where does the fear of driving come from well in this video we're going to explore this because
if you're one of those people who has suddenly developed a fear of driving and he just makes no
sense whatsoever and you're thinking where did this come from how come I've been driving for
years and years and years and I've never had any problems and now I can't drive on highways I can't
drive over Bridges I can't drive on my own where did this problem come from well let me explain
my name's Paul and I work online with people all over the world to help them overcome their fear
driving and this is one of the top things people ask us to say look I just want to know why have I
got this problem how come all of a sudden out of the blue I just can't drive and I've been doing
it for decades well let me explain as I always say in my videos driving anxiety has nothing to
do with driving and what's happening the reason he came out of the blue is because it hasn't come
out of the blue you've actually had this problem all of your life but you just didn't realize it so
how does that work well it's what we call symptom substitution what this is is that when you were
young something would have happened that gave you a problem the most common time for this to happen
is between the ages of 2 and 18. most of the time it's between about two and eight and that's
because when you get to roughly eight years old the way your mind works changes and it's almost
as though it locks off whatever it's learned up until then and although you still develop and
learn new skills pretty much by the time you're eight years old your life has been decided but
we don't have to get too sidetracked with that let's have a look at what symptoms substitution is
so let me give you an example of someone I worked with Once whose fever of driving came from when
they were locked in a Cupboard school now this is actually quite a common one and as I talk about
this there is a small chance you may even start to have memories of something similar that happened
to you as a child this client of mine was now in his 40s and he'd never had a problem driving until
recently when he just started panicking every time he drove away from home he was fine for about a
mile or two around his house but as soon as he got further away than that you'd start to get
nervous and Shake he'd have sweaty Palms stomach would ache his head would ache and if you've got
a fear of driving you can no doubt relate to some of those problems So what had happened is
when he was about five years old at school he'd been messing around one day and he'd been really
annoying teacher so the teacher had locked him in a Cupboard now that had given him a panic
attack because he was nervous about being locked in a Cupboard years later that had changed so
instead of being nervous have I been locked to the cupboard that same problem had morphed into the
whenever he spoke to girls at school he would get really scared and shy and his face will go by Red
that then changed it to another problem that when he left school he had trouble in job interviews
because of his shyness that then led to another problem where when he was in an office he would
get nervous anytime there were lots of people in the office that then led to his fear of driving
because when he was surrounded by people on the road he was reliving my memory of being a child
so you see how that's linked to his past how the symptom has changed from one thing to another
and this is why I always say driving anxiety has nothing to do with driving I can promise you that
if you go out taking driving lessons having CBT where they sit talking to you about do you
know how safe driving is and did you know that so many people drive a day and only 0.1 percent have
crashes that stuff is rubbish because it's got nothing to do with that that is when amateurs who
don't know what they're doing work on the symptoms it's nothing to do with a symptom because what you
need to understand the reason your problem came out of nowhere came out of the blue is because
it didn't you've had this problem your whole life and it's just morphed and changed from one thing
to another and it's really fascinating when I work with clients and they realize this they
realize that hold on a minute so you're telling me a driving was because of that thing about being in
an office and that was because of the interview and that was because of the school and that was
because of the day I missed around the school and I was locked in a Cupboard now remember this does
not have to make any sense you might think well what's being locked in a cover got to do with
driving nothing that's the thing you had a problem years ago and as you grew up your problem grew
up with you I mean think about it imagine no if you're in your 20s 30s 40s 50s whatever would you
be able to go back to school and sit in the same little tiny chair at the same tiny desk that you
did when you were five years old well of course now you'd have trouble fitting in there and you
might look a bit weird being a 40 year old man sitting in a room full of kids trying to write
with a crayon well this is a thing as you grow up your problem grows up so you see when people
ask the question where did my fear of driving come from it's because of something that happened years
and years and years ago and it doesn't need to make any sense I always say to people look who
cares about you making sense this problem lives in your unconscious mind where logic and sense plays
no part it doesn't work without that imagine that you've had the problem since you're a child and
it's simply grown and adapted in the Sun by The you've grown and adapted so this is why working
on driving will do nothing driving lessons for driving anxiety will do nothing and again I know
this because not only am I an online therapist with qualifications in all sorts like hypnosis NLP
Psychotherapy counseling all these things and more I also spent over 20 years as a driving instructor
and I trained hundreds of driving instructors and over a thousand people to drive so I know
that what you do in driving lessons is going to do nothing to touch driving anxiety now let's move on
to something that people often say well you're wrong because I've watched your videos and I had
a fear of driving and I got rid of it by taking lessons and by pushing through through so I don't
understand why you say you can't do that well if you've watched some of my other videos you'll know
what I'm about to say unfortunately you haven't got rid of the problem all you've done is moved
it elsewhere because I'll point to this video is that your problem changes and grows over time so
you see what happens is your mind is screaming out for help it's saying please help me you've
got this problem you need to sort it out so it gives you a fear of driving as a way of saying
get me help I need help and if you don't listen to it if you just push through and you get these
expert or so-called expert driving instructors I can fix your driving anxiety and then people
say way worked you covered in my problem no but all they've done is pushed your problem elsewhere
what can happen is when the problem changes it actually gets worse so they haven't got rid of
your fear of driving you didn't defeat it and I like to stress this point you do not conquer
driving you do not beat a fear of driving you don't fix driving anxiety anyone who talks
about conquering things is an idiot because you don't conquer it that gives the impression that
you're fighting it that it's an evil part of you that you're trying to beat and put down and stop
no this part of you that is giving you driving anxiety is a friendly helpful part the reason
it's given you that problem is because it's trying to get some attention remember your unconscious
mind can't speak to you with words so it's your unconscious mind thinking I need help here get
me help I'm going to give you driving anxiety until you sort this out because you need to
go and get professional help and then some idiot comes along and says I can help you conquer your
fear of driving you're not conquering anything you're just making it worse by fighting something
that wants to help you so then the problem thinks well you're not listening to me so I know instead
of driving anxiety I'm going to make you scared of trains flying I'm going to give you insomnia
I'm going to start you smoking I'm going to make you gain weight and the problem can get worse and
worse until you listen and get professional help where we go back we Trace while the real cause
is what's often known as the root cause of the problem and when you find this root cause it's
an incredible amazing moment I've had people who are speechless like five ten minutes they just
can't speak they're crying they're screaming of how people jumping up and down pulling their hair
out and one man his glasses fell off he had such a big reaction it's glasses weren't flying off
people cannot believe when they find out what a problem really is and the way I respond to this
because I've been through all this myself as a client I've done about 30 40 probably 50 sessions
as a client so I can experience this myself and I regularly practice with other therapists so I know
what my clients are going through and when I've done this the way I experience it is laughter I
just could not stop laughing when I found out what the cause was know why are you telling me that
is why I've got this problem in my life now nothing to do with driving this was something else
but when you find out what the cause is you'll either be stunned shocked amazed some people
are scared some people cry I've had some horrific things come up where people have taken the fear of
driving and we've gone to some very dark places and they've realized things happen to them as
a child that they weren't aware of and that gets very very deep so I don't want to put you off but
you can go to some dark places but most of the time it doesn't and we can deal with whatever
comes up and we can work through it and you can overcome your fear of driving check out these
videos on the screen now for more help overcoming your fear of driving and if you'd like to work
with me one-to-one online get in touch with me through my website 1stdrive.com and that will be
a link in the description thanks for watching and as always I'll see you again soon for more videos