- Do you guys bleep?
I hope, okay. - Ooh. (laughs)
(upbeat music)
- Hey, I'm Jake.
- Hey, I'm Emily.
- And we've taught preschool before.
(Emily laughs) and man, is it wild.
- Hi, I'm Keeley, I am a current preschool teacher.
- I'm Stephanie, I used to be one.
Being a preschool teacher is great.
(Keeley laughs)
- I love teaching preschool,
but it does come with its crazy moments.
- So many diapers.
- So, oh so many diapers. - So many diapers.
- It's a roller coaster. (laughs)
- And you know what else is a roller coaster?
Playing never have I ever.
- I haven't played this since middle school.
Let's go. - (laughs) Let's do it.
- Never have I ever been called mommy or daddy
(Jake laughs) by a student.
- Definitely have. (Stephanie laughs)
- Definitely.
- And they're so embarrassed, right?
- Yeah. - They're like, mommy!
(Keeley laughs)
- Yeah. - Oh, yeah.
- It's weird. - Totally.
- It's real weird.
- I got Mister Daddy.
- Or I get the ones that don't realize it at first,
and so they'll just be like, Mommy?
Mommy?
- Yeah, it happened to me when real mom
was in the room, so. - Oh.
- It's uncomfortable.
It leads to a good conversation.
(Jake laughs)
- Never have I ever been given a cute gift by a student.
Yeah.
- I totally have. - Always.
- Yeah. - It's the best part.
- It can be anything.
- Yeah. (laughs)
- A piece of cardboard.
- Truly! - You're like, oh my God!
- I mean five-year-olds.
So, like the drawings are not art, but they're art.
- When I had my like, goodbye celebration after I moved
from being a full-time teacher to a substitute,
they had like a whole, like,
little celebration for me.
And they all brought flowers.
- I directed the theater show with the kids,
and they gave me a director's chair with my name on it.
- Oh. - Way too much.
Very sweet, but way too much. (Emily laughs)
- Never have I ever had to stop kids
from doing something naughty.
You mean 24 hours a day? - Of course I have.
What kind of question is that? - Even when I'm not at work?
(Keeley laughs)
- Yeah. - So many things. (laughs)
- I mean, what's the naughtiest?
- Naughty isn't really a word we use in childcare.
We don't say bad.
Those generalizations aren't welcome.
- The enrichment center, LOL-- - Yeah. (laughs)
- That I worked at was very much
about like, making positive statements whenever possible.
- So if a kid's like, biting another kid,
- You're like, no thank you!
- Yes. - No, thank you!
- One boy I was teaching, at one point,
was hosting a penis contest (Emily laughs)
in the boy's room.
Had to shut that down!
- Never have I ever had to try to explain
something substantial to a child because they asked.
- Oh boy. - Oh, I have.
- Oh boy.
- I would say, no.
No. - You're lucky.
- There was this book, and we were reading it
and at one point it was like,
"And then, like sometimes people die."
(Keeley laughs) And then literally--
- Yeah, yeah.
- The kid was like, "What does that mean?
"When someone dies?"
And I was like, this is the moment--
- Yes! (Keeley laughs)
- I've been dreading.
- I had a student who thought the kiss of a wedding
was what produced a baby.
(Jake laughs)
And he saw a kiss that was not within a marriage,
and I tried to get around it.
I tried to just say, like it doesn't happen then.
Never have I ever had to clean up pee, poo, or vomit.
- Oh, yeah. I've definitely had to clean up.
- Who hasn't? - Yeah.
- Every day. - Every day.
- Every single day.
- Many, many times a minute. - Yeah, yeah. (laughs)
- Can I add an addendum to this one?
You ever been vomited on?
- Oh, totally.
Yeah. - Yeah.
- I've been vomited on.
- I think I can honestly say I've cleaned up pee,
poop, and vomit in the last week.
All, like, yeah.
- That's-- - That's a great feeling!
- Some real teacher (beep).
- They choose you. (sighs)
Never have I ever had a favorite child in class.
- Ha ha!
- Oh, oh.
- Hmmmm, I think-- - That's a lie.
- I've had so many favorites
and I tried really hard not to let them know it,
but they always knew.
- Yeah, I think I'm gonna say I haven't.
Just because like, they all have something like,
something unique to offer.
Like, if I'm like, this kid--
- What a teacher. (Keeley laughs)
- I have for sure had a favorite.
(Jake laughs) And it may or may not
have to do with what their parents get you for Christmas.
- Whoa.
Never have I ever had to tell a parent
their child had misbehaved in school.
Yeah. - Yeah.
- Yeah, I've had to tell them.
- If your kid misbehaves, I am telling you, immediately!
- I've had to write some emails, and it's like, you know.
- The penis competition?
- Well, that was definitely-- - Was that emailed?
- A big one.
- We have to make sure we're very sensitive
with those things.
So the parents don't get like, scared
or feel like they're being judged.
'Cause I think that's one thing
that parents are really, - Yeah.
- Really scared about. (laughs)
- You use kid gloves with the adults.
- Never have I ever been asked out by a parent.
- I mean, I wish. (laughs)
- No, but like I said, mine are much older than me.
- Sadly, I'm kidding. - No.
I'm grateful, truly.
- Isn't that the rom-com fantasy,
That we were all thinking of-- - Sleepless in Seattle, right?
- When we became preschool teachers? (laughs)
Never have I ever experienced a child
say something inappropriate.
- Oh, totally. - So much!
- Oh, yeah.
(Keeley and Stephanie laughing)
- They say things that are just so hilarious sometimes.
- Yeah, I think a kid's favorite thing to do
is to tell you when you don't look good that day.
- Oh, yeah.
- Lots of cursing.
Kids repeat everything. - Oh, yeah, totally.
- So if you don't want your kid to say,
- Chode.
- Chode! (laughs)
Don't say it around them!
- Butt(bleep), like all of those.
- Never have I ever been yelled at by a parent.
Ooh, Moment of pride, I have not.
Diffused that fuse. - I haven't been yelled at.
I've felt cornered a little bit by parents.
- Totally have been yelled at by a parent.
- Sorry. - I've been yelled at
by a parent in a classroom.
I've been yelled at by a parent through a group text.
- That's 'cause they're theater parents.
- Yeah, yeah, they're theater parents.
- Never have I ever been made fun of
by a child in class. - (laughing) Yeah.
- Refer to our previous question.
- I was told that I yell a lot, but it was like,
(Emily laughs) I exaggerate, you know.
I get into it, I get animated, I get excited about it.
And one kid told me just to take it down a notch.
(Jake and Emily laughing)
Said I was at an 11 and if he could be getting me
at a five, that would be great.
- That's good numbers though.
- It was really good numbers. - That's good numbers usage.
Yeah. - Yeah.
- Never have I ever been friends with a student's family.
I have not.
- Like, yeah, me neither.
- I have, actually, yeah.
- I have not.
- No? - Yeah.
I've been like, acquaintance-y.
But I've had a boundary thing with that.
- That's like, very frowned upon.
- Yeah.
- At least at the place I worked. It's very, like not okay.
- And I technically was friends with this family
before I got the job at the school I got.
And before their oldest student started going.
- In sum, being a preschool teacher
is grueling, rewarding--- - Nuts!
- Hilarious. - It's crazy!
- Nuts. - Nuts.
- Nuts. - Bananas.
- We do a lot. - Yeah.
- In our day, with so many kids,
so many other teachers, so many parents.
- I think a preschool teacher is a hard job
but someone's gotta do it. - Yeah.
- But totally worth it, if you choose it.
- It's totally worth it. - Totally worth it.
- Well, with preschool, what you see is what you get.
- Yeah. - And we help, you know,
(Emily laughs) Start kids off
as who they are, and, you know.
- So hopefully this was enlightening.
- Yes. - But not too terrifying.
- We hope we're not freaking anybody out
from ever having kids or teaching preschool.
- We are just a subset of the population.
- But we tell the truth.
- (laughing) Oh, ho, ho, ho. - Ohhh.
(upbeat music)