So as you know--
or maybe you don't know-- but tomorrow is Thanksgiving,
in case you didn't know.
We all know the true meaning of Thanksgiving
is great prices on flat screen TVs.
No, it's not.
It's football.
That's what it is.
It's not football either.
It's being thankful.
And I think it's important to know how Thanksgiving began.
So to tell the story of Thanksgiving,
I've reunited the Ellen DeGeneres Show Players.
I don't know if you've heard of us.
We've toured all over the country.
You know the Book of Mormon?
We saw that.
And so right now, it is time for the Ellen DeGeneres Show
Players.
We're going to tell you the story
of the very first Thanksgiving.
The Ellen DeGeneres Show Players proudly present,
The First Thanksgiving.
[CHEERING]
A long, long time ago, a group of people
called the pilgrims sailed from England to a place
called Plymouth Rock.
On Plymouth Rock, there were two groups of people--
pilgrims, and Native Americans.
This is their story.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
You guys.
You guys, we made it.
In just a little less than 7,000 hours,
we've traveled all the way from England to America,
in search of a better life-- kind of like Sophia Grace
and Rosie.
And look at this, we have the place to ourselves.
Not another person as far as the eye can see.
[CLEARING THROAT]
Who are ye?
We are the [? Wakenaug. ?]
Gesundheit.
What are you doing here?
What are we doing here?
What are you doing here?
Well, this is our land.
We've lived here for thousands of years.
Wow.
Is it cool if we just stay?
We're just going to be here a little while.
Just a few days, or something like that.
The pilgrims had a hard time adjusting
to life in the new world.
It was a rough winter, and not everyone survived.
Sorry, Dave.
The Native Americans taught the pilgrims
how to harvest crops and provide for themselves.
The pilgrims were so grateful, they
wanted to repay the Native Americans for their kindness.
The Native Americans have done so much for us.
They gave us these two pumpkins.
I have a tiny gourd.
We should do something to thank them.
We can give them all this land, and then
help them cultivate it.
Oh, what about dinner?
Oh, yeah.
We could give them dinner.
We could call it thanks a lot dinner,
or thanks a bunch lunch, or hooray buffet.
Oh, I like hooray buffet.
That sounds good.
Hooray buffet.
Does everyone like that?
Because it's important that we think
of a good name for our dinner that describes the thanks
that we're giving.
They all settled upon calling it Thanksgiving.
The pilgrims invited the Native Americans to share
in a special feast.
Such a dry reading that you're giving.
It's really weird.
You all saved our lives, by teaching us how to farm.
So to show our thanks, we've made
you some delicious cornbread, and there's
some corn salad in there, and a corn casserole, and a corn
frittata.
And there's corn pie, and some corn chowder,
and a corn smoothie, and a corn surprise.
We even made a game for your backyard.
What's it called, William?
What's it called?
Cornhole.
It's called cornhole.
Why is that funny?
Don't shake your gourd at me.
This meal is a symbol of our thanks,
and I realize now that we should have come up with a fair way
to share the land.
My bad.
But, let's eat some great food and get some sleep,
because tomorrow is the biggest shopping day of the year
and mama needs new buckles.
And that's the story of Thanksgiving.
The Ellen DeGeneres Players, everyone.