Welcome back to the Gentleman's Gazette! In today's video, we'll discuss the what,
when, why, and how of handshakes.
♪ Gentleman's Gazette Theme Song ♪ Often seen as part of business deals or other
types of transactions, handshakes are an important part of many a social
interaction but what's the best way to master the handshake? That's the main
question we'll be answering in today's video but as usual, let's start with a
bit of history before we get into mechanics. Archaeological ruins and
ancient texts show that handshaking, also known as dexiosis, was practiced as far
back in history as the fifth century. In particular, shaking hands was a common
custom in ancient Greece and it's depicted in much art from that region
during that time period. One theory about how the handshake originated is that it
was meant as a gesture of peace, given that the hand that was given out to
shake could obviously not hold a weapon. In today's world, the handshake is
commonly performed upon meeting, greeting, parting, offering congratulations,
expressing gratitude, or completing an agreement. In sports or other competitive
activities, you'll also see the handshake performed as a sign of good
sportsmanship. Overall, the purpose of a handshake is to convey trust, respect,
balance, and equality. We've already listed a few situations
where a handshake is appropriate but just in the interest of being thorough,
here are a few others. Greeting guests when you're the host or hostess of a
party or conversely, greeting the host or hostess when you, yourself, are the guest
at a party. Other situations would include saying goodbye when you're
leaving a gathering, meeting in-laws or future family members, or meeting someone
you haven't seen in quite a while. Essentially, a handshake is good to
employ with anyone whom you're meeting for the first time, as well as friends,
family, and acquaintances with whom you feel a
hug or other intimate gesture wouldn't be appropriate. Also, on the topic of hugs,
be aware that as standards of workplace equity have increased, it's no longer
appropriate to greet a woman with a hug especially if she isn't close to you. The
best policy is to simply give everyone a firm and courteous handshake and you
should be good to go and of course, whenever someone else extends their hand
for you to shake, take the opportunity. After all, no one likes to be left
hanging. If, for whatever reason, you do find that you would like to decline a
handshake, be sure to do so politely and courteously. By the way, we've already
done a related video on the proper ways to make introductions and make a good
first impression, you can find our video on that topic, here. More on general
handshake tips in a moment but first here, it's important to note that some
other cultures have specific types of handshakes or don't do handshaking at
all. For example, in Switzerland, it may be expected of you to shake a woman's hand
first. In Russia, a handshake is performed by
men but rarely performed by women. In some countries such as turkey or the
arabic-speaking Middle East, handshakes are not as firm as they typically are in
the West. And also, a grip that is too firm is considered rude in these areas.
In China, a softer handshake is also typically preferred but people shaking
hands often hold on to each other's hands for an extended period after the
initial handshake. Meanwhile in Japan, a formal bow with one's hands open and at
the sides is typically customary. Bowing is also preferred in Korea but when a
handshake is performed, it should be softer initiated, by the senior of the
two individuals, and done without the other hand in one's pocket. Also, it's a
sign of respect in Korea to grasp the right arm with the left hand when two
parties are shaking hands. As a final example here, Masai men in Africa greet
one another by a subtle touch of palms on their hands for a very brief
time. Also, it's important to note that specific organizations have their own
special types of handshakes to subtly communicate between members of those
organizations. Examples of this would include the Scout handshake, typically
performed with the left hand by both Boy Scouts and Girl Scouts. And the handshake
of the Freemasons, the specific technique of which is known only to the members of
that exclusive group. And we've got one other semi-related technique to mention
here, the fist bump. Handshakes have been found to spread a few different kinds of
microbial pathogens. For example, some infectious diseases like scabies are
primarily transferred through direct skin-to-skin contact. Medical studies
have also found though that fist bumps spread fewer germs overall than either
handshakes or high-fives do. Probably because they're not involving the palms
of the hands. And now that people are becoming more aware of and sensitive to
these different kinds of germs, fist bumping is becoming more common, if only
in non-business settings. You may not necessarily appreciate the practice if
you prefer a more traditional handshake but if someone extends a fist, you should
go ahead and fist bump using the knuckles of your hand to touch those of
the other person. Okay, with all of the other variations out of the way, let's get
down to business with proper handshakes. You may think there's nothing to a
handshake but in reality, there are a number of technical concerns you should
be aware of to shake hands properly. First is the when. We've already listed the
proper times overall to execute a handshake but specifically within any
one of these social situations, when should you do it? When another person is
speaking or introducing you, wait for them to finish speaking before you offer
your hand. After extending your hand and while shaking, give the other person a
simple greeting, something like "Hi, I'm Preston! It's nice to meet you!" or a
simple "How are you?" could also do. Next, the how. If you're seated, begin
by rising before shaking someone else's hand.
This shows courtesy and also, quite literally, puts you at the same level as
the other person. Remember to make eye contact and offer a sincere smile to
show that you appreciate the introduction. Also, be generally still and
face the other person head-on. After all, you don't want to give them the
impression that you're trying to get away as quickly as possible. If you're
walking, do try to make an effort to stop and face the other person in order to
shake your hand, if it's at all possible. Similarly, don't
approach with an extended hand from behind or to the side of someone, as this
may create an awkward opportunity for your handshake to go unnoticed.
Speaking of unnoticed handshakes, if you are left hanging, don't panic,
we'll get back to mistakes in a moment. Traditional etiquette dictates that the
person in the higher level of authority or age should be the one to take the
lead when executing a handshake. For example, during a job interview, the
interviewer should be the one to offer their hand first, however, if you are in
one of these situations and the senior individual doesn't take the lead, if you
still feel that a handshake would be appropriate, you can take the initiative.
Remember to extend your hand with a smile and a warm comment. Here's a
particularly critical point, grip pressure. You should make sure that your
handshake is firm and not limp. Nobody likes a dead fish handshake,
however, on the flip side, you also don't want to be one of those people that
crushes the other person's hand with a death grip. In other words, your grip
should reflect positively on you, it should communicate that you're not
aggressive or passive but rather assertive. Along these same lines, shake
hands from your elbow, not from your shoulder.
If the force of your handshake is coming from your entire arm, there's a
possibility that you're going to jolt your conversational partner around which
definitely isn't desirable. Regarding the point of contact, you should try to go
for a web touch, which is to say, the webbing between your thumb and index finger
should meet that same point on the other person's hand. Just as nobody likes a
limp handshake, getting a handful of fingers is also equally awkward. Most
people and cultures will use the right hand for a handshake unless they have a
specific reason to use the left such as injury. If you would like to shake hands
with a person who only has a left hand, then obviously, use your left as well. And
a related point, even though you're probably going to be shaking with your
right hand, your left hand should still be visible and it shouldn't be clenched
into a fist. This may come across as hostile in most business situations. Your
left hand should just remain at your side and you shouldn't use it when
shaking with your right to cup the other person's hand or touch their arm. The use
of two hands when shaking hands with strangers is often seen as intrusive and
it can sometimes be referred to as the politicians shake because it's seen as
artificially friendly. One additional note about hygiene here, your hands
should be free of any dirt, grease, food, or debris when shaking hands with
someone. If you suffer from sweaty or clammy hands, make an effort to blot your
hand on your trousers or on a handkerchief before shaking hands with
someone. Conversely, if you happen to shake hands with someone else who has
sweaty palms, don't try to wipe your hand off right
away as this will probably come across as disrespectful. To wrap things up today,
here are a few general etiquette tips on what to do when hand shaking mistakes do
occur. First of all, if you are left hanging, try not to feel too embarrassed
about it. Most likely, the situation wasn't that the person didn't respect
you enough to give you a handshake, it was simply that your timing in the
situation was off. If you do make a mistake with your handshake technique or
timing, simply try again. When you think the time is appropriate, you could maybe
add a bit of self-deprecating humor and of course,
don't forget to smile. So mastering the art of the handshake is key to looking
courteous and confident whether in a business setting or elsewhere. Armed with
all of these tips, you should have any potential situation well in hand.
Also, one more note here today, you can check out our playlist of etiquette
videos, here. In today's video I'm wearing a typical business style outfit that
does have a few colorful elements to it. The main feature of the ensemble is, of
course, the medium blue suit and I've paired it with a pastel blue shirt for a
harmonious color feel. My accessories today are from Fort Belvedere, including
my cufflinks, which are in platinum plated sterling silver in a monkey's
fist knot design. Also, my tie is a relatively new design in the Fort
Belvedere shop. It's a jacquard silk print featuring repeating diamond motifs
in a color we're calling battleship gray. The diamond motifs of the tie are in
black, blue, and an off-white color, which is echoed by my light brown linen pocket
square that has a hand-rolled yellow X-stitch. My small boutonniere is a light
blue Veronica persica, and my socks, also from Fort Belvedere, are incorporating
some warmer tones their shadow-striped socks in navy with a red stripe. Rounding
out the outfit today are my shoes, which are whole cut Oxfords in an ox blood-red color.
♪ Gentleman's Gazette Theme Song ♪