normal to wanna feel good.
The basic survival instinct is to shy away from pain and go towards pleasure.
This is not in and of itself a problem.
This instinct in and of itself does not cause suffering.
Suffering is caused when instead of going towards pleasure, we resist the pain.
And this is what we have done with emotion.
I want you to imagine that at the back of your head there's a little switch
a bit like a light switch
but this is a control switch.
Instead of going light or dark, what it does is good or bad!
Anytime you encounter something that your mind has judged as bad because you have learned,
because of past experience or from other people that it's bad,
that switch turns On!
And when it turns on, it activates your fight or flight mode!
If you perceive something as bad, you perceive it as a threat.
So, you react to it on a physiological level the same way you would react to
say, a snake or a charging bull!
You either try to escape or fight with that thing.
Escaping from something and/or fighting with something is an attempt to control that thing.
yourself or the course of the events that follow.
Now, why am I bringing this up?
Bringing it up because you have judges certain emotions as Bad,
Or Good.
What that means is the second that you encounter that emotion you feel within you or encounter in another person,
it flips that switch n your mind.
BAD!
And immediately you go to work trying to control that emotion.
You try to fight with it or you try to escape from it.
The thought we think
about the emotion we are having causes to immediately add emotion to emotion.
and this is like adding kerosene to a fire that's already blazing!
No matter what we do to feel better, nothing works!
For example, let's say that growing up when you expressed anxiety
your parent, turned to you in an exasperated manner,
said, "Stop being such a freaky cat. There's no reason to act like that! Come on now!"
You would have gotten the message that anxiety is bad and perhaps
that if you feel it but your parents were right there's no reason to feel that way and yet you feel that way
there must be something wrong with you.
In future, if you feel anxious, your control switch is turned on because you have been conditioned to see anxiety as bad.
You will start to fear yourself because you will feel like there's something wrong with you
and therefore you will feel anxious about feeling anxious.
This is how to know
that your control switch
relative to emotions is turned on!
You will start to feel bad about feeling bad!
It will essentially be a secondary emotion.
For example,
You will anxious about feeling anxious.
or angry about feeling angry.
Or angry about feeling anxious.
Or sad about feeling happy!
When this emotional control switch is turned on,
because you have decided that a certain emotion is bad as well,
it will instantly trigger
this
tendency within you to control that emotion with any of the control strategies that you have learned during the course of your life.
Drinking alcohol,
Reading a book
going running
eating
shooting up heroin
distracting yourself
obsessively writing affirmations
posstively focussing
arguing or contradicting your negative thoughts
All of which are an attempt to make the emotion go away because you have judged it as bad.
This is why it so often does not work to positively focus your negative emotion away.
Control, by definition, is resistance!
And so the minute the positive focus becomes a tool of controlling emotion
It becomes a tool of resistance instead of allowing or deliberate creation.
It isn't helpful to judge your emotions as negative.
For more information on how to deal with negative emotions,
I want you to watch my YouTube video that is titled:
"Emotional Wake Up Call."
And before you go ahead and assume we only have this control switch activated when we feel negative emotion
it's really important that you understand that a positive emotion can activate that within us as well.
Even though we tend to be more accepting of positive emotion
It is more than possible to be conditioned against positive emotion.
For more information on that,
Watch my YouTube video that's titled:
"When happiness is a bad thing"
The more your parents and caregivers needed to maintain control over how they felt and therefore control over how you felt
the more resistant they were to all emotions both good and bad
The time has come for us to become aware of when this emotional control switch goes off within our minds.
It's important for us to actually recognize
When we are struggling against the emotion
And that is in fact why we are struck
in the emotion that we can't get free of.
If we have our control switch turned on
towards an emotion that we have deemed bad
then what's gonna happen is
the more we try to get out of it
the more stuck we gonna get in it.
It's a bit like quick sand.
The more you struggle against that negative emotion
More stuck you gonna get
If we are in a situation where we feel like nothing ever works and like we never feel better no matter how hard we try
it is because we are approaching our life from that very angle
that we must feel better because negative "emotion is not okay",
"anxiety is not okay",
"anger is not okay"
"sadness is not okay"
"grief is not okay"
The way we feel
is bad and it has to change
We think thought like,
What have I done to deserve this?
And what is wrong with me?
I wish I didn't feel like this?
Or, " I can't handle this!"
Why Am I like this?
or the very worst
I shouldn't feel like this.
When you feel this emotional control switch go on
It's really important to find ways to turn it off again.
So that you are not
in resistance
to that emotion.
That means
find ways to accept and allow
that particular emotion you are having resistance towards.
Question the idea that this emotion is bad or good.
Ask yourself, "What Am I making this emotion mean?"
and then go to work dismantling that meaning.
Thoughts and emotions don't cause us suffering.
Its believing them that causes us to suffer.
If you have judges the emotion as bad, get outside the box trying to find the approval for it.
Why is that emotion good?
What is this emotion trying to tell me?
What is it asking me to differently, or to change about my life?
Allow yourself to go back in the time when you were programmed against this emotion.
And undo that trauma.
To learn how to do this process, I want you to watch my video on YouTube titled:
"How to heal emotional body?"
So when you are feeling that emotion, that strong emotion
where you don't only feel anxious, you feel anxious about feeling anxious
or like shame for feeling anxious,
I want you to go into that shame for feeling anxious feeling
and use that to connect
to the point in time that you were taught that emotion is bad
or there's something bad about you for feeling that emotion
And that's when I want you to apply to this process
If you want additional information about how to release resistance to your negative emotion
I urge you to take a look at the video on YouTube that I did that's titled:
"Positively embrace your negative emotions."
Painful emotions only become chronic.
By chronic, I mean
No matter what I do to try to feel better nothing ever works to improve the situation.
When our control switch is turned on
that means we are in resistance to the emotion itself
and it's no longer the emotion itself that is causing the pain
it's our resistance to it.
That is the differenve between Pain and suffering.
So
It's really important to become aware of this control switch within us
and to do anyhting that we can to switch it off.
So,
Is your control switch turned on?
Have a good week!
{Music}