People sing along to, “Sweet Caroline."
"Bum bum bum!”
It’s almost a lyric now.
I said, “Charlie, what would a song sound like in 2018 with that sentiment?”
And immediately… (singing)
I talk a lot of shit in my records and um, like “Attention”, “How Long.”
And I realized that I hadn’t put a record out that was about my anxiety, about my insecurities
that I’m pretty sure a lot of people in this world share with me so why not put a
record out like that that people can sing along to?
The thing that people have in the back of their head in LA is that they wanna go out
and have a good time but they’re also secretly 2% hoping that there’s a paparazzo or a
picture-taker there.
There’s nothing wrong with anybody who does that.
It’s just something I don’t wanna do.
But it was something that I felt like I had to do when I put my first album out because
I thought that’s what a famous person was supposed to do.
It took me 2 years to figure out that I didn’t need to do that.
I just had to take a step back there for a while
and realize who my true friends were, who would be a good girl for me to hang out with
and I just haven’t found that yet.
I want something that’s real.
I mean...
I even talked about it in another song of mine called, “Boy,” where I thought I
found someone.
She just wanted the...
the clout.
What does Lil Xan say?
I made myself this promise in the beginning when I was at my home in New Jersey starting
the album because I was looking up articles of myself, shamelessly of course.
And I was known for who I was dating more than my music.
People were forgetting that I was actually a singer.
And that was not good and multiple people told me that wasn’t good.
I worked too hard to have that reputation.
So I just did like a slight steer to the left and brought it back to the music.
I honestly feel better mentally than I ever have in my life.
I don’t deserve to feel this anxious all the time.
I feel like I deserve all these accolades that I’ve received from the hard work but
I don’t deserve to be so unhappy at times.
I think that nothing, literally nothing I make is good.
I still listen to, “Attention,” and I think, “I should have used a different kick drum.
The whole record itself could have been a little bit louder to match the frequency of
these other records that did really well.”
I’m never the man in my eyes.
I’m never going to think that I’m the greatest record producer or the greatest singer
of all time.
I think that’s what forces me to progressively get better each year, which is why 2015 me
sounds nothing like 2018 me.
Cash and I couldn’t think of anything at that part.
That was my dummy lyric.
Nothing felt as good as, “Yeah this is what you wanted.”
That section makes no sense.
It’s not directed towards anybody.
I’d tell you.
You’d know.
I’m an open book.
But that section literally has nothing to do with the song.
It’s just a vibe.
It just feels good.