on the second day of Christmas my true
love gave to me apart absolutely awful
guy dismal intolerable a basic and low
intellect more Edition YouTuber
put it on my gravestone a basic and low
intellect British YouTuber no sentence
has summarized me better than that so it
turns out a lot of people on Amazon hate
me like really hate me and in this video
I'm going to explain why that is and
also weirdly why I agree with them I
hate myself too I know a great little
ramen shop around the corner I'll meet
you there and explain why in a minute
but there is one comment I do disagree
with and it's the one where the word
YouTuber is in quotation marks as if
there's some sort of reasonable doubt
that I am a YouTuber I mean we cleared
that up years ago didn't we yeah
are you a YouTuber I am
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delicious give me my oscar so there are
some videos I've made or presented over
the years that I can't watch videos
where I would rather stuff my fingers
into a blender than sit down and hit the
play button today I'm going to talk
about one of those videos it's not a
video that I made it's a documentary
that I presented back a few years ago
but one that continues to haunt me to
this day no matter how much I try to
forget about this every other day I
receive a message from a viewer
somewhere in an exotic land like Sweden
or New Zealand who switched on the TV
and seen me in a room full of cats
asking me what on Earth's going on why
am I doing that Chris I was flying on an
Emirates flight and I watched you feed
half a dozen cats on the in-flight
entertainment how did this happen
honestly imagining someone flying over
the Himalayas watching me struggle to
stroke a cat on in-flight entertainment
brings me immense Joy but let's talk
about one of my greatest failures let's
talk about the time I absolutely failed
to present a documentary called cat
Nation this is pure cat craziness Guided
by a bewildered British guy this is air
freshener that smells like a cat's
forehead cat nation was a documentary I
presented back in 2016 that was released
in 2017 exploring Japan's cat obsessed
culture and why the Japanese love cats
so damn much and we went to some pretty
unique places throughout the documentary
including an office where you can bring
your cat into work a train station with
a cat station Master it's just a cat
with a hat it's very clever very
lucrative as well as we'll discover also
the cat office might sound good on paper
like a little bit of fun isn't it bring
it in your cat bring in Mr Cuddles but
the reality is inside the office outside
the back of every computer the cables
were just chewed in half and cats were
literally just strolling over the
keyboard where people were trying to
work and the whole place smelled like
one great big toilet now the first thing
I need to say about Cat Nation is it's
actually really well shot and directed
and everyone thinks I was involved in I
wasn't I just presented it it was
actually produced and directed by a guy
called Tim uh he's from Australia he did
a great job finding the interviews
finding the locations and producing a
really slick documentary on a decent
budget and in terms of sales clearly it
did very well because it's on TV
networks around the world it's on Amazon
Prime it's on Emirates well done Tim I
wish I'd taken a cut of the sales why
did I do that [ __ ] but I do have one big
gaping criticism of Cat Nation and that
is the presenter which is me so now you
know that this is the most cat focused
documentary ever committed to video it's
important to point out I'm not a big cat
person I like cats I don't dislike them
I think they're cute and fun and awesome
but I don't really go out of my way to
do anything cat related and I've never
bought any cat merchandise apart from
the all right I realize there's a big
maneki Neko lucky cat over my shoulder
my favorite neon light in the studio but
apart from that and the puppet cat Mr
Snuggles from years ago apart from those
two examples I've never been anything
cat related and one reason is that I
have a cat allergy so if I touch a cat
it makes my handle itchy I get a bit
sniffly it's not really fun so I've
always kept my distance from cats
something that's painfully obvious in
the documentary
right so right now you're probably
thinking wait a minute you're not really
into cats you have a cat allergy you
certainly can't stroke a cat why in the
world of [ __ ] does he choose to present
the documentary exclusively about cats
rewind to 2016 when the documentary was
filmed and I just started doing YouTube
full time and it was a very scary make
or break year 2016 I had no money I had
to take out a bank loan of like 10 000
pounds to sort of survive and get
through it and it was a sort of poker
chips all in sort of situation and the
future looked a little bit Bleak I think
there was like a hundred thousand
subscribers but it wasn't that much to
survive off in terms of AD Revenue you
know if somebody walked up to me and
thrown down a 500 yen coin and said
dance [ __ ] I would have danced
and I would have got the 500 yen and had
a hamburger with all that in mind when I
received an email out the blue from this
Australian field director who was like
Hey there Chris I like a broad Japan I'm
doing a documentary about cats and I'm
thinking you'd be great to present it I
was like oh okay this is a cool
opportunity I did say I'm not sure I'm
really the right man for the job on this
there's lots of of vloggers in Japan
that do like cash and Tim was very kind
he sort of said I want the British
sarcastic silicon Persona to contrast
with the craziness of the cat culture
and I said well yeah and I've also I've
got the looks as well item and he went
yeah no uh inevitably the subject of
money came up and I was like you know
will there will there be any any money
involved in this and he said oh yeah
mate I think we got a little bit of
budget and I was like well
[ __ ] love cats what are we waiting
for let's go the main thing I was
worried about was the presentation style
and back in 2016 I wasn't a good
presenter I'm not a good presenter now
but back then I wasn't confident like
sitting in front of a camera standing in
front of a camera talking about things
presenting on TV is very different to
YouTube like on YouTube I think it's
more authentic you're actually just
listening to someone talk about their
actual opinions it's like listening to a
friend but because this was a
documentary and I knew the viewers
wouldn't know who I was I felt really
conflicted on how to present it and I
think Tim just wanted me to be the usual
sneering sarcastic monster that I am
that kind of persona but I I felt like
it wasn't gonna really work I wanted to
tone it down I wanted to be more boring
and sort of less opinionated I felt like
people wouldn't appreciate it if I just
sort of walked into a room I went to cat
with a hat on like Dr Zeus in it at the
same time I could understand what Tim
was going for it wouldn't have been
interesting if the person had gone in
being overly enthusiastic you know who
wants to watch someone going around
Japan going oh my God is that a jumper
for a cat that's amazing no way is that
500 cats in a stroller that's so
incredible oh my God is that a cat with
a hat on I'm going to have a stroke but
it wasn't the producer or the director I
was just a guy who sort of got paid to
turn up and present it so I shut up and
got on with it and went aha it's a
stroller full of cats in it that's weird
so strange Japan sugoi and
unsurprisingly most of the negative
reviews revolve around that presentation
style
um hence the basic and low intellect
British YouTuber now allegedly in the
documentary I say the words creepy crazy
weird quite a lot um as I said I haven't
really watched the documentary back I
can't bring myself to do it but it seems
that I didn't appreciate Japan's cat
culture enough and yet I don't know
maybe it is a bit weird and creepy uh
putting a hat on a cat and making it
work at a train station surrounded by
people all day taking flash photos and
shouting loudly maybe objectively that
is a little bit creepy and odd but
apparently what I should have done when
I saw the cat with the hat on I should
have gone oh my God it's a cat with a
hat there is a train station in Japan
where the cat wears a hat this is the
essence of what makes Japan so great it
is a culturally significant phenomenon
that dates back 15 years or how about
the scene where I drank some cat's wine
it's literally some like wine for cats
and it's essentially sugar water mixed
with paint stripper and just [ __ ] and it
was awful I spat it out I wasn't
respectful to the culture enough I
should have loved the Cat Wine like
never before or how about the cat air
freshener right there was some air
freshener in the video that smelt like a
cat's forehead and I had a snare fly and
it smelled honestly it smelled like
sandpaper mixed with asbestos and I had
you know I went oh that's a bit weird
and people were like oh it doesn't
respect the Japanese Traditions cat air
freshener dates back 3000 years [ __ ] me
honestly it was crazy it was wacky I
know I used the words too much but it
was legitimately ridiculous and I can't
sugarcoat that and what about the the
stroller right in one scene there's a
guy who goes through Harajuku with a
stroller stuffed full of cats there must
have been five six seven cats in that
stroller and it was a little bit
Sinister I did say oh that's weird
that's a bit creepy and odd again
disrespectful to Japanese culture what I
should have done is go whoa the cats of
Japan like to be pushed around Harajuku
all day suffocating as their owner
pushes them around a traditional dates
back before the beginning of time itself
I can't defend the indefensible I can't
defend my presenter it is awful and I I
am to blame for that partly but again I
don't feel I was the right man for the
job on this my main takeaway from this
is never hire a presenter who isn't
genuinely interested or passionate about
the topic they're covering in a
documentary or a video right that lack
of enthusiasm it really comes through
the screen I think and I feel bad to
people around the world sitting there
who who love cats and just want to see
you know some cats get pushed around or
a cat in a hat I you know I get it you
want to enjoy the cash and not see a guy
with a dismal and intolerable
personality being a bit snarky and a bit
sarcastic I completely get it
and since then I've avoided doing like a
lot of TV stuff I've been on TV a few
times it's never really fun you can't be
yourself seriously until someone comes
up to me and proposes a documentary
called Fried Chicken Nation I'll stay
the hell away from presenting a TV show
ever again this wasn't like a clever
ruse by the way to get you to watch Cat
Nation even though a lot of people have
enjoyed it I think if you've seen abroad
in Japan and know what to expect then
it's it's watchable and it's not the
worst thing that I've ever done maybe
I'll talk about that in a future episode
if I can bring myself to talk about it
but also another criticism of the
documentary is that I have a weird
choice of clothes and uh it does
honestly look like I've rummaged through
a bin bag and just pulled out the first
thing I found and worn it I've come a
long way since then of course now I'm
the king of drip I've got the most drip
on YouTube more drip than the River Nile
don't say a word but thank you for
watching guys I'll be back in the next
few days for the next episode of The 12
Days of Christmas and I hope you're
having a great start to the Christmas
season so far if you don't mind me I'm
getting back to eating my imaginary
Ramen goodbye
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