I DON'T KNOW IF
YOU'RE AWARE OF THIS, BUT DONALD TRUMP...
( LAUGHTER ) -- YEAH.
YEAH, STILL.
HE'S RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT ON THE PLATFORM OF OPENING HIS
MOUTH AND SAYING THINGS.
THE ONE THING THAT FREQUENTLY EMERGES FROM THE TRUMP HOLE
IS...
( LAUGHTER ) , IS THE NAUGHTY LANGUAGE, THE
VULGARITY, THE DEVIL'S SAL TEEN.
HIESHZ THE THING.
AS WE APPROACH PRIMARY DAY IN MY HOME STATE OF SOUTH CACKALACK.
TRUMP HAS SAID HE IS SWEARING OFF THE SWEARING BECAUSE VALUE
VOTERS DO NOT LIKE THE SALTY TALK IF YOU DO THE SALTY TACK,
THEY BELIEVE YOU'LL BE DARNED TO HECK WHERE YOU BURN IN A LAKE OF
BOILING SHOOT AND HAVE FLAMING HOT POKERS SHOVED UP YOUR
(WHISTLE).
THAT HURTS LIKE A MOTHER FUDGER.
BUT I'VE GOT TO SAY, I'M NOT SURE THE MAN CAN STOP 3 WHY
WOULD HE STOP NOW?
IT SEEMS NATURAL TO HIM.
AND I'D LOVE TO HAVE TRUMP ON TO HEAR ABOUT IT FROM THE MAN
HIMSELF, BUT HE'S DOWN IN SOUTH CAROLINA CAMPAIGNING.
THOUGH HE DOES PHONE IN TO A LOT OF THE SHOWS, WHERE THEY JUST
PUT UP A PICTURE OF HIM WHILE HE TALKS TO THE SHOW.
SO I HEREBY CHALLENGE THOIM CALL MY SHOW.
BRING OUT THE TRUMP PHONE!
BRING IT OUT.
THANK YOU.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) HERE IT IS.
BEHOLD, THE TRUMP PHONE.
( LAUGHTER ) DONALD, CALL ME ON THIS PHONE.
IT IS A LINE DEDICATED JUST TO YOU.
AND TO SHOW THAT I'M SERIOUS, I WILL AM WILLING TO SPLIT THE
CHARGES.
MEANWHILE, ON THE DEMOCRATIC SIDE, HILLARY CLINTON AND BERNIE
SANDERS-- >> TRUMP-TRUMP.
TRUMP-TRUMP.
HELLO?
WHO IS THIS?
>> THIS IS DONALD TRUMP.
HELLO, STEPHEN.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: DONALD TRUMP!
OKAY, LISTEN I'LL GOT TO MAKE SURE THIS IS REALLY YOU, NOT
SOMEBODY ABUSING THE TRUMP PHONE.
SAY SOMETHING ONLY DONALD TRUMP WOULD SAY.
>> WELL, I COULD SAY YOU'RE FIRED.
>> Stephen: I'M NOT SURE YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE WHO WOULD
SAY THAT TO ME BUT THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
>> YOU'RE DOING SO WELL, THAT COULD NEVER HAPPEN, STEPHEN.
YOU'RE DOING A GREAT JOB, SO THAT COULD NEVER HAPPEN.
>> Stephen: DON'T MAKE ME.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) DON'T MAKE ME LOVE YOU, OLD MAN.
LET'S GET TO THE FIRST QUESTION OF ANY PHONE CALL.
WHAT ARE YOU WEARING?
>> I'M WEARING A VERY BEAUTIFUL PLU SUIT A POOR TIE.
>> Stephen: I'M WEARING A UNITARD AND SILVER TIARA JUST TO
TALK TO YOU.
>> THAT'S GOOD.
>> Stephen: HOW DO YOU LIKE SOUTH CAROLINA.
THE BEST PEOPLE EVER, RIGHT?
>> I LOVE IT.
IT'S A GREAT PLACE.
AND I'VE BEEN HERE MANY TIMES, AS YOU KNOW.
BUT IT'S A GREAT PLACE, AND WE'RE IN THE MIDST OF A VERY,
VERY STRONG PRIMARY SEASON.
NEW HAMPSHIRE WAS TERRIFIC.
AND THIS SATURDAY, THEY GET OUT AND VOTE, AND HOPEFULLY THEY'LL
BE VOTING FOR TRUMP, AND WE'RE GOING TO MAKE AMERICA GREAT
AGAIN.
>> Stephen: THIS IS DEFINITELY DONALD TRUMP.
ALL RIGHT.
( APPLAUSE ) LET'S TALK ABOUT WHAT EXPERTS
ARE CALLING YOUR POTTY MOUTH.
I CAN THINK OFF THE TOP OF MY HEAD THREE THINGS THAT YOU HAVE
SAID ON AIR THAT-- THIS IS TRUE-- CBS WILL NOT LET ME
REPEAT OR THEY WOULD HAVE TO BLEEP THEM.
HOW ARE YOU GOING TO STOP?
>> WELL, IT'S EASY.
I'VE DECIDED TO STOP.
I MEAN, I DO THAT FOR EMPHASIS AND I DO THAT SOMETIMES
NON-POLITICALLY, AND ONCE I DECIDED TO RUN FOR OFFICE, I
SORT OF SAID, WELL, WE'RE GOING TO HAVE TO STOP.
>> Stephen: BUT YOU DIDN'T STOP.
YOU DIDN'T STOP.
RUNNING FOR OFFICE, YOU DIDN'T STOP.
>> NO, BUT THESE ARE VERY MINOR WORDS.
IN MANY CASES I ACTUALLY BLEEPPED THEM OUT MYSELF.
I NEVER SAID THE WORD, AND THEN THEY'LL BLEEP IT AND PEOPLE WILL
THINK I SAID THE WORD WHICH IS A LITTLE DECEPTIVE, BUT THAT'S
OKAY.
( LAUGHTER ).
>> Stephen: I'VE GOT A SUGGESTION.
WHY DON'T YOU HAVE A SWEAR JAR, AND EVERY TIME YOU SAY A BAD
WORKED YOU PUT $1 BILLION IN IT.
>> THAT'S A GREAT IDEA.
I'M GOING TO DO THAT.
I LIKE THAT.
>> Stephen: LET'S TALK ABOUT IF YOU WERE ELECTED, IF IT WAS
THE LAST YEAR OF YOUR PRESIDENCY AND YOU HAD A ADVOCACY TO FILL
ON THE SUPREME COURT WOULD YOU ALLOW THE SENATE TO TELL YOU NOT
TO DO IT?
>> WELL, THE SENATE REALLY HAS NO RIGHT TO DO THAT.
I WOULD CERTAINLY, IF I WERE PRESIDENT, REGARDLESS OF WHO
THAT MAY BE.
I GUESS I'D PUT IN A NAME.
BUT THE SENATE REALLY DOES, ESPECIALLY FOR THE FAIRLY SHORT
PERIOD OF TIME, THEY HAVE A RIGHT NOT TO DO IT, NOT TO VOTE
ON IT, NOT TO APPROVE IT.
>> Stephen: SO YOU WOULD LET SOMEONE TELL YOU WHAT TO DO.
THIS IS SOUNDING LESS LIKE DONALD TRUMP EVERY--
( LAUGHS ).
>> NO, I'D PUSH.
LOOK, IF I WERE THE PRESIDENT, I WOULD BE PUSHING.
WHETHER I WAS REPUBLICAN OR DEMOCRAT, I'D BE PUSHING.
BUT THE SENATE DOES HAVE A LOT OF POWER OVER THAT.
THEY HAVE THE RIGHT TO DO IT-- THEY HAVE A PRETTY DAUNTING
RIGHT.
SO IT SHOULD NOT HAPPEN.
IT SHOULD BE WHOEVER THE NEXT PRESIDENT IS SHOULD BE THE ONE
THAT PICKS THE NEXT SUPREME COURT JUSTICE.
>> Stephen: YOU'RE DOWN IN SOUTH CAROLINA TRYING COURT
VOTES-- ( BOOING )
YOU'RE NOT MAKING ANY FRIENDS HERE, DONALD.
I HATE TO SAY.
( LAUGHTER ) YOU'RE DOWN IN SOUTH CAROLINA.
I'M FROM SOUTH CAROLINA.
I WANT TO HELP YOU OUT HERE.
LET'S HEAR YOU SAY, "PLEASE VOTE FOR ME, Y'ALL."
>> WELL, I CAN SAY THAT.
PLEASE VOTE FOR ME, Y'ALL.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ).
>> Stephen: VERY CONVINCING.
VERY CONVINCING.
WELL, I KNOW YOU'RE A BUSY MAN.
I'LL LET YOU GO GET YOUR PANTS ON.
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR CALLING US.
>> THANK YOU, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
>> Stephen: DONALD TRUMP, EVERYBODY, ON THE TRUMP POPE.
>> THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
THANK YOU.
( APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: NOW-- NOW,
TOGETHER LET'S MAKE THIS SHOW GREAT AGAIN.