♫ Come what may
(laughing)
♫ Only you
♫ Until my dying day
(remixed pop music)
- It's Drunk Advice!
- Yay!
- With Hazel Hayes!
(clicks tongue)
Okay, so --
- I'm so happy to be here!
- Rule number one, be drunk.
If you don't drink, be in the spirit of drunk.
Rule number two, I'm a friend with you.
- You rhymed that!
- I did!
And rule number three, don't take our advice.
How to make Youtube videos and still get good grades.
- Oh for fuck sakes.
Oh my God.
These are actual questions!
- Next question.
- (laughs) I don't have to try!
- Do you wanna answer that one?
Do you have any advice for her?
How do I life?
Ugh, I hate that question.
- Ugh!
Ugh!
- How to find the right dog for you.
Don't get a dog, I was dogsitting my
friend the other day.
Scratches all up my arm and it
shat in my office twice.
(laughing)
- Why does bra shopping have to
be so hard if you're over a B?
Just want to contains my muchachas, help.
(groans) I totally feel this.
- Bra shopping's not that hard.
Go and get fitted for one and then
get one that fits you right.
Or let them fly free!
What do you do if you want a kitten,
but have a fear of animals?
- Get a toy kitten.
- Get a kitten!
Spice things the fuck up!
- Face that fear!
- You get on that fucking fear
bandwagon and you ride it!
- I love Papa Dom's.
- How to talk to new people in a new environment.
- Insult them.
Straight off the bat.
If they can take it, they can be your friend.
- Something to talk about as well.
Just go up to them and just be
like I don't like your coat.
- How'd you like them apples?
- At what point at the beginning of
a relationship is it polite to delete Tinder?
Just never delete Tinder.
- You don't have to delete Tinder, do you?
I feel like because I've been in
a relationship all this time, I've really
missed out on the fun of these
weird social networks.
- Should we do a bit of Tindering?
Oh wait, no, I literally just received
messages before we start filming.
- Hey, we got messages from Tinder!
How to tell people I don't like them
without actually saying I don't like them.
- I feel like you'd probably be really good at this.
(laughing)
- Nope, I would just tell them I didn't like them.
- Okay okay, maybe I'm the one
who would be good at this then.
Because I think I'm more passive aggressive than you.
- I'm quite diplomatic.
You really like them in theory.
(laughing)
But in practice it just doesn't really work.
Like Communism.
Biggest mistake you've ever made,
that's not advice!
What would you do if someone
bit your big and little toes off?
I'm not evening answering that
'cause it's not advice, but...
- I would...
- Oh, she's doing it.
- Take my big and little toes, cook a pie,
put them in it and make them eat it.
- Pie?
- You can't tell if I'm a genius or a psychopath.
- No, I love it, you could shove
them up their nostrils and then hold
their jaw shut so they suffocate on your toes.
- Why is it so hard to make straight
guy friends because I'm gay?
Is it my fault?
Whoa!
100% not your fault.
Also, straight guys that don't wanna
be friends with you are just
arrogant little pricks who are like
I can't be friends with a gay guy
'cause what if he fancies me.
I don't think any of my gay girlfriends
are gonna fall in love with me
and try and hit on with me.
- About that, Hannah.
I love you.
And would like for us to be together.
(giggling)
- You know, I was thinking the same thing.
Can we stop filming?
- Can you imagine if we were a couple,
we'd be such a great couple!
- It would be like --
- We'd be such a power couple!
♫ Why does my heart cry
♫ Feelings I can't fight
♫ You're free to leave me, just don't deceive me
♫ And please believe me when I say
♫ I love you ♫
- How do you deal with the every...
Oh.
- What?
- This is serious.
How do you deal with the every day
struggle but you can never reach
the level of your ideals?
Aim lower.
- How do I dismantle the patriarchy?
- Oh fuck.
One brick at a time is my advice.
- Just you do you.
You go about life doing you.
- Yeah.
- Dismantle the patriarchty within yourself
and within the people who are close to you.
- Yeah.
- Okay, this is in all caps, so it' very urgent.
- Shout it!
- What do you do when you start getting
the feelings for someone who terrifies
you but excites you?!
- Ride the wave, man.
Ride that wave.
- Go ride that wave.
- That wave don't come all that often,
you fucking ride that bastard.
- Such good advice, Hazel, that's so good.
God help us all.
- That's why I'm here.
- Connor Manning wants us to
walk us through how to kiss someone well.
- Fuck off, Connor!
You know two women are making a video, yeah?
And you're like oh, show us how to kiss
'cause I'm just, I'm really curious
how two people would kiss one another.
- How does that work?
- How might they demonstrate that?
Shut up, Connor.
- This is how.
- Have better manners.
- With chocolate.
You go like this, so imagine these
are the lips of the other person.
- I'm not doing this.
- Ready, see it's like...
(laughing)
(mumble) making out with some mistress.
(laughing)
Are you ready for this?
- Do it, make it look sexy,
I dare you to try and make that look sexy.
- How do you not freak out when
offered a life changing experience?
Freak out, just freak out.
- Freak out, freak out!
- Thank you for watching the Drunk Advice --
- Woooo ooooo oooooo!
- Don't, (mumble) gonna make me cry.
- Awww.
- Thank you for watching Drunk Advice!
This has been Hannah Witton and Hazel Hayes!
- (laughs) This has been Hannah Witton and Hazel,
do you always say that?
- No!
(laughs) I don't know.
Please give the video the thumbs up
if you liked it, and if you have better
advice than us, leave it in the comments.
Subscribe to Hazel.
We did a Tipsy Talk on her channel.
Thanks for watching!
- Thanks!
Bye.
- Bye!
(remixed pop music)