In the mid eighteen-hundreds when the engagement ring tradition first picked up in the United
States, some men sported them. But it didn't take long for engagement rings to become a
woman exclusive piece of jewelry.
In the nineteen twenties, nineteen twenty-six to be precise, American jewelers got together
and figured out a new strategy for maximizing their bottom line. Sell engagement rings for
men. In order to make this happen the jewelry industry had a few major marketing hurdles
that it had to overcome. Much as it still is today, engagement is something that happens
to a woman by virtue of a man presenting her with a ring. Marry me Suzie! Who's Suzie?
On top of that wearing jewelry and rings was something considered feminine. It wasn't until
even the nineteen forties that husbands began wearing wedding bands. What this national
campaign to sell men's engagement rings was tasked with was creating an entirely new tradition
that in no way would threaten the masculinity of these future husbands of America. So you
see examples of advertising tactics selling these rings as a way for guys to elevate their
masculinity. A knight riding off into battle, while wearing an engagement ring. Jewelers
touting the fact that their men's engagement rings were made from manly materials like
iron and bronze. Men's ring styles were even given names like the pilot, the executive,
the stag! [Cough]. But what the jewelry industry didn't anticipate were a couple of fatal flaws
that doomed the men's engagement ring campaign. Market research had also found that if a guy
found out that his fiance was going to buy a ring for him he would have put a stop to
it. It was often left up to her to guess his ring size and the style that he would like
because again if she asked him what kind of ring he would like he would probably say,
'The only ring I want is no ring honey.' 'But Sam.' 'Who's Sam?' Gender roles were still
very much entrenched to where women were in control of childcare and the domestic, men
were meant to go out and work and then probably afterwards simply socialize with his male
buddies. While securing a woman's hand in marriage by giving her a ring was something
to be proud of, being given a ring by a woman and signifying to the world that you were
about to become someone's husband not so much. Pretty soon thereafter the jewelry industry
figures out that the male engagement ring campaign is a total flop. And once the great
depression happens they simply refocus their energies on the bridal market. Now to understand
why most American men today still don't wear engagement rings, it's helpful to look at
why they began wearing wedding bands in the nineteen forties and fifties. Post-World War
II prosperity and it's attendant migration toward suburbia along with the rise of what's
called domestic masculinity and the companionate family set the social stage for what were
called double ring weddings. Weddings as we would think of them today wherein both the
bride and the groom are given rings to put on. While the American jewelry industry and
advertising certainly played a role in selling wedding bands to me, it was also our culturally
evolving idea of what a husband should be that helped cement that new tradition. The
ideal married man was more domestic and companionate than ever before and so it made sense that
he would wear a wedding band symbolizing his connection not only to the marriage unit and
his wife but also to his family, to his house, to the suburban ideal of post-war America.
When it comes to engagement rings the heterosexual dating script that leads up to marriage hasn't
really changed all that much outside of well Tindr and texting. Men still do a majority
of the asking whether it's for a first date or for someone's hand in marriage. Even though
you see jewelry companies today every now and then trying to push mangagement rings,
it's not so common. Will it ever be? Guys do you want engagement rings?