hello my name is Sue-Ann Maislin i am a psychologist and mental health educator
and like many of you I'm a busy parent partner and caregiver doing my best to stay healthy
and well in a challenging environment. The pandemic and other world issues have put us
into a never-before-experience situation. Like me some days you may feel positive and hopeful
while on other days you might feel overwhelmed, tired, anxious, or find your patience running thin.
it's natural to feel this way but we don't have to let worldly events define us. We can take better
control over our thoughts and actions by choosing strategies to stay resilient. So resilience, it's
like a psychological muscle that can be developed. In practice no doubt you've developed a host of
resiliency strategies to help you stay in control during uncertain or difficult periods of life.
Many of these strategies have helped you to problem solve in a variety of different situations .
Now some strategies such as spending time with our loved ones, or staying active getting a good
night's sleep, or any activity that brings us a sense of purpose or joy is more likely to produce
a positive outcome. On the other hand, sometimes when we're tired or stressed we choose strategies
that are less helpful, such as not getting enough rest, engaging in negative thinking patterns, or
drinking unhealthy levels of alcohol and this can produce a negative outcome on our well-being.
Now I want to point out that most of us are doing our best to stay healthy and cope when we're doing
well, we're coping with life's ups and downs we're generally feeling energetic optimistic and on the
main enjoying our life when we're not. There are sometimes signs that our resilience is challenged
you may have noticed some common effects on your physical body such as tight muscles or back pain,
headaches, restlessness, or sleep problems sometimes we experience effects on our mood or our mind
such as a lower, irritable, mood we might find it difficult to concentrate or find ourselves
thinking more negatively about ourselves and our future. Ultimately our behavior gives us
clues that our resilience is challenged, for example using more alcohol or snapping at
family members or withdrawing from loved ones are often signs of distress, so we're going to look at
five strategies that are within your control to help you stay healthy and resilient for life .
our first strategy is about worrying constructively. Now we all worry from time to
time and perhaps more so in times of uncertainty. Getting caught up in a negative worry chain where
you literally get stuck ruminating about your problems can end up with you feeling hopeless,
helpless, and exhausted to worry constructively we need to identify problems that can be solved and
really drill down and identify the issue. Write it down and focus on what it is that we have control
over. Part of the strategy involves identifying your thoughts and beliefs about the problem
we sometimes engage in very limited thinking patterns about our ability to solve problems such
as "I'll never be able to get through this it'll be impossible to cope things will always be terrible"
but our thoughts are not facts and sometimes we need to debate them.
Do you know for certain that you will never be able to resolve this or cope?
What evidence do you have that you can't get through this can you instead replace your beliefs
and thoughts with something more realistic or optimistic such as saying "this is a difficult
situation no doubt but I will take the steps that I can and get the supports that I need to resolve
it." Brainstorm possible options that might help you to resolve the problem and here it might help
to engage with a member of your support system. Somebody can give you non-judgmental guidance
Do your best to let go of the what-ifs that come up and instead create contingency plans for what
it is that you can control. For example if you're worried about getting sick, speak
to your doctor about your health risks and take precautions where you can. Consider freezing meals
for days when you might be low on energy, having some fever reducer handy and things that help you
feel comfortable, as well as someone to help deliver groceries and essential supplies,
and even a few activities on hand to help alleviate the boredom as you start to recover
and feel better. A really helpful strategy for working constructively is called STOP.
You may find yourself feeling panicky about situations and need to take some steps to center
or problem-solve. The 'S' in the stop literally helps to ground us we tell ourselves to mentally stop.
Sometimes it's helpful to have a little rubber band around our wrist that we can literally snap
to bring us into the present moment and then take a breath or two or three or more,
feel your mind and your body relax, and release tension and observe what's going on in your mind,
and your environment. What is your thought process as you relax? Begin to assess the situation from a
more neutral or positive mindset focusing on what you can control and surrendering what you can't,
and after assessing different options take some steps to proceed consider putting a smart
action plan into place to help you achieve goals and keep you motivated and focused.
Mindful breathing can really come in handy when we're having tense moments. It helps to combat
anxiety, improve concentration, brain and immune function, sleep, and digestion. To begin with
sit in a chair with your shoulders head and neck supported against the back of the chair
and your feet planted firmly and comfortably on the ground.
You can also do this standing with your feet hip width apart and your shoulders relaxed.
Close your eyes or soften your gaze, doing your best to look away from screens in blue light.
In your mind's eye, watch your breath breathe in through your nose and let your belly fill with air,
and breathe out through your nose. Notice what it feels like to breathe
perhaps noticing the in-breath is a little cooler than the out breath.
Perhaps place one hand on your belly and the other on your chest around your heart center.
As you breathe in, watch the breath as it travels down and feel your belly rise.
As you breathe out, follow the breath and feel your belly lower.
The hand on your belly will move more than the one on your chest. Take three more full deep breaths.
Four cycles of diaphragm breathing are often enough to engage your body's
natural relaxation response. The good news: you cannot be stressed and relaxed at the same time.
Our next strategy focuses on self-compassion. It's a process for affirming our whole self:
thoughts, feelings, attitude - everything. For example if you make a mistake (and we all do)
you might start by blaming yourself "I'm so careless and stupid how could i let this
happen." But if your best friend shared that they made the same mistake you would probably say "hey
don't beat yourself up." We all make mistakes, you're a good person.
Here are some tips for practicing self-compassion based on the work of kristin neff.
Mindfulness: notice that you're suffering and that suffering is hard. When you can acknowledge your
thoughts and feelings without judging yourself you do a lot better than when you bottle them up.
Try to avoid them or mask them remind yourself of your common humanity we all struggle.
We all lead less than perfect lives. Normalize that. It's natural to feel scared and worried at times,
and talk to yourself with kindness in a warm tone like a cherished friend.
Replace negative labels with positive and affirming statements such as I
am a good and kind person, I am worthy of love and respect, I am capable. Express some gratitude.
It helps us to stay present to our reality and literally savour life experiences big and small.
Count your blessings focus on your strengths instead of dwelling on the negative.
This can improve your outlook on life, help you cope better in challenging situations, improve your
social connection. Your life and career, a regular practice of cultivating gratitude has been shown
to improve energy levels and life satisfaction, and it really helps prevent boredom so that each day
doesn't feel like the last. strategies include keeping a gratitude journal where you list
two to three things each day that you are grateful for better yet share what you're grateful for. With
someone in your life to enhance your social connections and of course taking care of your
physical health is so important, your mind body and spirit are connected . Sleep restfully. It's
so important for your body to sleep in order to repair itself, and for at least seven to nine hours
of sleep per night it helps to practice a healthy sleep routine and develop healthy rituals
to fall into a deep and comfortable sleep. Consider turning off electronic devices
or avoid watching negative or scary news too close to bedtime. Instead take a warm bath,
read a book, or practice relaxation techniques. Eat healthy nourishing
meals, reducing sugars or saturated fats that can quickly deplete your energy and dampen your mood.
Have healthy snacks prepared nearby to avoid hunger spikes between meals,
and ensure you're staying hydrated with plenty of water, limiting caffeine diet sodas and alcohol.
Stay active. It's great for your mind, body, and spirit. It helps to release the accumulated stress
or tension that your body accumulates all day and it improves your mental and emotional health too.
The goal is to aim for 150 minutes of moderate activity each week. That's about 30 minutes a day,
and it could be in 10-minute intervals. It's not an all-or-nothing. Physical activity is
even more enhanced when you do it with a friend or a loved one
And of course, you want to make a commitment to yourself remember that resilience is like
a psychological muscle that we do cultivate intentionally over time.
Consider incorporating one or two of the strategies that you found meaningful in this video
and communicate your intentions to your loved ones so they can help to support you on your journey.
Commit to your practice by setting smart goals, goals that you can measure, track your progress,
and help you to stay motivated, and of course thank yourself for making the choice to tune in and put
yourself first. As a mental health professional and educator i know how important it is to put your
own oxygen mask on first, by choosing strategies to support your well-being. Thank you.