- You're going to learn
the top 10 classy communication habits,
and no, I don't normally dress like this,
and I also make no claims to be classy myself,
but what I have done is make a mental list
of the classiest people I've observed
and how they communicate.
So to be clear, the word classy is not about income.
This list is about qualities
and how classy people act, how they handle themselves.
The bottom line is anybody can be classy.
Number one, classy people use a moderate volume.
They are not loud.
They don't draw attention to themselves
by being boisterous or putting on a big show.
I'm thinking of a classy woman I know pretty well.
She teaches college.
She's self-controlled.
She uses her inside voice,
as we call it, not her outside voice,
and at the same time, she's not timid, shy or soft spoken.
She never makes you strain to hear her.
She uses a moderate, clear, composed, and confident volume.
Number two, classy people have a tailored appearance.
Appearance is part of your visual communication.
Classy people look put together rather
than disheveled or shaggy.
They're clean.
They have a recent haircut or styling.
They don't wear unnecessarily fancy, flashy,
or trendy name-brand clothing
or make a big deal out of showing off their labels.
That's because classy is not
about drawing attention to yourself,
but their clothes tend to be newish and fit them well.
They may have a local tailor, for example,
who alters their clothing so it fits them right.
I'm thinking of a classy guy I know, he's a physician.
He always dresses appropriately to fit the situation.
His clothes tend to look new rather than worn out.
There may also be a level of sophistication
to a classy person's taste
that aren't immediately noticeable,
like the fact that their clothing is made out
of high quality materials rather than wearing fast fashion.
Their outfit is coordinated rather than mismatched.
If they're wearing jewelry,
it tends to be more subtle rather than eye-catching or loud.
Classy, people tend to have good manners,
etiquette, and respect for others.
They say, "Please," and, "Thank you."
They greet people well.
They have a good understanding of manners,
especially around eating meals
and occasions like socializing at parties
or introducing people to each other,
or how to navigate differences in social status.
If they are out to dinner,
they interact respectfully with servers and wait staff.
It feels as if this respect
for others is driven by self-respect.
They treat people well not
because the other person has always somehow earned respect
in all those situations,
but because that's the kind of person that they are.
The way they treat others shows their own good character.
Number four, classy people make good eye contact,
meaning they don't stare or glare at people
or give them stink eye, for example.
They don't use eye contact to dominate others
or make them feel uncomfortable.
They also don't avoid eye contact
or look around the room nervously.
They make easy, comfortable eye contact.
They look people in the eye long enough
to acknowledge others and make a brief connection.
Number five, classy people remember names.
I ran into a fairly high-status person
I'm around occasionally who carries herself with class.
She uses my name about once per conversation.
I get the feeling that she's doing it as a good habit,
but also as a sign of respect for me.
She wants me to know that she knows me,
but people like this don't overuse your name,
like a pushy salesperson who says your name every sentence
as a way to control the conversation
or pretend that they're your best friend.
It's much more straightforward
for classy people.
They remember
and use your name to communicate that you matter.
Number six, classy people take an interest in others
and listen carefully.
They are not self-centered.
They take a genuine interest in other people,
and they'll spend about as much time listening
as they do talking.
I know a pretty classy attorney, a good attorney.
He has an interesting life, but he always asks me a lot
of questions about how I'm doing.
He doesn't talk much about himself unless you ask.
Classy people ask you some questions
about yourself to either catch up
with you and how you've been doing
or as an attempt to get to know you better,
what you do for a living,
and learn a bit about your background
as they listen carefully when you speak.
Number seven, classy people pause before speaking.
They aren't in a rush.
There's no hurry.
So you'll notice that when other people speak,
classy people listen
and even pause noticeably before talking next.
I know a successful business owner
and his wife who also owns her own successful business,
and I'm always amazed at how consistently they pause
to make sure I've finished my talking turn.
They're pausing to process what I was just saying,
and they take their time to patiently
form their own thoughts.
That's why classy people will rarely cut others off
in a conversation or interrupt.
That little pause leads
to lots of good communication outcomes,
and it comes across as really classy.
Number eight,
classy people have a generally positive attitude.
You'll seldom hear them complain,
at least not for very long.
They're not all doom and gloom.
Instead, they'll spend their time
making complimentary remarks
and focusing on the positive aspects of the situation.
They tend to be agreeable and cooperative
in conversations rather than conflictual or argumentative.
They may have a point
of view, and if there is a problem, they'll talk about it,
but they'll also talk about solutions.
They're ultimately looking for the good
in a situation and they focus on that.
Number nine, classy people are not long-winded,
and they don't dominate conversations.
I've rarely seen a classy person who I would describe
as a motor mouth, but I know lots of people who talk a lot.
I talk for a living.
Still, classy people are usually concise
and make an effort to share the talk time equally
with other people in conversations.
They tend not to dominate and talk so much
that others don't get a chance to contribute.
And this goes well beyond listening
that I mentioned a moment ago.
For example, in a group situation,
I've often seen classy people look
for ways to involve less talkative people,
perhaps by asking them a question to invite them
into the group conversation.
Number 10, they know when not to speak.
This behavior is so subtle that it's easy to miss.
They think before they speak
so they don't say something they'll regret.
In many cases, they won't say anything.
It almost comes across like wisdom when you see it.
Classy people can sense
when a conversation is turning into gossip
or negativity, or heading in a direction that's unhelpful,
and they know how to stay out of it
and how not to say anything
that would encourage more negativity.
They might just smile and nod
and wait for the moment to pass,
but I've seen them gracefully exit a group conversation
if the tide turns
to a topic they don't want to be associated with.
These are the top 10 classy behaviors.
What else would you add
to the list if you could suggest something,
and what behaviors would you personally like to improve upon
that we've been talking about?
Feel free to leave a comment about that below.
Until next time, thanks, God bless, and stay classy.