The alcoholic, dimension-hopping mad scientist Rick Sanchez could be called a lot of things.
"Compassionate," "friendly," and "filled with basic human decency" are not among them.
"Hey, Jerry, don't worry about it.
So what if the most meaningful day of your life was a simulation operating at minimum
capacity?"
Over two seasons, Rick and Morty have killed countless people, destroyed whole civilizations,
and just made some pretty terrible life decisions.
Here are some of the worst things Rick and Morty have ever done.
Murdered a bunch of bureaucrats
Rick's brazen disregard for most everything is established in the pilot, when he drags
Morty out of class for an expedition to Dimension 35C so Rick can use him to smuggle some powerful
Mega Seeds through interdimensional customs.
"And I'm gonna need you to put them waaaay up inside your butthole, Morty."
"My butt?"
"Put them way up inside there, as far as they can fit!"
"Oh geez, Rick."
But their plan doesn't work out, so Rick has to commandeer a portal home while Morty engages
in a shootout with the customs officials.
Morty ends up killing dozens of aliens with personal lives and loving families.
"They're not robots, Rick!"
"It's a figure of speech, Morty!
They're bureaucrats.
I don't respect them."
Blew up the Zigerions
Kidnapping people isn't the nicest way to get secrets, but you can't help but like the
Zigerions in Episode 4 of the first season.
After a series of simulations within simulations, the alien scammers maneuver Rick into a situation
where he gives up the recipe for concentrated dark matter…
"Grab that bucket!
OK, two parts plutonic quarks, one part cesium."
...but as usual, Rick is one step ahead of them the whole time.
The Zigerions try out the recipe… and blow up their entire ship.
Which would have been bad enough, but of course the show adds this little tidbit right before
they all die:
"And listen, I'm sorry for yelling earlier.
I couldn't ask for a better staff.
I love you guys!
And I love all your families."
Man, it's like Rick can only destroy things with families.
Cronenberged the world
Rick's done some pretty bad things, but leaving an entire reality in the grip of horrible
suffering might be one of the worst.
After inadvertently making the entire population of Earth fall violently in love with Morty,
Rick fixes the problem with a little science.
"What are we gonna do, Rick?!"
"We're gonna be fine, Morty, relax.
I whipped up an anecdote.
It's based on praying mantis DNA."
When that turns everyone into bug-monsters, Rick fixes the problem with better science.
"It's koala, mixed with rattlesnake, chimpanzee, cactus, shark, golden retriever and just a
smidge of dinosaur.
Should add up to normal humanity."
That's when the episode gets dark.
Rick's new serum also backfires, but do Rick and Morty stick around to fix things?
Nope!
They just abandon everyone in the world to a lifetime of suffering and take the places
of their dead selves in an alternate reality.
"Rick!
What about the reality we left behind?!"
"What about the reality where Hitler cured cancer, Morty?
The answer is 'don't think about it.'"
Created Abradolf Lincler
The first season finale introduced a ton of new awesome characters, like Bird Person and
Squanchy.
"Is there a good place for me to squanch around here?"
"Squanchy, you can squanch wherever you want to, man!
Mi casa es su casa, dawg!"
"Alright!"
But the strangest guest at the party has to be Abradolf Lincler, a mutant creation with
the combined DNA of Abraham Lincoln and Adolf Hitler who was abandoned by his father-slash-god,
Rick.
The existential pain of this guy is just off the charts, and Rick, being Rick, couldn't
care less.
Even when Abradolf Lincler sacrifices himself and things get emotional and people start
crying, Rick's only got one thing to say:
"But at least he didn't die in vain.
He got these crystals.
And these babies just saved this lame-ass party!
Wubba-lubba-dub-dub!"
Because there's nothing like sacrifice and emotional torment to kick off a party, right?
Abandoned Jerry forever
The Cronenberg episode left the original version of Jerry in a mutated hellhole, but Rick wasn't
done with the guy.
In season 2, episode 2, Rick drops him off at a facility that basically amounts to a
giant daycare for Jerrys.
Dozens of versions of Jerry wander around in various states of confusion and distraction,
waiting to be picked up again.
But one room contains all the Jerrys who were completely abandoned by their Ricks and Mortys.
"These are the Jerrys whose Ricks and Mortys never came back."
These guys are stuck in a nursing home on an alien planet.
Forever.
Talk about depressing.
Created and destroyed a universe
Rick's got a pretty heavy god vibe going throughout the series, and nowhere is that more apparent
than in his choice of car battery — which contains an entire universe whose sole purpose
is to...well, power his car.
"You have a whole planet sitting around making power for you?!
That's slavery!"
"That's society!
They work for each other, Morty."
Basically, Rick's car battery contains an entire civilization of sentient, intelligent
beings… who happen to be so intelligent they make another battery with its own micro
universe.
And Rick has zero problems smashing that battery to pieces, killing the civilization inside.
"Oh, hey guys.
I just finished cooking us a feast!"
"You monster!"
Yup, that's all of these guys, and their families, smashed out of existence.
By the time Rick and Morty escape the car battery, all the creatures inside know that
they're slaves...and they have no choice but to keep their meaningless existence going.
"One of two things was gonna happen: I was gonna have to toss a broken battery.
Or the battery wouldn't be broken."
Is this guy the worst yet?
Almost...but there's more.
Because there was also the time Rick and Morty...
Slaughtered innocent aliens
In season two's penultimate episode, Rick and Morty stop for windshield wiper fluid
on a planet which is about to commence "The Festival."
"You've been able to sustain world peace because you have one night a year where you all run
around robbing and murdering each other without consequence!"
"That's right!"
"What?!"
"It's like The Purge, Morty!
Th-That movie, The Purge!"
Rick convinces Morty to stick around and watch the Purge, and they try to save a girl, and
it all backfires when they get caught up in the middle of the mayhem.
"It's the hardest-working liver in the galaxy, Morty.
Now it has a hole in it.
I hope it was worth it."
"I was just trying to do right!"
"Yeah, well that's not really the theme of tonight's party.
Heads up."
In the end, they strap on a pair of powered battle suits and go to town on the townsfolk,
killing just about everyone.
"You're really going for it over there.
I, uh, think, uh, I think those people were just hiding."
"I don't give a s---!"
Put deadly bacteria in ice cream
If there's anything Rick cares about, it definitely isn't Jerry.
And we got solid proof of that in season two's eighth episode, which opens with Jerry in
an alien hospital, projectile-spewing toxic vomit.
"Watch out for that stuff.
It'll stain if it gets on your clothes, and it'll send you on a murderous rage if it gets
in your eyes or mouth."
...which happened because Rick stored some mutant bacteria in a pint of Cherry Garcia
ice cream.
And because of that, Jerry comes close to getting castrated so his genitals can serve
as another guy's heart transplant.
But in the end, as terrible a guy as Rick may be, one thing's for sure: He always has
the situation under control.
"Bwanuh-dun-nuh-nuh nuh nuhhhh.
Bwah nuh, nuh-nuh-nuhhh."
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