-I'm about to perform some kid theater,
but first I need an acting partner.
And I couldn't ask for a better one.
She's a legendary pop icon and music superstar!
Please welcome the one, the only, Madame X!
[ Cheers and applause ]
Are you kidding? Are you kidding?
I bow. I bow!
I bow down to the queen.
-Jimmy, stand up.
-I love you.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Yeah. That's exactly right. That's exactly right.
That's exactly right!
Alright.
Welcome. Welcome to the show, Madame X.
Thank you for doing this. -Thank you for having me.
-You have a new movie out tomorrow
on Paramount+ called "Madame X."
And I thought it would be fun to preview some scenes
for our audience by acting them out together.
But here's the catch.
The scenes we'll be reading are not from the actual film.
Instead they are written by elementary school kids.
-Which is why I'm wearing an elementary school dress.
-Yes, of course. I know, I know. Of course. I got it. I got it.
I totally got it.
We gave the kids no direction. We just said --
"Madame X" is all we told them and let them do the rest.
So it's time for "Kid Theater." Here we go.
♪ -Kid theater, kid theater ♪
-This first one is from Jess.
She's seven years old.
Madame X, you'll be playing the role of Madame X.
I'll be playing the role of Denny.
Higgins will read the scene descriptions.
Higgins, set up the scene, please.
-Denny and Madame X are at the ice cream place.
-When it's your birthday, you get free ice cream.
-It's my birthday.
-The ice cream waiter throws Madame X free ice cream,
and she catches it with one hand then with two hands.
[ Laughter ]
-Can I have some of your ice cream?
-Oh. -Sorry.
-Oh [bleep] -Wait, no.
[ Laughter ] That's not in the script.
[ Cymbal crashes ] That's not in the script at all.
-I know, but I'm holding two ice cream cones.
[ Laughter ]
Well, maybe I'll give you some ice cream if you dance for me.
[ Laughter ]
-Denny does a slow dance.
[ Laughter ]
-Come on, baby.
-It is very, very slow.
[ Laughter ]
-Hurry up. It's melting.
[ Slow music plays ]
[ Cheers and applause ]
This dance you're doing right now, it's too slow.
-Mm-hmm. -Can you dance faster?
And more normal and use your hands
and your shoulders and your chin.
-Chin? -Chin.
[ Music quickens ] [ Rhythmic clapping ]
-Denny pretends to be normal and dances using his hands,
his shoulders, and his chin.
-That's a normal dance.
What are you thinking about
while you're doing a normal dance?
[ Laughter ]
-Normal stuff.
Pants, bread, numbers, you know.
I don't have to tell you. -Yes, you do.
Don't talk back to me. [ Laughter ]
-That's not in the script at all!
-Yes, it -- [ Laughs ]
But I think that you do have to tell me because I'm not normal.
[ Laughter ]
That's in the script.
-Yeah, it is actually, yeah.
How can we tell?
-By my dance.
-Madame X does a dance that's not normal,
and she's eating her free ice cream.
[ Laughter and applause ]
♪♪
-Alright. Alright. Alright.
Hold on. Hold on now.
Alright, alright, alright, hold on now.
Alright, very good.
[ Cheers and applause ] No, no, no, no, no, no!
Alright, okay.
[ Laughter ]
-I'm not done with my dance. You're censoring me.
-No, I'm not. Never. I would never.
♪♪
Alright, alright, okay, okay.
Alright, Higgins, whose line is it?
Whose line is it? Okay.
No, no, no! -It's your line.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Madame Triple X.
-Alright, thank you. [ Laughter ]
-It's melted. Here, lick my hand.
[ Laughter and applause ]
-And scene. [ Cheers and applause ]
-Alright. That was great.
Alright. Here we go. Let's do this.
Alright, that's one. Alright, let's go.
Now let's do another one.
This was sent by Theodore.
This stars two characters, Madame X and Stupid Fox.
[ Laughter ]
Do I play Ma-- [ Laughter ]
Okay, here we go. Higgins, set it up.
-This is the story of Madame X and her Stupid Fox.
[ Laughter ]
Madame X looks out over the castle,
waiting for the Stupid Fox.
♪ -I am Madame X ♪
♪ My castle is a wreck ♪
-Come on.
♪ -It was so destroyed by this old Stupid Fox ♪
[ Laughter ]
♪ I will put him in a timeout ♪
[ Cheers and applause ]
Thanks for the vocal support.
-Greetings, Madame X.
It is I, your trusty friend, Stupid Fox.
[ Laughter ]
-I'm very mad at you, Stupid Fox.
You left all your stupid toys all over my beautiful castle.
-I did not.
-Yes, you did. Shut up.
[ Laughter ]
-I did not. -Shut up.
-I did not. -Shut up. You did.
Shut up. -Let us not -- let us not argue.
-I agree.
Arguing is not fun.
I want to have fun, Stupid Fox.
[ Laughter ]
Fun, I say. -Yeah.
♪ I will put my toys away ♪
♪ I'm sorry I made a mess ♪
♪ I'm just a Stupid Fox ♪
♪ I'm sorry, Madame X ♪
-That's kind of good. -Not bad?
-That's not bad, actually. -Thank you.
[ Cheers and applause ] -That's kind of -- Yeah.
That song was beautiful, Stupid Fox.
So beautiful that I'm going to change your name.
-Is my name now Beautiful Fox?
-No.
It's Less Stupid Fox. -Alright.
There we go, and scene. [ Laughter ]
[ Cheers and applause ]
Thank you to Madame X. Stick around.
We're talking to Madonna -- I mean Madame X --
after the break! Come on back!