(confusion intensifies)
You can literally see where my lights are based on the shimmer on my face, from all this oil.
(Mac Laff)
oOH BItch I'm greasy
how'rethekids?
M A C
so i'm finally caving
finally f ing doing this
first of all i'm STILL sitting on my floor
there has been no progress to this apartment since the last video
that shows you
how
much
I
care about myself????????
ooo
ooOoOoh
OKAHY SO
TikTok *ugh mac prepare yourself*
(long patent pending Mac Pause™)
is f ing musical.ly in disguise
BItCH
COME ON
people are all out here actin like tiktok is this New Improved Thing™
that came out of the blue and alluvasudn people were like Big and Famous on it
Literally like uh year and a half ago it waz just called Musical.ly
and Dats just been around the block for a couple
COUPLE minutes.
Now all of a sudden erebody's like,
omg tIK=TOk
iM soOoOO oBSessEd WitH TIk-toK
oOOooOOooo
TED TALK
WOooOAaaAAHH my GOD jfqjoifoeivrfivrh TED TALK!?
WOOOOOOooooOoOoOOoh
OoH oOh
*insert dying Mac dolphin noises*
SHUT UP SIRENZ!!!!
I am filming a video! That is just SO rude.
It is just Musically that re-branded itself.
Like, how genius is that!
Its the same goddamn lookin' app they just changed the name,
went from sum song notes, (WoOoOOoAAaH)
to a CLOUD.
Now everybody's actin' like it's sum new FAD, and because of DAT,
2DEY were talking about it.
I *silently questions life decisions* a m d e s p e r a t e f o r p e o p l e t o l i k e m e
OKaY nOw, this is still in the series of me doing things just for me.
I really want to understand this darn app.
*shameless plug* If you guys watched the video of me tRYinG to understand what Musically was,
*More Patent Pending Mac Pause™ layered over demon noises*
Then you know that
I just liek can't
get?
Someone called me an OG youtuber, like a month ago.
and I went through an entire
EXISTENTIAL CRISIS
So today we are (what are we doing today actually?)
idontevenknow
today we are talkin about tik talk
LETS TALK ABOUT TIK TALK
I'm a commentator channel now
FULL OUT
TIK TOK
CLICK CLOCK 'round yer
TIK TOK
MIG MAUK
*'My Parents are Disappointed in Me' Pause™*
p U S s Y
okay, "What Is Tik Tok?" you may ask
W E L L
it's an app
*Yet Another Patent Pending Mac Pause™*
lemme Google this
T I K T O K
also known as
DOO YO EE JIN
ooO
DOO yeeOIyin
do oh yENNN
mmm
*Oops, it's another Patent Pending Mac Pause™*
am I bein racist real quick?
IN CHINA
oh dayum I am bein racist
is a media app for creating and sharing
SHORT VIDEOS
yummeeYYYY
here it is
on November ninth, 2017
tik tok's parent company
ByteDam
spent up to one billion to purchase musical.ly
on the yapopular social media aJyablaHBLAHBLAHBLAH
B I T C H
it is literally
JUST MUSICAL.LY because it
B O U G H T I t
*Shook face while questioning life decisions*
why am I so angry *giggling*
now I tried to make a tik tok in the past
you were beggin me to do it for so long
so I did it
based on
the mUSicAL.lYs
I saw on my twitter
but it turns out the mUSicAL.lYs most people share
on twitter
are the ones they cringe at????
???????????????????????????
*Mac's Tik Tok skills have scared off the original typer and have summoned another to take their place*
So that's not-
I wasn't supposed to imitate it...
Now I've seen a lot of that
one girl with, like, the N A I L S.
drivin'
With the Starbucks
*Ah!!!*
HErEs The- *tap, tap*
MOtHer Fckn'!!!
*TaP tAp*
MOTHER FCKN'!!!
BTCHA$$!!!!!!
*Violent Tapping*
TEA!!!!!
DCK!
I don't know what she said...
Apparently people like-
DON'T like her,
and like,
Rip her to shreds on the in-
THAT'S SO MEAN!!!!!!!
That's so mean!!
Like, she just tryna tell y'all the TEA™
She just tryna drink her Starbucks-
and give y'all some info!
AND Y'ALL sittin' out here cyberbulling her on the internet
Like,
BTCH! C'MON!!!
Where's Melania Trump when you need her??
Wasn't that her mission????
She wanted to get rid of cyberbulling!?!?
*And here children you can see the famous Machaizelli Silence*
WHAT IS SHE DOING?!?!
What does MELANIA TRUMP do
during the day?? (I told y'all... she be drinkin' TEA™)
Like,
I WANT TO KNO-
wE GoN' GEt ThIS MONEYYYYY!!!!!💰💰💰💰
I'm going to learn how to become TIK TOK Famous!
That is the goal of the video
Cause, apparently, that's where the kiddies are goin'
That's where all the-
V I E W S ! !
are comin' from.
*Undesipherable Mac code*
Media moves SO FAST!
It moves S O F A S T !!!! (Add Sanic meme)
One day i just wanna be able to
sit down and drink some water (TAP-WATER!!!)
Without eleven different Tana Mongeaus'
hitting one million subscribers in ONE DAY.
Like, can we
S T O P having kids! (Turn to the anime Wifus ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Stop givin' them cellphones!!!! (AHEM AHEM SMART PHONES!)
L E T M E B R E A T H ! ! !
I sound like a grandpa in this video... (Now you realise Mac (¬､¬)
Let me, like, reiterate.
I know what MUSICAL.LY is
I know what TIK TOK is
OkAYYYYY!!!!!
I just don't get how........
(Ummm, Mac...)
I just want to figure out the reason why
These VIDEOS-
Are getting-
SO MANY GODDAYMN VIEWS!
And today i'm going to try... (you have 7000+ followers on Tik Tok so idk what u talkin' bout.)
Once again-
This video is 4 MEEEEE
Today we're gonna watch some Musical.lys (Sir... you are reviewing Tik Tok... Explain Please...)
Figure out-
W H A T!
And then try our best to make one ourselves!!!
OkAEy!!!!!
I went to twitter and asked you guys to send me your favourite Musical.lys' that you've found.
And now that i think about it-
That was probably like the W O R S T idea...
You guys (or Gays) are probabaly gonna send me some-
Weird a$$ Sht
Knowing Y'all.
Because y'all are just like me! (This is painfully Accurate...)
A bunch of Crackheads get to one room together and think that we're actually helping the world.
Move forward. (Because we are... ✧*｡٩(ˊᗜˋ*)و✧*｡)
You Crack addicts! (Let's see who's talkin' (￣ω￣)
AEHAHHAHHAHAAHHAHHHAHAHHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
T W I T T E R ! ! !
*Intermission*
Okay I'm back!
Sorry, I like
Fell down a hole.
I just started scrolling through twitter (like me at 3AM)
With like NO AGENDA (What about the Gay Agenda™)
Like,
I was acting like I was not just sitting here with my bright a$$ lights,
We're Back!!
We're Here!
We're Queer!
Maybe-
You don't know,
Maybe it's just for views...
(EXPOSED)
And it turns out I asked you guys to send me the
WeIRdESt-
Tik Toks you found.
So I'm (Idk what else Mac said here sorry -_-)
Me tryna call y'all crackheads.
I forgot I'm the-
Crackiest, Crack, that's ever Cracked...
Let's get into these Tik Toks!
Shall we TOK
goatman, i'm dancin on yer bredge
ITS MY BREDGE NAOW
hehEHE hoLY shIT
yOu Hear that? yoU WAnt me oFf this bredge you gonna hafta KiLl mE
you're gonna hafta throw me off this bregde yourself.
look at the way i dance on it.
i dISresPect your bregde gOaT mAn.
Mac Silently Questions Past Desions™
I SuRe diD tOk aT tHaT OnE
Let's unpack this.
In her room, with a sweater on,
covering her face, glasses down to her nose
looking like a meme? idontknow
I bet you this video has like, billions of hearts
i bet you.
That's how this app works.
You'll just see a bunch of like 13 year old boys
tryna act like they know shit
to like people just like not givin' a f ck about the world
and they all have millions of hearts,
all watched by like the same people too.
like there's no like separate audience.
it's all just like one big like... We out here
then like some like 13 year old girls dancing to hip hop.
There is a lot of young kids on this app.
a lot of young kids.
Which scares me
'cause I know everybody got access to the internet
and there's some people i don't wanna be lookin' at those kids..
(Gay Pause™)
..but i can't stop 'em
Apparently there's like a very rising Tik Tocker-
tiKTok-
Can I call you tik-
what di- what did they call-
i know Musical.ly called their people musers
which hurt my feelings
even though it doesn't really shOw
what do tik tok call their like tikkees
L I K E
tikeees? are they called tikkeees? can they be called tickis?
i'm callin' them tikkees. can they be called tiks? They're tiks bitch
it's ticks. it's just a bunch of tiks.
oH wHat do yoU dO fOr a liVinG
oH i'M likE tHiS nEw tHiNg oN ThE inTerNet
cAlleD a tik
i mAkE tiks
tHaT pEopLe tok aT
and I get a million dollars.
I went on a tangent.
There is guy with a rising TikTok of him just like yelling at his pets.
But not like normal pet- I'll just show you
-AGGLES LET GO OF THE F CKING PLUNGER
DON'T INSTIGATE IT
As you can see in this video,
he has two ferrets.
One of them will not let go of the plunger.
and this is like a VIRAL video
like this
is what TikTok IS
FOR F CKS SAKES LET GO
EW IS THAT PEE?
AgHh I STEPPED IN YOUR PEE- *mac is unimpressed*
and then he stepped in the pee
(The Gay Agenda Silence™)
this is VIRAL BITCH
Like how many dollars do he got now?
AaaaAAAHhhhAAHhaAAAAHAA
He dragged the plunger. Now,
the man has...
(Mac is jealous)
WORLDWIDE APEAL
What's that? You want more??
Let's watch another one!
pLuNGEr boiii
*mac laughs*
He called his ferret a plunger boi!
As a connection from his previous Tik-ToK
Showing us,
he
knows.
(Pending Mac Pause™ because his parents are ashamed.)
Where are the sirens when you need them.
Whadrudoijn, get out of ther'! O H M Y G O D, Are you serious whYYYY
As you can see, his ferrets have no boundaries.
Honestly, I'll probably sit there for hours
Watching videos of this guy's ferrets
Just being a f cking ferret
And just not care, ya know
I originally wanted this video to be, like, a reaction-esce thing?
But as I was watching them while they were coming in
the more I noticed I didn't really have a reaction.
I was just more mesmerized by???
(Mac is in shock)
just
wtf
I *clap* fella like *clap* that's where *clap* a *clap* lot *clap* of people *clap* are right *clap*now.
Now we've made it successful. We're wierd.
We are weird humans.
andyaknowwhat we like need to like, we, like, we're like, precious and sh t
and just do some weird assfuckery.
tHaT iS wHaT tIc tOcK iS.
oh wait, you wanna see one more of this dude, okay.
This time we have a duck.
s i l e n c e
this time we have a dUcK. tHaT's iT.
dude: JERRY GET OFF THE HOOD OF THE CAR YOU'RE nOt gOiNg jErRy!!!!!!!!!!!!!
GET oOoOoOoOFFFFFFFF!
as you can see, the duck's name is jerry and he will not get off the car because he wants to go somewhere.
we don't know if it's just some random duck that landed on the hood of his car and he just decided to name it.
we just know that he is now called jErRy.
cOmEdY!
guy: jErRy, jerry GET OFF!
JERRY I'M GONNA DO IT!
*windshield wiper sounds*
GET OFF!
*Mac Silence™*
the duck flew off! WHat a hApPy eNdInG!
Where's my dream?
Maybe I could do tic tok.
Maybe I can try it.
Maybe I just like post sections of my videos on the tic tok to see if they, like, catch on.
BITCH BITCH I DID IT SHUT UP LEAVE ME ALONE
random girl: So I may not be cute *zoom* and I may not be smart...
t h i s b i t c h c o p i e d t h e m a c s i l e n c e
Do all black people just have the same humor now?
what's happening whats *beep*
Someone replied: But why is she like Mac but in drags?
See, that's ME! I can do Tic Tok! I can be a tic toker! I can tic toking on that toking tic tic
with the tics!
That made so much sence.
But none at the same time.
random dude: finally i can keep these pennies to myself.
random dude: what the hell?
thing: i sMeLl pEnNiEs!!!!!!!!!!!
*insert perfectly cut scream*
.
..
...
mac is rebooting...
reboot sucess.
K. Yea.