Psychic Roommates
And thanks again for calling Joe's psychic center
Have a good day.
Remember: we're always expecting your call
Heh, okay bye-bye
...That's so sad, she's totally going to die...
Hey how was uh...
Crappy
No, I'm working late
I don't really care, do whatever you want
Are you...?
...mad?
Why would I be mad? Oh!
That's right, my roommate's being a selfish
asshole
Come on... I didn't do anything. She asked ME to the movies
You should've said "No," you knew liked her
How was I supposed to know? You never said anything...
You're supposed to know because we're freaking psychics man
Look, you crush on every cute girl you meet
Whatever, have fun
*Sighs*
You knew I was craving cereal this morning
I did?
How was I supposed to know?
You didn't SAY it. You didn't SAY you wanted cereal this morning....
You know what, I knew that you were going to know that I was going to be craving cereal this morning and that you were going to drink my milk to get back at me
...so I bought a back up!
Well I knew that you would know that I would know that you would want cereal and I would drink the rest of the milk leading you to buy another one, so I drank all of that one, too.
I knew that you were going to know that I was going to know that you were going to know about my back up, so I bought a back up to the back up, and I hid it...
in the microwave.
Well, I knew that you would know that I knew that YOU knew that I would know about the back up to the back up, so I used all of that one, too.
...on these!
You know what? It doesn't matter, because I'm going to use water.
You're going to use water on your cereal?
Okay...that's disgusting.
This is ridiculous
Look, I'm sorry for saying "Yes" to Rebecca, okay?
I'll call her.
I'm going to tell her I'm not going to go.
Is that what you want? Will that make you happy?
*Sighs*
No...
No...that wouldn't make me happy
That would make me...non happy
*Sighs* Look it just...it just stings okay? Not being the one that's chosen
You know what I want?
I want you to go. You should go and have a good time.
You should go
What's the point?
What do you mean?
I mean, we're going to have a great time at the movies
...and then I'm going to ask her out to dinner next week...
We're going to go to California Pizza Kitchen and coincidentally order the same thing
We'll connect over similar taste in music and
our desire to give back to the community
That's going to lead to two more romantic dates, we're going to have our first kiss in three weeks
become exclusive in two months
I'll meet her parents in five months and we're going to say "I love you" to each other for the first time in seven months
For the following five months, we're going to get comfortable, take each other for granted
And after our one year anniversary, she's going to get promoted and start working late nights with a coworker "Anderson," who used to be a model for a semi-notable men's fashion magazine.
Two months after that, she's going to come home and tell me that...
She still loves me but she's not *in love* with me.
(Crying) Okay? Then I'm going to find out that she's been doing more than just working late nights with Anderson, the model who used to work for a semi-notable men's fashion magazine...
What's the point??
...going to break my heart.
Stupid...
Come on
You don't KNOW that
Yes I do, we're freakin' psychics, dude.
Right...
Look Joe
You're a...really...good guy who...
super cool and smart and successful
Look, you got your own your like...small business and...
I have to go sit in that booth everyday and still wear this stupid thing
Do you know why I...ask you to always hang out?
It's 'cause when we go out, you make ME look cooler.
Really?
Yeah
Look, I know it's really cliche
but there are plenty of fish in the sea
You're going to find someone else
Her name is Susan, she's... (together) an interior decorator. Yeah, I saw that too
I'll get it
*Doorbell rings*
Hi! Hey
Is Joe home? I'm picking him up for the movie.
Yeah, look about that Rebecca, um...
Joe can't really talk right now um...
You've really hurt him
What?
I mean, he hopes that you guys can still be friends after all this
but I think what he needs from you right now is just a little bit of space
Uh...(half-laughs)
And I actually that what YOU should do is take this time and think about what...YOU did
er...will do
I hope Anderson's worth it
Who the hell is "Anderson"?
(from far away) Oh you know who he is!