>> OFFICIANT: Isabella, do you take Rudolfo as your husband?
>> ISABELLA: I do.
>> OFFICIANT: Rudolfo, do you take Isabella as your wife?
>> RUDOLFO: I mean...
[SLAP SOUND]
>> RUDOLFO: Okay! Yes.
[♪ Here Comes the Bride ♪] >> RUDOLFO: Jesus Christ. [BLEEP].
[MUSIC]
>> ISABELLA: This place is amazing.
>> RUDOLFO: Yeah, it's [BLEEP] amazing.
>> ISABELLA: Look at the little girl!
She's so cute!
>> RUDOLFO: Look, look, look what's she's doing, look what she's doing.
You didn't see that?
>> ISABELLA: No.
>> RUDOLFO: Look, look, look right now, she just did it again. Look!
>> ISABELLA: You're scaring her.
>> RUDOLFO: Do me a favor, hold this. Son of a [BLEEP].
>> ISABELLA: What the hell are you doing on the ground?
>> RUDOLFO: The little girl!
>> ISABELLA: Are you kidding me? You're always sleeping! >> RUDOLFO: It's not my fault!
>> GRETA MENCHI: Bonjour!
Uh, what do you want to drink?
>> ISABELLA: Can I have a water?
>> GRETA MENCHI: Okay! For you?
>> RUDOLFO: I'll go water too, please.
>> ISABELLA: Do you know where the bathroom is?
>> GRETA MENCHI: Oh sure, just inside. Yeah.
>> ISABELLA: Thank you.
>> GRETA MENCHI: You sure you just want water?
>> RUDOLFO: What?
>> GRETA MENCHI: I don't have time. She's coming back. I think I love you.
I love you! You understand? From the moment I first saw you.
I can't anymore! I fell in love with you.
I beg you my god...No!
>> RUDOLFO: What's going on?
>> ISABELLA: Hey!
>> GRETA MENCHI: Hi! Oh, his shirt was dirty. Dirty shirt.
>> ISABELLA: I cleaned it yesterday!
>> GRETA MENCHI: I'll be right back with your drinks.
>> ISABELLA: Thank you so much!
>> GRETA MENCHI: Yeah. >> ISABELLA: She's so nice
>> RUDOLFO: I think I just got sexually assaulted.
>> ISABELLA: The tour! Come!
>> RUDOLFO: This is the tour guide?
>> ISABELLA: They said he's the best.
>> RUDOLFO: Hello?
>> ISABELLA: Hey!
>> TOUR GUIDE: Welcome to Venezia! Please follow me.
Stairs.
>> RUDOLFO: No [BLEEP].
>> TOUR GUIDE: This is a wall!
Door.
People.
Bird.
1,000 dollars.
>> RUDOLFO: For what? You didn't do anything. You showed us a door.
>> ISABELLA: Just pay him!
He's pretty good.
>> RUDOLFO: Come on. Come here, let's talk.
Okay listen, this has been the worst [BLEEP] day of my entire life.
>> ISABELLA: What do you mean? We're in Venice.
>> RUDOLFO: I'd rather go to Venice Beach, California. This sucks.
>> ISABELLA: What? We saw a little cute girl.
>> RUDOLFO: Are you talking about the demon child?
>> ISABELLA: A nice waitress.
>> RUDOLFO: The prostitute?
>> ISABELLA: We saw the best tour guide.
>> RUDOLFO: You mean the drunk guy? That's what I saw.
>> ISABELLA: What do you want?
>> RUDOLFO: You wanna know what I want
>> ISABELLA: Yeah.
>> RUDOLFO: I want UberX, not a god [BLEEP] boat with people taking pictures of us while we're trying to shoot a YouTube video.
>> ISABELLA: You know what I want?
>> RUDOLFO: No. I don't care.
>> ISABELLA: Well I'm telling you anyways.
I want to have children.
>> RUDOLFO: Okay, on second thought, maybe we should just stay, it's not that bad here, maybe we should just stay.
>> ISABELLA: We're not! This is not working.
>> RUDOLFO: You know what? You're right. It's not working. Our marriage is over.
>> ISABELLA: Okay! Bye!
>> RUDOLOFO: Oh wait! Your phone.
>> ISABELLA: Yeah, my phone!
>> RUDOLOFO: That would have sucked.
>> ISABELLA: Idiot!
>> RUDOLFO: [BLEEP] you.
[MUSIC]
Holy [BLEEP].
She has 7 million followers?!
[MUSIC]
Hey.
>> ISABELLA: What are you doing here?
>> RUDOLFO: Listen.
I think I made a mistake.
>> ISABELLA: What made you change your mind?
>> RUDOLFO: Your instagra-, uh, my, our, my love for you.
>> ISABELLA: Really?
>> RUDOLFO: Mmhm.
Okay. Let's promise right now to never ever fight again.
>> ISABELLA: Promise.
>> RUDOLFO: I promise.
This was a mistake.
>> ISABELLA: I hate you.
[EXIT MUSIC]