- I'm Joe and I need help with online dating.
(soft latin bongo music)
- My name's Olivia and I spent several months
on several dating websites including Tinder.
- Hi I'm Devin and I make a lot of
profiles for all of my friends
and I met my boyfriend on OkCupid.
- My name is Kane, some people at the office
call me the love doctor because of the advice I give.
I've also been in a six year relationship
with someone I met online.
- [All] Hi Joe!
- Nice to meet you, panel.
- Now let's check out the profile.
- Which sounds like, needs a major overhaul.
- Read us your bio.
- BuzzFeeder slash badass, I make videos.
I mean I've had, like, longer ones
I've had shorter ones.
- [Olivia] Shorter than this? - [Joe] Yeah
- [Devin] Who are you, E.E.Cummings?
No no no no, anyway, so let's redo this.
First off, you should not say that you work at Buzzfeed.
If I'm going to date you, I more care
about who you are rather than what your job is.
- [Joe] Okay.
- Part of your conversation is like getting to know you.
If you already give them information,
there's nothing for you guys to talk about.
- So let's erase what you have.
- Joe, the awesome thing about you is that
you are interested in a lot of things and
you are, like, really cool to talk to and
your profile does not say any of that. (laughs)
- I think you should be honest with the ladies out there.
I think you should be like, there's a girl who already
has my heart and her name is Stella.
- [Olivia] Yes! (claps)
- Dig it, what's your favorite food?
- For a date, sushi.
- Sushi, okay.
- [Olivia] Yeah, sushi, love sushi.
- Can I use the word "aficionado"?
- Yes, oh my God, if you make aficionado
into a pun, sushi aficionado.
- I need to apologize for that one.
- Just say that and then in brackets,
show your real personality or sorry you had to?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Can you read it to us?
- Alright, I'm gonna be honest, there's a lady
who already has my heart and she's
a cuddly pitbull named Stella.
Filmmaker, sushi a-fish-ionado, sorry had to.
Resident badass.
- Yes! (clapping)
- (Joe) Oh my God.
- Now that we've fixed up his profile,
we're going to look at his photos.
- [Kane] No other girl, - [Joe] No other girl?
- [Kane] Is that your girlfriend, is that your sister?
- [Olivia] Yeah, and when you do that
it's more for you, it's not for us, you know what I mean?
- Okay, the first photo is too filtered.
No bathroom selfie, he's not smiling.
- Yea you kind of look, like, frozen,
you know, in your body.
So right now we're
checking out Joe's Facebook profile so we can
find better pictures for his Tinder.
- Oh, that's a great photo of you!
- What?! This is amazing!
- [Devin] This is a wonderful photo!
- Oh my Gosh, this is, this shows your face.
- This shows you in a very professional environment too.
A girl will be like, "Ohhh Okay!"
- [Devin] Alright, that's the new picture for you
- Cool
- Now let's go see your messages.
- So, what's the deal with this chica, Tracy?
- We talked for a little bit and then she,
I knew she was busy, she said she was busy and then
we like were gonna set up a date and it never happened.
- Look, she's writing you eight messages.
- That's a lot! - Whoa!
She's super interested dude, how'd you fuck this up?
- That's what I'm saying, I have no idea.
- I feel like you needed to give her, like,
exact dates about when to hang out.
Being like, this Saturday, like
rather than being like, let's hang out.
- [Kane] Yea, let's hang out this Saturday afternoon.
- It's great that, like, both of
you guys want to hang out but if you don't
take that actual step of defining it, then--
- [Kane] It get's lost and fizzles out.
- Yeah, yeah.
- Or maybe let's start a new conversation with Chloe
- [Joe] See Chloe, yeah. - Chloe's cute.
- Chloe does look like a cutie.
Might seem normal at first but upon closer
inspection, actually quite weird.
What if I swiped left on my soulmate?
Cute! - [Kane] That's cute.
- She's still a hard one to respond to though.
- [Devin] But, I mean, she's quirky-- - Yeah.
- which I think, opens a lot of doors.
You can't be weirder than me, I made a dragon picture.
- [Olivia] Yea, I have a dragon picture at the end of my
(laughs)
- [Kane] That's a good one I'm going to do that.
- I see your weirdness, I raise you one dragon photo?
- Yea, yeah. - That's cute, that's good.
- How were you weird today,
is a good question to follow through with it.
Send, send it!
- [Joe] Boom.
- [All] Yay! (clapping)
- It's good that we had a question there
so it invites her to respond with more stuff
and instead of just saying, yes or no.
- Also, if it's going well,
ask her on a date.
Do it like, say if you have
a back and forth for like, a day, I think
you can ask her on a date this weekend.
- And with all those pieces you can
help keep your conversation going
instead of kind of just dying in a slow death.
- Yeah, thanks guys!
I'm going to take that stuff into consideration.
I'm excited about my new profile and I'll let
you guys know how it goes.
- (All) Yay! (laughing and singing)