Paul, what is positive parenting? -Hey, we're talking about that all the time on
this channel. We'll define it for you today with some powerful tools for you
to implement immediately for me. It's helpful to figure out what it's not. -Okay.
-Because that sets up a little bit of a contrast. Positive parenting is not
something that's on your should do list. -Like, "I should figure..." -"I really need to be... I
should..." Yeah. That just creates pressure. This is not on your to-do list.
It's not something that you should do. What else is it not? -It's not a highly
complicated system of just all these intricate step to take. -You don't have to know a
whole lot to do this. That's not what it's all about. It's also not a way
to manipulate your children into doing what you want them to do. -Yeah. I think
that's one of the big keys. A lot of times people think, "Oh, we're really doing
positive but we're really just kind of masking the manipulation behind a
positive facade." And that's not manipulation. -We will reiterate here yet
again. Your job as a parent is to love them when? -No matter what and even if. -Yes.
-Thank... You got A, Vicki. Of course you did. Love them no matter what and even if.
It's not your job to get them to do their chores. It's not your job to make
sure that they succeed in school. It's not your job even to keep them safe.
Because sometimes you can't do those things. It is your job to love them no
matter what and even if. So, positive parenting is not a way to manipulate
them into doing all these things you want them to do. -So, let's talk about what
it is. -It's actually a choice. -Yeah. Are you sure? -What if it is? What if it is?
What if you could say today... In fact, repeat after me.
I choose positive parenting. -We're just going to choose it. You can
choose this. It's simply a choice. And it's a choice that brings about a more
joyful positive happy culture within your home. I'm just going to add with this.
When you make that choice, you're also choosing just the practice of it.
So, there's going to be mistakes. But that's part of positive parenting is do-overs.
-Right. You can choose it today and not be good at it. That's totally fine. It's like
when you choose to play the guitar. You're not going to be good at it at first.
-Oh, yeah. Have you ever heard a beginning violin student? -Oh, yeah. -But on one day
that they choose to begin and play. So, you're going to choose positive
parenting. It is a choice. -As you make that choice and obviously hopefully
you've gone in and looked at some of these things about maturity and and that
whole model of maturity and control, it becomes a really natural way to bring
into unity or congruity that control and that maturity. -This model, the one that
you're referring to Vicki. We've got other videos that describe this. In fact,
there's one called teaching children responsibility where we go over the
basic maturity and control model. -Right. -Click onto that and watch it after this
video and that will bring that into alignment for you. Positive parenting
helps you to find the right balance between control and maturity. Do you ever
feel like a control freak? -Sometimes... -Your kids ever accuse you of being one? -Yep.
-Because if that's the case, that we've got a little mismatch in our control and
maturity. And that's what positive parenting is all about. It helps... It's a
natural and logical way to bring that into alignment. -Right. -I think one of the
best benefits of taking on a positive parenting aspect is that it will improve
and assist your child in having a better life. It kind of brings the control back
to them. It helps them understand that what they do matters and that they can
choose a more positive, a more rewarding a more
productive life. -I love that, Vicki because it's not about getting something
that we want to have done done. You know, like getting our kids to do chores. -Right.
-That might be a secondary side effect. -But it's really about teaching them the
principles that will allow them to have a more joyful life. -And in the process, a
lot of the times the positive side effect is that your life is better. It's
more improved, it's happier. Because your child is cooperating with you. Remember,
if you go back to that positive parenting and when the child
starts cooperating is when you can really start to kind of blossom in your
interactions in your parenting. -Well, you think about what really irritates and
annoys you as a parent. And you might think, "Well, it's my child's misbehavior."
But really, really when I've interviewed parents... And I've interviewed a lot of
parents. What really bothers them is their own reaction to their child's
misbehavior. -Yeah. -I hear parents say this all the time. "I'm losing my cool. I yell
and scream and then I feel bad about it afterwards." Positive parenting will bring
about some positive results for you as a parent. But like you pointed out, Vicki.
That's only secondary. Because the real benefit here is the way that it enhances
your children's lives. And yours gets better too but that's just a secondary
effect. And we'll take it. Oh, man. -You bet. -That's not the purpose that we're doing
it. See, that gets back to our main job as a parent is to love them no matter what
and even if. Our life is going to get better through positive parenting but it's
really about the kids. We are not going to leave you hanging. In fact, Vicki and I
love being on your positive parenting team. We've got an entire playlist for
positive parenting. Go to the positive parenting playlist here on our Channel.