(uplifting music)
- So I think bullying can be really confusing
'cause when somebody's getting bullied
it's really common for them to internalize
what the bully is saying until it almost becomes
a part of the their identity and that is only propagating
what harm bullying can be doing and so I think
as a healthcare provider it's extremely hard
because you wanna be able to affirm
what an adolescent is going through and how they're feeling
and what they're saying but at the same time
you wanna maybe let them know that not everything
they're thinking or hearing about themselves is true,
so that can make bullying really confusing.
- I feel like one of kid's main concerns
when it comes to telling healthcare professionals
about bullying is the fear of adult intervention.
One thing that seems to be very true is
no one likes a snitch and kids fear that if they tell
their healthcare professional about bullying
then they might tell their parents,
they might tell the school and that gets adults involved
and honestly it just complicates things
and kids are really scared that if the person bullying them
finds out that they went to a professional
or went to their parents,
then they'll get bullied more for that.
- We're in a new era where social media is this new thing
that everyone's on.
It calls for a new conversation that parents were not having
with their children decades ago
and I think that new conversation is consciousness,
a consciousness of what you're putting out there,
what comments you're making,
what message you're having in the content you create
and who it's going out to, because if you're not careful
it can seriously effect yourself and the other person
receiving that message.
I have sort of a large presence on social media
and I always have to see comments of people under my posts
not agreeing with my content or not liking me
because of the religion I practice
and they don't even know why they don't like it
or they don't even know who I am.
- One thing I feel is very important
for our healthcare providers to know
how to support an individual going through bullying is
to understand to talk with them about it.
This is an issue I see happening a lot with men
and boys as well, is there's a lot of pressure
on said boys and men about feelings
and there's a lot of social stuff like
the stereotypes of how a man should be
and how boys have to act and I feel that we need to
kind of push that aside and understand that, you know,
we're humans and we have feelings and we're individuals
and we need to make sure
healthcare providers know about this.
- I think a misconception adults have often times
is that social media is inherently negative or harmful,
which I don't think is true.
I think social media has a lot of benefits
in terms of networking and meeting new people
across the world, but I do think that cyber bullying
is a really serious issue, especially because
our private experiences and pictures and our stories
can be shared without our permission
to such a wide range of people
and it's hard to escape a lot of times
and it feels like a really lonely place
when that happens to you.
- It comes with the color.
Being bullied by other races was my normal.
Them calling my lips too big, or my skin too dark,
or my curves too fat was normal
and because it was my normal, I didn't talk about it
or say anything to anyone about it,
but if I was given the outlet,
if my doctors asked me if I was being bullied
or if anyone was mean to me in school,
I'm pretty sure I would've said something
and then we would've had the conversation
and I would've recognized that it was wrong,
but we never had the conversation
and because it was my normal, I never brought it up
or said anything, because as a kid, when it is your normal
you don't know that what is happening to you is wrong
or even view it as a problem, because youth
don't truly understand how impactful bullying is
to their health.
- I personally feel that there is a line
between teasing and bullying.
I believe it's our responsibility to know that line
so that we don't become a bully.
So let's say, and this is my experience,
it's always been like I try to tell people "Hey,
"you know, I'm kind of an energetic individual
"and I like kind of giving each other shit
"and that's just how I am and if I get to this point where
"I'm making you uncomfortable, I'd like to know
"so that I can stop,
"so that I can at least be mature about it, you know?"
And I feel that there's not enough people
either feel like they're comfortable to come forward
and say "Hey, this is an issue.
"This is something that I don't like talking about.
"This is something I don't like you making fun of me about
"or giving me shit about.
"Could you not do that?"
I feel like we need to do that more,
'cause the more communication there is
the more we can actually, as a society, kinda grow.
- I've been dancing for as long as I can remember
and it's something I really love to do,
but a few years ago when I got into competitive dancing
it started to get really physical.
That's something that I had trouble working with
since I have a disorder that can make sometimes
dancing really painful on my knees or my joints
and as I was going through that I'd sometimes get comments
in rehearsal like "Why are you being lazy?"
Or "Why are you marking?"
Or like, "You suck at doing that,"
or "She's just skipping because she doesn't wanna be here,"
and that was really, really hard for me to hear
because I wanted to be out there, but this disorder
or disability made it so that I couldn't,
like it was just so physically painful
and I've always sort of struggled with
how do I go about talking to them,
or like, the people who are kind of bullying me
because of that, when I don't feel comfortable sharing
that part of my identity with them
and something that an adult told me was that
everybody's going through something, whether that's physical
or emotional and I think just keeping that
in the back of my mind has allowed me
to be more compassionate for others, but also myself.
- When it comes to identity based bullying
dynamics change dramatically.
I know for myself as a black, Muslim woman
on the daily basis, online or in real life,
I pass by different microaggressions,
challenges about my identity,
sly remarks from not just children
but even professional adults.
No one is educated enough or cares enough to be educated.
I think that providers can be leaders
in guiding young people about conflict resolution.
It would further allow them to be advocates
for healthy social and emotional practices.
- One issue that arises a lot with bullying
is bullies feeling like that's really who they are.
They get labeled as a bully
and sometimes even glorified for it
and it desensitizes the entire situation.
Kids may instead of saying "You're a bully,"
they'll be like "Oh, he's just a savage,"
or "He's just playing around, that's what he does."
It labels the person
and they can't find a way to stop after that.
(uplifting music)