- It's just the fourth customer
that's complained about your hygiene.
- Are you sure it's the egg salad thing?
- It's a big part of it.
- Well, what am I gonna eat for lunch, John?
- I don't know, turkey?
- Well, I'm allergic.
- Yo.
Finished the door style load.
And I got the decking to Mrs. Coyle.
- Nice.
- Yeah.
- You're not fucking her, right?
- What? No.
I'm not fucking her.
I went to her house,
I dropped of the decking,
she signed the invoice and then.
Yeah, I fucked her.
- Jesus, Tom.
How?
- Well, mostly regular,
but she's also into doggy style.
- No, not how, like.
Tommy, her husband's a maniac.
- Yeah, yeah.
- You gotta stop doing this, please.
Come on. Stop.
Do it for daddy, okay?
- For daddy.
- Seriously, stop.
Don't tell anybody either.
- Okay.
Who am I gonna tell?
- He's not banging her, right?
(guys chattering)
- Nah
♪ Got a great pizza delivery service idea
♪ I'll probably take it on the Shark Tank
- Perk.
♪ Drink all the drinks
♪ Flip all the tables over
♪ Because I'm that mother fucker
♪ You know me ♪
- Perk.
Coffees, Perk.
♪ You're fucking with a grown man
♪ I'm gonna kill them with my own hands ♪
- I guess I got stuff to work to.
(guys laughing)
- John, I wanna talk to you.
This is a family business.
Your grandfather.
Your dad.
Now, me.
But there comes a time, John,
when hands need to change.
Okay?
I'm a marble in the wind, man.
I wanna.
Look, life if more than this
and I'm retireded.
I want to retire.
- What?
- John, I'm retiring.
- Uncle Russ, I don't know if you slept weird
last night, or something,
but I can run this place.
I've been here for 10 years.
- It's not.
- It's not that, Johnny.
- Why is Gordy here?
- That a new vest?
- Uncle Russ, why is Gordy here?
(knocking)
- He's my son, John.
Family business, right?
(bang)
- Oh, hell no.
- Ever since Nathan got back,
he's been acting super weird.
- So then the judge sided with my landlord.
Long story short,
I now have three iguanas.
- That's still a lot of iguanas.
- Shut the fuck up.
- Shannon, if I wanted to hear your mouth
I'd put my ear up to your step dad's dick.
- Merry Christmas
all of you!
(laughs)
- Where'd you get that from?
- I bought it.
- You didn't buy that.
- You paid for beers with quarters last night.
- Found it.
I stole it for us.
- You stole it for us?
That's how homeless dudes propose.
- Okay, well then, you're not gonna fucking use it.
- I'll probably still use it.
- Look what I got us.
- Ten years.
I've been here.
You know I've been working here.
Ten years.
- What's wrong?
What is going on?
- My cousin, my cousin.
- What?
- Hello, everybody.
You guys know Gordy, right?
- Is it bring your daughter to work day?
- Ha. Ha. Ha.
Does she know we're here?
(video plays)
- We've gotta talk.
- Hey, sweetheart.
You're gonna have to turn that down.
- Oh, I'm sorry.
Suck my dick.
(video plays)
- Good meeting everybody.
- [Video] No, you're a bitch.
End of story.
- Izzy.
I've got an idea.
- Calm down.
Look, I wanted to tell you.
But I knew you'd react like this, John.
- Like what?
Like this is bullshit?
This is my family's business, Russ.
- Oh, I'm not family now?
- No, you married in.
- Oh, come on.
- That's different.
That doesn't count.
- John.
- Hey, this is my dad's business.
- Oh, it is?
Yeah, yeah.
- Where's your father?
Last I've heard, he's having a fist fight
with a slot machine, John.
Got the Christmas card, though.
(bells chiming)
(Middle Eastern music)
- The sign says Potter and Sons Lumber, okay?
No fucking, married in and dildo.
- That would never fit on a sweatshirt.
- Nobody would put in on a sweatshirt.
They wouldn't out it on a sweatshirt
because you married in.
(phone dial)
(ringing)
- Potter Lumber.
- [Tommy] Shannon. Tommy.
I've got a paintball (mumbles).
- [Russ] Who knows what Tommy has on his penis.
Do sex all over town.
- Doing sex?
- Come on.
- What do you mean, doing sex?
You know, this is why you don't do sex.
- Okay.
- [Russ] That's why I nailed it right out of the gate.
- This lady wants to talk to a manager.
Would that be you? (Tommy laughs on phone)
- God damn right.
- Potter Lumber.
- Hey, I'm like an old lady
and I'm in the yard or whatever.
- What's going on out there?
- [Tommy] I'm mad about your customer service.
- The lady wants to talk to a manager,
so I'm handling it.
How can I handle you?
- Okay.
- What?
You don't handle, I handle.
He doesn't handle anything.
- John's been here for a long time.
- Because I've been away at university.
- Are you talking about college?
Why are you saying university?
What is he, British?
Fuck you.
- Will you send out a manager, asap,
or I'm going on my period everywhere.
- What're we doing, dad?
(mouth clicking)
- [Russ] Give me a second.
- Dude, I could scratch my chin with my boner, right now.
(Middle Eastern music)
(gun shot)
- Fuck!
(exciting music)
- A little to the right.
(yelling)
(laughs)
- It's a new era, all right?
It's time we start acting like professionals
around here.
(squealing)
- What the fuck is that noise?
- Dad, open the door!
- Gordy!
- Open it!
I can't get the handle.
My hand's sliding off from the paint
that bruised me!
Open it!
- He's fine.
- Fire them!
Fire them all!
(music)