You've got to make it clear to him,
I don't like this.
This doesn't work for me
and don't say it just like that.
Express yourself in a calm
loving manner, all right,
but do express yourself.
(Music)
Hey, what's up everybody?
This is Stephan Labossiere
aka Stephan Speaks,
back with another dating advice
and relationship advice video.
Today, we're going to be talking about a topic
that the women have been asking me about.
Now, before we get into it.
As always, be sure to like this video,
share this video, subscribe to the channel,
and leave your comment below.
Why do you think he takes so long to reply?
Why in the hell are these men
taking so long to reply?
Now, listen, let's be clear.
Yes, women do this too.
Let's just get it out of the way right now.
But this video is about the men
because this is the question I have been asked.
So, let me also acknowledge and admit
that I am... I guess you can call
a delayed texter, all right.
I am guilty of taking
a very long time to reply.
So, I'm going to give you
perspective both from
how I feel or why I do it
and shedding light on why
other men do it, all right.
And now one last thing
before we really get into it,
get your copy of He's Lying Sis,
it will uncover the truth behind his words
and his actions.
I got the link below in the description.
And in the comment section,
you are going to love it.
Women are going crazy for it.
He's Lying Sis,
which will shed some light even more
on some of the things that we're talking about today
and expand on it, all right.
But let's get into it,
why he takes so long to reply.
So, number one,
and in no particular order.
He's really that damn busy.
I mean, listen, and I know, I know,
no one is that busy,
no one is too busy to reply.
Granted,
I'm not going to deny that
when a man is truly into you,
he will make time for you, all right,
I don't ever want to contradict myself
by saying anything other than that.
However, I can also
speak to the fact that,
when a man actually has
things going on in his life,
his response time is going to be
a little bit more,
all over the place compared
to some of the other guys, okay?
Because there can be moments
where he's not actually by his phone,
there can be moments
where he's locked in,
doing work on his computer
or at his job.
And he's not able
to respond as fast.
Now, I don't want that
to simply be an excuse.
I do think that
if a man is willing to
be serious about... Not willing to be serious about you.
Is serious about you
and willing to work with you on things,
then there could be a structure created that
minimizes all these delays
or at least put you in the mindset of
understanding what may be bad times for him
due to work and so on and so forth.
However, it doesn't change the fact
that yes, sometimes, delay is actual busyness.
And now, let me add this to this point
because this is very close to home for me.
I know that because I'm so busy.
And because I have so much going on.
Then if you text me
and you text me in a way that
requires a real conversation
or a thought out answer,
I'm not replying.
Because in that moment
I don't have the mental bandwidth,
the space to process what you're asking me
and to make sure I respond
correctly or accordingly to that
statement, question, or whatever the case may be.
So, in that instance,
I'm going to hold off on replying
until I can gather myself, think it through,
and now act on it and respond.
And unfortunately,
because the day can go in so
many different directions,
I could literally look at the text in the morning
and then be like, all right, I don't...
I can't think right now,
let me hold off on this.
I'll get back to this individual.
And then blink my eyes
and the whole damn day has passed.
And I'm just not getting an opportunity
to finally sit down and process.
Now, if you're a man watching this
or a woman who's a delayed texter as well,
I will offer this solution.
It would be best for us
to in that moment say hey,
I can't really answer right now.
Let me get back to you later.
That at least gives the courtesy
of acknowledging the incoming text
and saying, listen, expect a delay
because I can't handle processing this right now.
And the individual who text you
or reached out to you
has to be understanding of that.
That is a solution.
So, I'm not going to just make excuses for it.
I'm going to offer solutions, all right.
But the reality is that yes,
that does happen.
The person is simply busy, all right.
Number two,
he don't feel like talking to your behind.
Now, listen,
I'm not dropping me
and I really... I promised you I'm not.
But the reality is that
yes, in some moments,
he doesn't feel like communicating.
Now, again I don't want to make excuses
for a behavior that can become
very unhealthy and toxic for a relationship, all right.
Though, I'm laughing.
I sincerely want to help make communication better.
And again, that man or that individual
has to learn how to better communicate.
But the truth
if we're going to lay out all the reasons
is that yes,
there are times where you're just not in the mood,
where you don't want to be bothered,
and so you don't feel like responding.
Because again, for many people
they view a response as a,
as a welcoming of conversation,
it's like if I respond to this
I may have to be prepared to text a few more times
or to now get on the phone,
when I'm not prepared
to go down that path at the moment.
So, to avoid the entire thing
and I'm not saying that's the right way to handle it.
But what that person is processing at that moment is
let me not respond at all, all right.
So, again, solution,
it would be best for the individual
to simply text back,
hey, not in a good mood to talk right now,
let's touch base later, all right.
This way, they can achieve their desire
to not really have to get into a conversation.
And you the sender of the text and reaching out,
can at least be satisfied by being acknowledged.
And know, okay,
they at least let me know they got it.
We'll talk later.
But it's very important as the person
who is trying to communicate that time,
that you are understanding when that
individual is open and transparent with you,
and says,
I'm just not in the mood right now, all right.
Number three,
reason and you're not going to like it.
But again, I got to give it to you real.
Number three reason why
he takes so long to text you,
because he's not that serious about you.
Listen, here's the reality, as we said in the first thing,
when a man is serious about you,
when a man is really into you,
he's going to make time.
But when he's not,
he's going to be less willing to try to accommodate
responding and communication
and all these different things.
Now, I don't want you to simply jump to that conclusion
if he has been a delayed responder
in your interaction with him.
I want you to first address the situation,
let it be known that you don't like these
lack of responses
or how long it takes, all right
and see if you guys can
get on the same page about it.
But the reality is that, yes,
there are a lot of men who this is a clear sign
he's just not serious.
And so, if you address it with him,
you let him know it's a problem,
and he still continues to do it,
he don't give a damn,
he just doesn't.
You know, and I know that might hurt
to have to hear that and accept that.
But it's better that you accept this,
so that you can let go and move on.
Because he has to be willing
to work with you on this issue,
again, I gave you guys reasons,
but I'm also trying to give you guys solutions.
And so, there are solutions here
if this individual wants to really be in your life.
But I don't want you to be dwelling on,
oh my Gosh, he's always taking so long.
Why don't I hear from him?
Like, no, just talk about it,
just ask him. And that's the other thing like,
rather than another reason,
the solution to all this is talk to the man about it.
Let it be known it's a problem.
Again, I know that some of you may say well,
listen, it's common sense.
If you're serious about me,
then you should be responding quicker.
However, times have changed.
Unfortunately, we live in a very digital world,
we live in a world where texting
has become more common.
And we live in a world where people have
become lazier with their communication.
And unfortunately, because
so many relationships are accepting of the laziness
or tolerating the laziness.
Some people then take these
bad habits into new situations,
new potential relationships.
So, their neglect in that area
isn't always a blatant disrespect,
it isn't them clearly saying always,
I just don't care about you
that's why I'm not responding quickly.
It's them not understanding
this is a problem because
their last few situations
allowed them to think this was
acceptable behavior, all right.
You've got to make it clear to him,
I don't like this.
This doesn't work for me
and don't say it just like that,
express yourself in a calm
loving manner, all right,
but do express yourself.
Do make it clear and then again,
provide solutions even yourself.
If you're watching this video
and you're going through this right now,
say to him listen,
if you can't get back to me
or you can't have a conversation
with me right now,
just text me back and let me know.
Just give me a heads up.
Hey, I got your text,
let me get back to you a little bit later,
that at least helps.
It may not satisfy the whole situation
because again, he can hit you back with that
and still not hit you again for 24 hours or whatever.
And that's going to be a problem for you, all right.
If it's not a problem for you, cool,
but if it is,
then that still needs to be addressed.
But it gets to a point we just have to accept,
you know what, these men are just aren't...
That man, let me not say these men,
because I don't want you to project this on all men.
That man and that specific situation
may just not be serious enough about you.
And if that's the case, so be it.
Let him go move on,
prepare yourself for a bigger
and better things, all right.
So, those are some of the reasons
why he's taking so long to reply.
Now, I'm going to throw some stuff out there.
I don't like doing this. I really don't,
but I'm going to throw it out there just for
the sake of keeping it all the way real.
So, let's talk about it.
Here's some bonus reasons why
he takes so long to reply.
He's in a relationship.
Now, again, like I said, I am not trying
to paint negative pictures in your head
and pour this kind of mentality into you.
However, it's a reality.
It is a truth, but again,
it's not what you should jump straight to.
You should not automatically assume just
because a man has not responded quickly,
then that means he has someone else.
But is it a reality
that that's what happens in some situations?
Absolutely, yes,
it does, it does.
I can't deny that, all right.
But again,
even if that's the case,
then you addressing it
and trying to find ways or offering up or
suggesting ways on how we need to improve,
well, if he's in a relationship
he will not be able to improve.
So, you don't really need to get to the
bottom of does he have someone else?
You have to first focus on
can he correct the behavior?
And if he corrects it, we're good?
Well, at least I mean hopefully
he doesn't have actual relationship.
But we're good If he can correct that
we can work with it here.
But if he has one,
he won't be able to correct it.
In most cases, he won't, he won't.
And so he's, he's exposing himself,
will be to the fact that he is not able
to improve on the behavior
that you have deemed a problem
for your relationship with him, all right.
So, I just want to throw that out there because
I'm not going to lie to you, it was hitting my spirit
and I felt like I needed to say it because it's real
and some of you are going
through that right now.
But again, talk about it,
address the issue in a calm loving manner,
offer up the suggestions, all right.
Be understanding,
but create better structure
of communication.
I think for a lot of people,
the struggle of communication is due to the fact
that there's not enough proper structure.
And what I mean by that is,
if you are dealing with a busy person
or you may be a busy person as well.
When you guys can come to an understanding that,
you know what, during these times,
it is our time to talk, all right.
Outside of this, we're a little bit more flexible
because we understand there's work,
there's this going on.
But if we both work nine to five,
maybe we agree, all right,
listen, from eight to nine
that's our time.
And it may not be every single day,
but you find a structure
that works for you guys.
That allows there to be healthy communication,
satisfies your need to bond together,
and to be in touch with each other.
But it's flexible with each other so that you guys can
tend to your other obligations as well, all right.
So, I hope and pray this was helpful to you.
Again, as always,
leave a comment below.
Why do you think he's taking so long to reply?
Be sure to like this video, share this video,
subscribe to this channel,
and I'll see you in the next one.
(Music)