Hi, I'm John Green, and today we - what's wrong?
Oh, its... no, no, no. Premature. Premature!
Starting next week, we're going to be talking about...
I have the iPod in my hand.
Justin Timberlake for talent, Lance Bass for looks
so like one and one in my opinion.
Then third place, you're saying JC
Who I think is tied with Joey, in my mind.
But then Chris Kirkpatrick is a definite last.
This whole episode is just a f***ing bonanza.
So uh... Yeah. Yep. Yup. Whatever. You know what to do.
Oh.
No, don't do it now.
Isn't that a George W. Bush word?
John Quincy Adams was eventually declared the winter...
Winter.
The Confederate general was named Simon...
Simoh?
Which in a sense is unsurprising, because they had massives...
Massives asvantages.
Best use of "How J Say" ever.
Alright. Keep pushing.
I did it!
I don't really have a joke here.
Um, didn't I just make that joke?
That they were anything less than human.
[cavernous pause]
Let's go to The Thought Bubble.
Was that too long of a pause?
[Stan: Yes.]
Alright. [laughs]
I was trying to build drama!
The Great Sea. Ah, f***.
S***. Sorry.
1856.
1858. F***nugget.
Oh, God.
The Je... Jefferson. F***.
I got the bronze medal at the State Academic Decathelon Tournament... among C students.
...in Alabama.
What's going on?
It's... I did it the same way I always do it.
How concerned should I be about that airplane?
Harry Styles! Harry Styles has to be the best looking one because he has the porn star name.
Are we now officially a workplace marred by sexual harassment?
Hello, camera.
It's me, John Green
Stan is talking about one of his dumb toys.
I just want to do this for a second, if I may.
Radical Republican Charlsh...
Charles Sumner. Charles. Radical Republican Charles Sumner.
With the South winning at Valve...
Valverder? Valverder?
Played by Abraham Lincoln against his stunning... cunning.
Is it Garn... Garnette? I'm gonna say Garnette.
McClellan ended Lee's invasion of the North at Antietam, Mn...
What was I gonna say, MD?
Metietam... Antietam, Medical Doctor? I have no idea what I was going for there.
"Honey Bun, how do I look in the face?"
It's true!
This is all being recorded.
Ha ha!
Guilty...
...Land. Sorry, I can't see the thing very well.
Land!
Forty times more shoes and...
Boots?
I'm gonna make that joke later?
[Stan:Yes.]
Can we just make it six times? Because the whole episode is like
What? This seriously happened?
Anyway, he looked good in the face. The issue was the
the abdomen wound.
[growl]
I am a perpetual motion machine. I'm gonna come over here.
Raoul Meyer and my... what?
Graphics team is Thought Bubble.
Thought Cafe.
That's the kind of bold political statement that I'm making on Crash Course U.S. History.
I do not think that we should have killed ten thousand people.
[Stan: That's a brave choice.]
And moved them to Oklahoma.
Uh...It's compounding one cruelty upon another!
Um... what? Huh? This doesn't make any sense.
Nial.
Horan.
Was.
Born. This is a great Youtube channel!
Alright. Let's go.
I can't actually start reading until I have the right Mystery Document.
Sorry, I tried to pull it out and I just... Epic Pulling Fail.
"That if the single man plant himself indomitably..."
Oh my God.
Sorry, I just hate... I hate it so much.
Oh, God. Everything hurts so bad.
Hey Honey Bun, how do I look in the face?
According to one white Southern California... Southern California?
As if.
Thanks for watching... the-Whoa! God!
That is the most boring quote I have ever heard in my entire life. We're going to cut it.
Oh right, right. I forgot. Sorry, I forgot where we were.
It's like 200 years apart.
Where is North Korea? It's part of the... it's in here somewhere?
[Stan: Up. Right. Yeah, it's the little peninsula.]
Oh, okay.
Who's seriously pro-body hair? No one, right?
I mean no... no real person is.
My favorite one is the sentence:
"Avicii began to deejay to escape the Swedish winter."
F*** film majors.
They're like "Aristotle was the first person to identify dolphins as separate from porpoises."
Shut the f*** up, man.
Thirteen time more aw...
Arn?
15-man electric... electoral. Electric commission.
It's electric. Boogie woogie woogie.
Still not off. I'm not off. I'm o... nope. Little more.
Here we go.
Alright. Alright.