what now what next two questions we all
ask ourselves every single day whether
you're ten years old playing football or
you're thirty years all be a new parents
you want to know what do I do
and after I do that saying how do I
evaluate it is it the right thing is it
the wrong thing way my talk today I want
to share with you some concepts you can
use to entertain the step and evaluate
as you go as well all right these are
concepts for you to take stimulate
thought take it see yourself in it
wherever you are in life it is for you
that I'm just sharing with you as I use
as well so first I'll tell you who I am
my name is Marlo Clarke and I'm from
Barbados I know I know
it's beautiful 21 mile Long Island I was
born there I was seven years old I saw a
world map I remember looking at the map
I wondering well where's my island I was
a tiny dot on the map and I was like wow
I love it here but there's so many
people outside I want to go meet and see
and spend time with so seven years old I
made a choice to travel the world I
don't know what it would look like I'm
home that night I told my parents I'm
gonna go to Australia I see alligators
you know you're seven you have your
dream right now when I was 14 years old
I started working on that dream one of
my school mates became very famous I'm
in the combi Mir school I read a very
proud bunch and she became very famous
and I was like well she can do it I can
do it you know she was normal just like
me and if she can succeed I won't do as
well so I started watching and seeing
what she did so we're my class and if he
came famous whether it's athletics or in
cricket I'm part of my life story was to
find out what they did evaluated it
meant myself so then I started taking
some risk after she got famous I said I
need a sport to play so I started
playing rugby never heard of it before
I've been to on YouTube
I found it I'm insane five months I was
on a national team from Barbados playing
rugby
I traveled doing that and at 21 years
old I wanted to go and be a camp
counselor in America
I remember applying and say hey I want
to go to America date camp counselor she
said well what state you want to go to
well I ain't going to Iowa if you heard
about Iowa there's a whole lot in Iowa I
found a song and a song actually this
literally it was two minutes long and
the word corn was probably hunted times
in a song was corn corn corn corn look
the tree I don't remember you know going
there and I showed up it was June 3rd
overnight I went there and I was a
fantastic player my first did there say
you know what I'm gonna move here
someday I'm gonna live here and then
what it would look like but I was gonna
make it happen I'm into CEO I told him
hey sir I want to work for you he said
well you do I said no I want to move
here work for you do finish your degree
and then you finish it call me I will
talk about it I said that's not going to
work
I bought the Barbados I finished my
degree I thought all I had on my money
out I bought a plane ticket I got on a
plane the next week flew to Iowa walked
into his office and say Frank you told
me to call you when I got my degree I
want to work for you please here's my
degree he said are you serious was it
yep is it but I don't have any jobs or
money
oh thanks what I'll do I'll volunteer
for a month and in that month I'll be
pretty good and you'll find the money to
hire me a year later I moved there I
created a program called Y achievers the
program I ran was supposed to help young
people in a criminal system make
different choices and all I will show
you know are things that I use with my
young people in the program you know
they come to me stole a car committed
some crime how do I take them from where
they are to where they think they want
to be I think they should be so what now
and what next what do we do now how to
evaluate that so I want to share with
you in the next 12 minutes what I've
learned through working with young
people in America and traveling the road
as well integrating people all over the
world
so the first thing is in life we have a
passion we here a passion a lot what is
passion passion is a simple feeling it's
a strong feeling you have is why you
want to do something that is it there's
a feeling you have a very deep emotion
of why you want to do something I feel
like football is start if you have your
kids there your passion is why you care
is a fire in your heart and it's always
on
now when that passion is met with
intentional action it becomes your
purpose now when I said purpose I want
talk about going towards your purpose
purpose isn't a place
it is not a destination purpose is a
process you know as we aim to get the
purpose and it's over there when you get
over there I can guarantee you there'll
be one more over there again and then
you'll get there what happens it's over
there you get your degree you get your
job you get your family there's always
more over there don't focus on that
purpose is a process and contentment is
now so right now your students your
purpose is what you want to be so again
let's go through it
passion is why strong emotion intention
is what you do the simplest smallest
step but it's a phone call you make
reading a book are going to your job and
the purpose is what you want to be at
the end of this very very simple now I
feel for in tension and tension glues it
all together you have that feeling but
it's not your purpose yet the step you
take gets you there now with us that
what it will teach you is that I want
you to take action it may be the wrong
action but the wrong action taken on
purpose intentionally it's not taking it
to fail but doing something that may not
work out that is better than in action
or reaction in action did you do nothing
you did nothing so you learn nothing
reaction you just did it as a response
but when you take intentional action you
know the parameters that went into that
action or you can evaluate it I'm part
of it that we're passionate we really
care about that we know why and it
doesn't work out it's this appointment
and it hurts and that leads to pain and
this pain is very important in the whole
process because what I want to show you
how to use this be intentionally I'll to
take this pin you have it didn't work
out you had all the passion in the world
you didn't if all your heart and it
didn't work how do we take this pain and
process it to reinvest it when the pain
happens remind yourself why you started
always go back to that feeling you had
in the beginning before the action when
did you start why are you doing this so
now let's go through how to use this pin
now intentionally so the first thing is
we do something you take a strong
intentional step you understand why
we're doing it we implement it and
afterwards we get feedback
no that's rebrand
failure the word feel to your hits very
hard right let's take work feeling out
of it cause failure it followed by guilt
when you were seven years old you made a
mistake and you got yelled at and you
felt bad about it you felt shame and
guilt
so we've to be kind of stop taking you
actions I want to ask you right now to
go to your seven-year-old self I just
tell that young person it's not their
fault you made a mistake
it's okay we learn and we improve when
you do something you get feedback
positive or negative feedback
it is simply feedback no emotion don't
worry about it okay from this point what
happens next we need to think and
process that feedback we got you took
the action it worked but we do it again
we took it it didn't work why didn't it
work because you knew the parameters
that went into that action so you know
how to evaluate it and the secret is is
to go do it again because sometimes we
do it we succeed and we stop but the
process is is to continue improving when
we do it and it doesn't work what do we
do we block that feeling it feels
terrible is painful I'm thinking about
it
doesn't feel very good so why would you
do it well anyone anyone who's asked for
anything became really good at doing
things badly over a long period of time
any musician any sports person and the
academic they just had an environment
that allowed them to do things badly or
a long period of time and what allow us
to do that is vulnerability but
obviously is doing something knowing it
may not work out we have great teachers
and great coaches that allow us to be
vulnerable we do it intentionally the
only vulnerable annoying it may not work
doc sent a negative feedback again
vulnerability to think about what in the
equation that I do incorrectly there are
there always external factors yes but
focus on what you can change it maybe
changing the environment now one more
thing in this process in life we're say
we fall down and we go again but that's
okay but an important part of the
process when you do it
you get your feedback you think about
that vulnerable and openly part of it is
to rest
we aren't taught to rest very much
clarity for things we want but sometimes
you need to sit down after it happens
you get the feedback sit down for a
while just breathe
process it and when you're ready you go
again
well it is your time line is your life
so I just want to be a great student do
your studies doesn't work out you
improve if it's parenting if you're
being a boss remember those who were
very few that allowed you to be
vulnerable those great teachers allowed
you to go to the process easily and then
they also might as well show you their
vulnerability as well those are the one
that we connect with that we remember as
we get older now part of it in my life
after went to America things were going
really great I was hoping to help many
kids I don't home one time I my neck you
said Merola
you know you come home for a week a year
and it's great but it breaks my heart
sometimes I said wow this is this heavy
stuff so my purpose changed because
purpose is yours and you have the
freedom to change it whenever you want
so let's talk about recess allocation I
worked in Social Work
but I studied economics time energy and
money are our resources we spend these
every day right now you are choosing to
spend your time with me and with us your
energies here as well and money is very
important now when we were four years
old we want a toy a mom says there's no
money for that and then you go to school
and well why am I here you've got to get
a job full life to make money that's
fantastic
but money sometimes becomes the goal of
the equation not a variable I want to
bring money and sight the equation for
you the goal is your purpose whatever
you want to be though you invest the
resources as well right now you're
saying it's worth it to be here your
time here your energy here now making
any money right now or you're still
going toward your purpose if your
student is the same thing in your job
you trade time and energy for money
sometimes they get a family you want to
spend more time and energy at home it is
your equation it is your purpose you
adjust it however you see fit you know
sometimes you go up volunteers when
you're volunteering what are you doing
you're saying I want to spend like
time and energy helping kids play
football there's no money here but I'm
still achieved my purpose so anyway at
home that's what I did I left America I
left my job
I left my security went back to my
Island to be the world's best uncle and
we had a great time I drove my grandma
aroma Barbados it was fantastic
you know my uncle has cancer we spent
Christmas together I chose my purpose
changed so I reached my equation became
readjusted was it hard absolutely but I
want it to be a good family member to be
a good uncle now you have that freedom
as well it is your equation there are
your resources you spend them and invest
them however you see fit
and in this time passes money comes and
goes but energy is the one we have
complete control over energy is the
intention energy is to do that is the
one you can invest your invest in it
here right now
energy is the one have control over so
invest your energy well intentionally
towards a purpose you choose and the
last one I'll speak about is called
success management and what does that
mean when you get what you want and your
struggle for self how do you handle it
it is difficult getting what you want I
would have realized is that where the
kids I worked with the ones that did the
best in the long run
we're the ones who has pressure
gratitude you go back I thank those who
were there with you along the way go
back to that that did you have any were
seven years old dialogue to be
vulnerable that are old caused to your
parent even to your friends but look
back I thank those along the way who are
there with you to own a person on the
journey
it's the saying that when you get what
you want build a longer table not a
higher fence don't close yourself off
you got there with others it was
fantastic
you enjoyed that process so when you get
what you want
look back and thank people so right now
I'll be vulnerable with you I want to
thank Warren Harvey when it was 16 years
old in accounting he showed me what it
was to be a good man my parents were
there for me as well my friends were
there is that clip said Deb Gustafson
were there for me as well so who was
there for you
so what now what next Eric you're at
that conference right now
afterwards I want you to leave this room
and call someone find them on Facebook
or Instagram or find their phone number
call the school you went to I thank them
for being there with you for allowing to
take intentional steps to give you
feedback I've irate that feedback I'm
gonna do it again more intentionally in
a safe environment we want to be able to
create environments where our friends
our family our kids and our coworkers
feel safe taking steps evaluating and
improving every day because that is all
we want to do in this world thank you
very much have a great day
[Applause]