- These are, what, apps?
You sure you got the right age group for this?
- "New oral sex app lets you give your partner an orgasm
by licking your phone."
- I'm of a different century, shall we say.
♪ (ragtime music) ♪
- (FBE) Okay, so for this episode, we're being sponsored by
the upcoming Warner Brothers movie Going in Style.
- "Going in Style."
Sounds like fun.
- (FBE) Which is about three friends who are elders like yourself,
whose pensions get canceled
and they have to take matters into their own hands.
They have to use their own unique life experiences
and try to adapt to a new era, using new sets of skills.
- (laughing) It sounds-- yeah, it's true you have to keep changing to adapt.
- Any time older people are shown as innovators and possessing wisdom
instead of being weak and silly, I say hallelujah!
- (FBE) So in this film, elders deal with the realities of life
in modern times, so we're going to show you
some new and not yet released information about various apps and tech
to see what you think about them.
- Let's do it!
- These are, what, apps?
You sure you got the right age group for this?
- You can't believe how... (laughing) how ancient I am
in terms of technology.
I mean, I used carbon paper.
- (FBE) So here is your first device.
- Uh, the i-Con Smart Condom?
What?
- The i-Con Smart Condom. Oh god.
- It's like a Fitbit, but for your penis!
- "It provides all the statistics men need to assess their sexual prowess."
- I'm not with it.
That goes too private.
- "Data includes duration of intercourse,
calories burned, number and speed of thrusts."
- "Number and speed of thrusts."
Oh my god.
- "Girth measurements and different positions used per week,
month, or year."
Or perhaps never.
- That's a waste of my time. That takes too long.
- Nonsense! That's not possible.
But I'm interested.
- (FBE) This device is not actually a condom itself,
but is a device that you put at the base of a condom,
and it essentially just keeps the stats of your sexual experiences.
- I think it takes a little of the romance away,
but, you know, if it makes my man happy, hey.
- That's going way too far.
If anything can be hacked, who wants to share that information?
- It's okay for hiking, it's okay for walking,
but stats for sexual experience, I think (laughing) no.
- (FBE) So is this something that you would have a need for these days?
- Hell no!
- (FBE) Okay, so now we're going to show you
info on a new dating app. - Oh boy.
- "Hater"-- (giggling) "is the app that matches you
based on what you hate."
(laughing)
- That's really sad!
- Hating is something you should work on changing.
- "Meet Haters.
Our algorithm finds your best matches based on your swipes."
Oh my goodness.
- "Play together.
Match when you both swipe right,
so you can hate on everything together."
It'd be good if you are a hater and you met a hater.
It's like, yeah, y'all haters get together and then leave.
- I like this.
If there's something that you both don't like,
there's got to be equally amount of things that you both do like.
- It's more important to find out what the other person loves.
- (FBE) What is something you hate that if someone else hated,
you'd be interested in dating them?
- Oh, cigarette smoke.
- I guess if they hated rude, inconsiderate people,
I could go for that.
- "You can hire fake pals to take lots of selfies with you
so you look popular on Facebook"-- oh my god.
Help me.
- You got to hire people to take selfies with?
Jeez, go out on the street and find some people.
It'd be cheaper.
- "Customers choose the age, appearance, and fashion sense of their rent-a-pals."
- This is really sad...
if you have to hire people to be your friends.
- "They cover expenses and pay the actors
for every two hours they spend pretending."
Hmmm, interesting.
Yeah, I could see doing that.
"What have you been up to?"
And then you say, "Well, this is what I've been up to.
See my new pals?"
- It's just awful.
You better start looking into yourself.
Like, what is it about you that you don't have a friend.
- We got enough fake stuff going on right now,
so... that one right there, they can keep.
- I am too old for this, apparently,
because I think it's just ridiculous!
- (FBE) So do you think the art of meeting new people
and making new friends is being lost on this younger generation?
- Of course it is.
If you go for something like this.
You're going to have fake friends to make yourself popular?
Give me a break.
- Uh, a little bit, yeah.
One-on-one is a lot better than email-to-email.
- "New oral sex app lets you give your partner an orgasm
by licking your phone."
- Really?
Oh, I don't believe that.
- That one's a little TMI for me.
- That is the biggest piece of shit I've ever seen in my life.
- "O-Cast allows you to use the app to lick or touch your phone screens."
Well, that's disgusting unto itself.
- "The movements are then recorded and is uploaded to the O-Cast store
for women to purchase."
- I kind of like the old-fashioned way.
You know, this seems like it just takes the fun out of it.
- I'm all for it. (laughing)
It's new, everybody likes orgasms.
I mean, come on!
- Why are these things being done?
So people just don't have to see each other at all?
I'd rather be there.
- It's absolutely ridiculous.
There's no way a phone can recreate a tongue!
Why do people keep taking intimacy, the beauty of intimacy
with someone special, and making it just cold?
- (FBE) Now if you want to share your creation,
your O-Cast publicly, you can upload it for other users
to see and experience. - Oh my goodness. Okay.
I'm of a different century, shall we say.
- O...kay, is that like group sex? (laughing)
Actually, swim parties, like group sex, you actually were all there.
You don't have to anymore!
It sounds much duller.
- There might be some lonely people out there
who would want to take advantage of it.
I certainly would not.
In my youth, my vivid imagination took care of everything.
- "Hushme is a bizarre high tech mask that blocks the sound
of the wearer's voice so that people nearby can't hear
what's being said."
Oh yeah.
This one, this one I like.
- "When you get a private call, all you have to do
is put the muzzle-like mask on and it will do the rest."
(laughing) Okay.
Looks a little weird.
- I don't think it's necessary.
I would probably just walk away someplace and talk.
- So now this enables you to have private conversations
in a crowded restaurant.
You should have private conversations when you are by yourself.
- You'll be somewhere and someone will be on the phone, talking,
and everybody in the room can hear it.
Nah, get a grip. This is great.
- (FBE) So do you think this is a good new product?
- Yeah, I guess, if you don't want people eavesdropping in your conversation.
- Oh, that's fabulous, man.
I can't wait to get my hands on that.
- No, it's absolutely horrific.
Stop being so lazy and just get up and make a call someplace else.
- I've walked through Costco, I've been at amusement parks
where I'd like to shove one of this on someone's face!
- (FBE) And finally, to end the episode, we're going to show you
a couple videos made by the cast of the Going in Style movie
that sponsored this episode. - Okay.
I've already seen some of the commercials.
I relate.
- New school versus old school.
- (Freeman) This is Morgan Freeman from Going in Style.
- Yeah, Morgan Freeman.
- I'd go see just about anything he's in.
- (Freeman) Here to teach all of you young folk
what to do when your tech dies
and you don't have GPS in the car. - Show 'em, Morgan.
- (Freeman) It's called a map. - (cracking up)
- (Freeman) It's called a map. - (laughing)
- (Freeman) Step one: open the map. - It's a lost art.
- (Freeman) Find your destination.
There.
Plan your route!
(soft applause)
- (Freeman) That's all there is to it.
- That's how we got around.
We had to look at a map!
- Amazing stuff, huh?
- You know, we did manage without phones once...
and GPS, we actually did.
- (Caine) This is Michael Caine. - Oh, Michael Caine!
- Oh, I love him.
- (Caine) I'm here to teach you how to write a good, old-fashioned letter.
- Right on.
- Yes!
- No one writes letters anymore.
- (Caine) Real human emotion takes more than emojis and acronyms.
- (laughing)
- (Caine) Here we go.
First, you get a pen or a pencil.
Next, put the point directly onto the paper.
- (chuckling)
- (Caine) Begin to write it all out.
- (laughing) Most kids don't know how to do handwriting.
- (Caine) All that's needed is an envelope...
- (snickering)
- (Caine) ...to mail it in... - (snickering)
- (Caine) ...and a friend to read it.
- Nobody has pen pals anymore.
- (Freeman) "Dear Morgan." Somebody wrote me a letter.
- (chuckling) A short one.
- (Freeman) Ahem. "Dear Morgan... the bucket list?
More like the suck it list!"
- (laughing)
- I love Morgan Freeman.
- I can relate to that.
I talk to young people all the time and tell them
when they screw up or something, hey, it's all right.
You're young.
You don't have any life experiences.
You don't know.
- Michael Caine and Morgan Freeman are in it?
Yeah, I'd love to see it probably.
For once, you found something I'd like to see.
- I'm totally going.
And I'm getting a senior ticket to see it.
(laughing)
- Hey, everyone, thanks for watching this episode of Elders React.
- For new content every week, subscribe, and don't forget to hit the bell.
- Thanks for watching, everyone. Bye!
- Hey, guys, Kyle here, a producer at FBE.
Thank you so much for watching this episode of Elders React
and thank you to our sponsor Warner Brothers new movie, Going in Style,
in theatres everywhere April 7th, so go check it out!