♪ Everything's fine cause there's merch in the store ♪
♪ Yeah ♪
♪ Merch in the store ♪
♪ We're all stuck inside and we miss the outdoors ♪
♪ Wait, don't think about that ♪
♪ Stop thinking about that ♪
♪ Yeah ♪
♪ There's merch in the store ♪
♪ Comfy and cute and great in the shower ♪
♪ I mean, what? ♪
♪ I miss human touch ♪
♪ Merch in the store, new merch in the store ♪
- I live in a house with three other roommates.
Casey is the hot one.
Ryan is the serious one.
And Sarah is the girl.
And that just leaves me.
I'm the annoying one.
(upbeat music)
Every housing situation needs an annoying roommate,
a common enemy to bring everyone else together
and I've really embraced my role in the household.
(splashing)
Being annoying is an art to me.
Sure, I do the basic messy roommate stuff,
I never take out the trash,
I leave my stuff everywhere,
I hoard dirty dishes, but being annoying
is about more than just making a little mess.
I'm constantly challenging myself
on ways to be as annoying as possible
and I think my roommates really take notice
of my creativity and drive.
- [Casey] Dan!
(knocking)
- Occupied!
- [Casey] Dude, what are you even doing in there?
You've been in there for like an hour.
- I'm shaving.
- [Casey] Shaving what?
- I didn't say me.
I'm shaving someone else.
- Oh my god, what?
So since I'm a full-time streamer
and part-time model the energy bill
gets pretty high so we needed another roommate.
So we went on Craigslist as everyone does,
and that's where we found Dan.
And living with Dan is really difficult.
He's really inconsiderate with everyone's stuff.
And whenever we try to confront him about it
he always denies everything.
(thud)
- Ah yes, I found that denying my annoying behavior
multiplies it's effect.
- Dan is the worst.
He has no respect for shared spaces whatsoever.
He treats the whole house like it's his bedroom,
he's constantly using speaker phone.
(laughs)
- Oh my god, okay, try it one more time.
(laughs)
Are you getting this?
- [Bryan] He throws parties without letting anyone know
and constantly walks around in various states of undress.
It's gross.
- I've been thinking of moving out-
wait, the girl?
That's seriously my title?
I have like other traits, you know.
- Did that annoy her?
- [Man] Uh, yeah.
Can you give me another descriptor?
- Oh, I guess she's kind of athletic?
- I mean yeah, I guess I'm kind of athletic.
Anyway, I just I can't handle living with Dan anymore.
I can't even feel comfortable in my own home.
- It's simply barbaric.
I've never met a being this disgusting
and I've been inside a Dave & Buster's.
- Sarah, I had the worst day and I just need to vent.
(sobs)
- Oh.
- Everybody at work was mean to me
because I ate the cake that was in the fridge
and it turned out it was for a birthday
and now everybody's mad at me
and I just wanted to come home
to all my friends but you're busy.
- Yeah.
- And all I wanted to do is see if you wanted to do
some online gaming but your headphones
don't even have a microphone
so we can't talk competitively
and there's no way we're going
to be able to win any game mode.
Capture the flag, Taz Match, King of the Hill.
- I try to leave all the lights off to conserve energy.
Dan likes to leave all the lights on because ghosts.
- Whenever I'm on my streams he always jumps in the back
and he's like doing a fortnight.
Doing a fortnight.
- Just once I'd love to come home to a bathroom
that doesn't smell like death.
- He doesn't even realize I'm playing Apex Legends.
Come on.
- He's scheduled his daily poops
for an hour before I get home and he takes an hour.
- Hold on, I'm trying to stunt real quick.
Give me a second.
I'm going to see if I can get this on my head.
- [Man On Phone] Can you describe it?
Because I'm on the phone in the bathroom.
- So I've got like my blanket draped on my feet
like a Mother Theresa situation.
I'm trying to kick it onto my head
into a proper like nun's habit
or like a batman cowl.
(grunts)
(sighs)
- [Man On Phone] Did it work?
- Yeah, that time it landed perfectly on my head.
- The fact that his diet is I think half cheese balls
and the other half brussels sprouts and salsa
is just-
(phone chiming)
- I just got a text from Bryan.
He's calling a house meeting to discuss my behavior.
A house meeting.
Okay, if a passive aggressive note is like
having my own exhibit
a house meeting is like the god damn louvre.
Ah, look at you guys all sitting together.
That's so sweet.
- You're late.
- Is that my robe?
- Yeah.
So what's going on, you guys?
- Well, we all talked and we've all unanimously
decided that you need to go.
- Mhmm.
(gasps)
- Oh!
Okay.
Um, are you sure?
- Yes, we're sure!
- Easy, easy.
We need you out by the end of the month
and not a day later, okay?
- Okay, I understand.
- Good.
- Hey, we all chipped in for the TV so I've be taking
my quarter with me.
(bleep)
You guys just wanna start saying
whatever dishes are in anybody's room
that's what you get to keep?
- That's all the dishes!
- Whatever, whatever, whatever gets him out.
- Why would I be mad?
This is my Sistine Chapel!
And I've already got another place lined up.
I've been complaining about my crazy roommates
to one of my coworkers.
He offered to let me move into house for free.
He hasn't told his wife yet
but I think if I play my cards right
I can save their marriage.
Does anyone know where I can get bedbugs?
Anyone?
I know for sure you've got a bug guy.
(beep)
- Dan has the manners of a howler monkey
which is actually kind of offensive for me to say
because I worked at the San Diego Zoo last summer.
Let's just put it this way, Dan makes the howler monkeys
exhibit at the San Diego Zoo look like a free mason lodge.
(beep)
- He's always using all of my men's care products
and he always puts them back in the wrong way
and look Dan, I had them ordered in a very specific way.
I can't put on my toner after I put on my setting spray.
It's simple science.
Is that how make up works?
Oh.
Toner, setting spray, that's not the same thing, right?
(snorts)
(beep)
- [Casey] Come on, dude, I've been holding-
I'm prairie dogging right now.
I just really need to let loose
and this is the only bathroom.
- Dude, I'm so close to finishing up.
It's going to take even longer if I have set up again.
- [Casey] Oh my god, okay.
How much longer?
- 30, 40 minutes tops.
- [Casey] Ahh!
Well, is there like a bucket somewhere
that you know of?
- The world is your bucket, my friend.
- [Casey] Oh, god!
- We have a backyard.
- [Casey] Oh, no.
Not again.
(beep)
- I don't believe Dan has parents
because I don't think there's a human womb
on Earth that could manifest
the lovecrafian nightmare that is Dan.
(beep)
- Do you want some?
- No.
- Do you want some?
No, I don't want-
I don't want that.
(crash)
(beep)
Dan is the human embodiment of a Carl's Junior.
(beep)
I tried to have Dan involuntarily committed
but when I described his behavior
the state hospital said that he would only
further the insanity of the other patients.
(beep)
- He likes to act like my friends are his friends
when he doesn't even remember any of their names.
I don't even think he tries.
Like my friend, Debra, he calls her Kelly.
(beep)
- And also, and also, and also
Casey's computer can't handle the games I wanna play.
- [Woman] Cut!
- Wait.
(laughs)
(beeps)
- Hey yeah!
(hums)
Yeah!
(yells)
Hey yeah!
Hey yeah hey!
And then it went into like a Shakira.
I was like-
(singing)
It was like that, right?
(beep)
It was my month to buy toilet paper last month
so this month since it's Sarah
if you could buy me a new thing of toilet paper.
It's the least you could do since, you know,
I will be moving out on such little notice.
- Are you ultrasoft or ultrastrong?
- [Dan] Um, I'm definitely ultrasoft.
Also, two ply.
Anything less than two ply,
I will come back here, I will stay forever.
(sighs)
Actually I have to check our tenant agreement.
Maybe that's not enough notice.
- A month is fine.
- [Dan] It's a little less than a month though
cause we're a few days in.
I'm so sorry.
I hate to be that guy but like you do
have to stand up for what's right.
- Hey, my dad's a lawyer so-
- [Dan] That's great.
I'll hire him.
(groans)
(bleep)
- He figured it out.
(beep)
- Oh, hello.
It's Dan again, the most annoying roommate.
I'm here in my new home.
No, not the one I referred to in the video.
Yet another one.
It's been quite the month and I have a gift for you.
It's not the sock I've left outside your doorway
or the tuna cans that I've lovingly hidden under the sink.
No, no.
It's yet another video from Smosh that YouTube themselves
have picked out for you.
All you have to do is click on it just over here.
Oh, how delightful, how annoying!