BEFORE WE GO ANY FURTHER, IT IS THE FIRST NIGHT OF HANNAH
HANUKKAH, SO HAPPY HANUKKAH TO ALL WHO CELEBRATE.
I CELEBRATE CHRISTMAS BUT IN HONOR OF HANUKKAH TODAY I LISS I
COMPROMISED AND LISTENED TO CHRISTMAS MUSIC BY NEIL DIAMOND.
I LOVE HANUKKAH, IT IS THE FESTIVAL OF LIGHTS.
YOU KNOW, WE HONOR THE FESTIVAL OF LIGHTEDS, THE LIGHTS, THE
FESTIVAL LIGHTS.
YOU KNOW, THAT'S WHAT-- I DON'T KNOW A MASSIVE-- IAN, HELP ME
OUT.
I DON'T KNOW A HUGE AMOUNT ABOUT IT.
>> YOU ARE PRETTY CLOSE.
>> James: YEAH?
>> YEAH, ANCIENT ISRAEL WAS OCCUPIED BY A GREEK SYRIAN
EMPIRE LED BY KING-- WHO DIDN'T LET US PRACTICE OUR RELIGION AND
WANTED US TO WORSHIP THE GREEK GOD SO THEY DES CRATED OUR TERP
EL AND THEN LIKE A BUNCH OF JEWS WENT UP TO THE HILLS AND LEAD BY
THIS GUY MACABEE JUST POPPED DOWN AND STARTED WASTING THEM
UNTIL THEY LEFT AND WE WENT DOWN TO THE TERCH EL AND WERE LIKE
OH, MAN THERE IS ONLY OIL FOR ONE DAY AND IT LASTED FOR EIGHT
DAYS SO IT IS A LITTLE BIT ABOUT LIGHT AND A LOT ABOUT US DOING
CALL OF [BLEEP] IN THIS.
>> James: THAT RESPONSE WAS LONGER THAN I THOUGHT, WE MIGHT
HAVE TO CANCEL MEGAN THEE STALLION.
LET'S LOOK AT HEADLINES.
WE HAVE EXCITING NEWS TO REPORT.
AT LONG LAST ALL 50 STATES HAVE NOW CERTIFIED THEIR ELECTION
RESULTS OR AS TRUMP CALLS IT, NO, THEY DIDN'T.
WEST VIRGINIA BECAME THE FINAL STATE TO CERTIFY THEIR ELECTION.
THEY MADE IT OFFICIAL LAST NIGHT.
WEST VIRGINIA IS BASICALLY LIKE THAT FRIEND WHO RS-- RSVP'S THE
DAY BEFORE YOUR WEDDING JUST TO MAKE IT ABOUT THEM AM YOU KNOW,
BUT THIS IS BIG NEWS.
EVERY STATE NOW IS CERTIFIED AND AMAZINGLY STEER KORNACKI REFUSED
TO STOP REPORTING RESULT UNTIL IT WAS ALWAYS OFFICIAL.
HE GOT A PHOTO HERE AT THE END OF HIM AT THE END OF HIS WORKING
DAY.
OF COURSE JOE BIED EVERYONE IS ALREADY MAKING PLANS TO MOVE
INTO THE WHITE HOUSE NEXT MONTH AND TODAY IT WAS ANNOUNCED THAT
BIDEN PLANS TO QUOALT THOROUGHLY CLEAN AND DISINEFFECT ALL
FURNITURE, DOOR NOBODIES AND LIGHT SWIMPS BEFORE HIS HE AND
HIS TEAM MOVES IN.
TO BE FAIR HE WOULD HAVE DONE THAT CORONAVIRUS OR NOT.
I DON'T REALLY SEE THIS AS A BIG STORY.
I HAVE NEVER HEARD OF ANYBODY GO OH, WE JUST GOT THE KEYS TO OUR
NEW PLACE.
OH, CONGRATS, YOU CLOSED, YEAH, GOT THE KEYS, WE'RE NOT GOING TO
CLEAN T WE'RE JUST GOING TO GO IN.
WHAT DO YOU LIKE ON THE CLEANLINESS, HOW ARE YOU ON
CLEANLINESS?
>> Reggie: WELL, I GREW UP WITH MY MOTHER AS A HOUSECLEANER
FOR THE AIR FORCE BASE, SO SHE HAD TO DO WHITE GLOVE
INSPECTIONS, SO MY HOUSE GETS CLEANED TWICE A WEEK.
>> James: OH, GOOD FOR YOU.
I BOUGHT MY PARENTS-- WE NEVER HAD TO CLEAN, I BOUGHT MY
PARENTS A CLEANER TO GO IN THREE DAYS A WEEK.
I THOUGHT JUST TAKE THE LOAD OFF MY MUM, I GOT NEM A CLEANER.
AND MY MOM CLEANED UP BEFORE THE CLEANER CAME.
BECAUSE SHE DIDN'T WANT THE CLEANERS TO THINK THAT SHE WAS
MUKY AND DIRTY.
AND I WAS LIKE.
>> I DO THAT TOO.
>> James: THEN MUM, THAT IS REALLY JUST A WASTE OF MY.
>> I DON'T WANT THEM COME IN THE HOUSE, THE DISHES AND YOU KNOW
SWRZ WELL, WHAT IS SHE DOING THEN, JUST COMING IN AND SORT OF
WANDERING AROUND THE HOUSE.
>> I REALLY LIKE TO, WE HAD COFFEE THE OTHER DAY AND SHE
HEADED OUTLINING-- TRUE, THEY'RE DISINFECTING EVERYONE.
I WONDER WHAT HAPPENS TO DONALD AND MELANIA'S OLD BEDK SORRY LET
ME DO THAT AGAIN, I WONDER WHAT HAPPENS TO DONALD AND MELANIA'S
TWO BEDS.
IT IS A BIG JOB SHOW THOUGH, A BIG JOB THOUGH, HERE IS HOW FAR
BIDEN IS TAKING IT, HIS NEW SECRETARY OF THE INTERIOR WILL
BE ONE OF THE SCRUBBING BUBBLES.
I GOT TO LEVEL WITH YOU, AMERICA, THAT IS A REFERENCE I
KNOW NOTHING ABOUT.
>> Reggie: NICE.
>> James: I HAVE NO IDEA.
I WENT ALONG WITH IT THROUGH THE MONO, SOMEONE WITH THE GRAPHIC,
THEY SHOWED ME THE GRAPHIC.
I'M SEEING THAT FOR THE FIRST TIME.
WHAT ARE THE SCRUBBING BUBBLES.
>> IT IS ANOTHER HANUKKAH THING.
>> James: GOOD NAME FOR A BAND THOUGH.
>> OH, SCRUBBING BUBBLES.
>> SCUBIN BUBBLES BUT WITHOUT A G, SCRUBIN BUBBLES.
>> PUFFY HAD A BAND CALLED FUZZ BUBBLE ONCE.
>> James: WHO DID.
>> PUFF, A BAND I AUDITIONED FOR ONCE, IT WAS CALLED FUZZ BUBBLE.
>> James: FUZZ BUBBLE, WHAT IS IT LIKE AS AN AUDITION FOR A
DRUMMER.
I GET IF YOU ARE A SINGER YOU SING A SONG, IF YOU ARE A
GUITAR, I GOT THIS.
BA BA BOUN.
I GET TRK HI, I PLACE-BASE, WHAT HAVE YOU GOT.
♪ YOU KNOW, LIKE KEYBOARDS.
♪ DRUMS, YOU JUST LIKE-- AND THEY GO WELL THAT'S NOT VERY
GOOD, WELL, YOU CAN'T HEAR THE REST OF THE SONG.
>> I THINK IT'S BEST TO JUST TRY TO BE AS SUPPORTIVE AS POSSIBLE
TO EVERYONE ELSE AND TO TRY TO HIGHLIGHT YOUR VERSATILITY AS
MUCH AS POSSIBLE.
AS QUICKLY AS POSSIBLE.
>> James: WELL, I THINK I SPEAK FOR EVERYONE HERE TO SAY
WE WOULD LOVE IT IF YOU WOULD DO THAT HERE ONE DAY.
(LAUGHTER) >> I WILL TRY, I WILL TRY.
>> I WILL CONTINUE TO TRY.
>> James: NOW DOES EVERYBODY REMEMBER THE WOMAN WHO WENT
VIRAL BECAUSE OF HER TESTIMONY AT THE HEARING IN MICHIGAN LAST
WEEK?
IF YOU DON'T HERE SAY QUICK REMINDER.
>> I KNOW WHAT I SAW.
AND I SIGNED SOMETHING SAYING THAT IF I AM WRONG, CAN I GO TO
PRISON.
DID YOU?
>> James: WELL, THAT LADY IS MELISSA CARONE AND WE HAVE AN
UPDATE, APPARENTLY IF THE SUPREME COURT DECIDES TO HEAR
PRESIDENT TRUMP'S LAST DITCH ELECTION-- TRUMP SAID HE WANTS
HER TO APPEAR AS A WITNESS AGAINST, YOU KNOW, BECAUSE IT
WENT SO WELL LAST TIME.
NOW HERE'S THE THING.
THERE ARE NO WITNESSES IN THE SUPREME COURT HEARINGS AM BUT I
FEEL LIKE A BRITISH LATE NIGHT HOST SHOULDN'T HAVE TO EXPLAIN
THAT TO THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES.
THE SINCE HER VIRAL APPEARANCE HAS COME OUT MELISSA CARONE HAS
HAD TROUBLE WITH THE LAW IN THE PAST AND WAS ONCE A PERFORMER AT
THE BADA BINGE STRIP CLUB BUT LET'S NOT BRING THE BADA BINGE
STRIP CLUB THROUGH THE MUD BY ASSOCIATES IT WITH RUDY
I LIKE THE IDEA THAT IF SHE TESTIFIES THAT SHE WILL GET TO
THE STAND, OKAY, COMING TO THE STAND, PLEASE WELCOME THE ALWAYS
ENCHANTING, IT'S MELISSA.
MOVING ON, I DON'T KNOW IF YOU SAW THIS, A LIST WAS JUST
RELEASED OF 2020'S MOST MISPRONOUNCED WORDS.
APPARENTLY THE WORDS MOST COMMONLY MISS PRONOUNED THIS
AREA WERE FAUCI, KAMALA AND DA VINCI A AND SPECIFICALLY THE WAY
THAT I SAY KHAKIS.
NOW, I UNDERSTAND YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT I MEANK YOU THINK I JUST
SAID KHAKI, WE CALL KHAKI, THAT TO ME THAT IS WHAT STEVE
KORNACKI WEARS YOU CALL THEM CABBINGEES, THAT IS
RIGHT-- KHAKIS.
>> WHAT IF LIKE YOUR WIFE DOESN'T KNOW WHERE HER CAR KEYS
ARE AND SHE LEFT THEM IN HRKAC KHAKIS.
>> WELL, I THINK I HAD ENOUGH FORESIGHT TO NOT, YOU KNOW,
MARRY A LIFE PARTNER WHO WOULD WEAR CAR-KEY-- KHAKIS BUT FAUCI,
KAMALA AND DA VINCI, I DON'T WANT TO POINT FINGERS AT ANYONE
WHO MAY HAVE CONTRIBUTED TO THOSE MISPRONOUNCE YAITIONS THIS
YEAR BUT I DO THINK-- DA VINCI-- PLAYED A PART IN IT.
A LIST OF WORDS THAT AMERICANS MOST COMMONLY MISPRONOUNCE.
BUT AS A BRIT, WHO SPEAKS THE QUEEN'S ENGLISH, I MUST SAY, 90%
OF WORDS THAT YOU SPEAK IN AMERICA ARE MISPRONOUNCED, OKAY.
LIKE LET'S DO A LITTLE QUIZ, OKAY, IAN, REG, I WILL SHOW YOU
SOMETHING AND YOU SAY WHAT IT IS.
OKAY.
SO TAKE A LOOK AT THIS, THIS, DO YOU KNOW, LIKE WHAT IS THAT.
>> YAG-HURT.
>> YOA GUTTER.
>> James: ARE YOU RIGHT, A YOGHURT.
>> ALL RIGHT.
>> I KNOW I'M IN THE EATING IT SO.
>> James: ALL RIGHT BHARKS ABOUT THIS ONE.
>> ZEBRA.
>> James: YES, IAN.
>> A ZEBRA.
>> James: IT A ZEBRA.
>> WE CALL IT JAZZ HOSER.
-- HORSE.
>> James: THAT WAS ALSO ONE OF PUFFY'S BAND, WASN'T IT, JAZZ
HORSE.
>> James: YES, AND FINALLY ONLY ONE LATE NIGHT SHOW FRANKLY
HIT COURAGE TO BRING YOU THIS NEXT STORY, KUNG FU EXPERTS IN
CENTRAL CHINESE FILLAGE ARE TRYING TO SAVE A TRADITION THAT
THEY ARE CONCERNED IS QUICKLY FADING AWAY, IT'S KNOWN AS IRON
CROTCH KUNG FU.
TAKE A LOOK, YOU MIGHT FIGURE OUT WHY.
(LAUGHTER) I MEAN THAT IS NUTS.
IF I HAD TO GUESS I THINK THE ART FORM MIGHT BE DYING OUT
BECAUSE NONE OF THESE GUYS CAN PROCREATE.
HOW DO YOU EVEN DISCOVER THAT YOU ARE GOOD AT THIS?
I THINK SOMEONE DID IT ACCIDENTALLY AND THEY ARE WORK
WALKING THROUGH AND THEY ARE LIKE NO, IT IS FUNNING IF YOU
CROTCH, IT WORKS FEAT BECAUSE THE MASTERS OF THIS TRADITION
ARE GETTING PRETTY DE PRESSED ABOUT THE LACK OF INTEREST IN
THIS SPORT.
THE GUYS ARE WALKING AROUND LIKE A BUNCH OF SAD SACKS.
BUT TO HELP RAISE AWARENESS THEY ARE ACTUALLY MAKING A MOVIE
ABOUT THAT GUY, IT'S CALLED CROTCHING TIGER, BALLS ARE
DRAGIN.