This is my worst nightmare.
( music playing )
You know we're always interested in what the Internet is into,
and right now the Internet is into crunching ice.
Yeah. Now, crunching ice is not slang for doing meth.
It's a viral trend that has blown up on Chinese live-stream sites.
Basically, Chinese vloggers
are creating intricate ice sculptures
and then biting into them on camera.
Yep.
ASMR style.
The sculptures-- they range in shape and consistency and size,
and we're gonna watch some videos together
of different genres
of this ice crunching stuff,
and then we're going to try it ourselves.
Yes, we gonna crunch some ice,
but, big disclaimer,
chewing on hard ice
is not advised.
It can hurt your gums.
It can break your teeth.
Let the two nimrods do it. Okay?
Do not try this at home.
Let your friendly neighbor nimrods--
neighborhood nimrods
That's what we almost called this show.
"Neighborhood Nimrods."
It's not too late. Is it?
Yeah, we can change it. Season 14.
Okay. Now, like I said,
there's a few different genres or preferences
within the trend,
and the first one is using soft ice,
which is more like shaped slushy ice,
and creates more of a muted crunch. Let's watch.
( crunching )
Look at this video.
Popped ice.
Lots of eye contact.
That's a face.
She's eating a face.
She's wearing the face.
Oh, it fits perfectly.
( both grunt )
Now, I'm--
I know you're not excited about this.
I am having difficulty watching this
- 'cause I cannot bite ice! - You won't even bite ice cream.
You can't-- You only use the tongue for ice cream.
I lick and donkey lip ice cream.
Today I'm here for you, Link.
Today you're going to put your teeth, your front teeth,
into ice.
I'm like--
I know I'm not the only one, so if you're with me,
we can do this together.
So this is like an egg.
It's supposed to be crunchy.
It's not supposed to be too hard.
You want me to just demonstrate first?
So you can warm up?
Oh...
What's that in the middle?
Stevie:
Oh, it's a kumquat in the middle?
You gotta come and warn me about that kumquat next time.
Now you-- you see--
I think I can bite with the molars.
And you gotta maintain eye contact.
- I'm going over here. - Uh-oh.
You're making me feel uncomfortable.
- ( groans ) - Oh, come on.
That got you?
- I can't-- - No, but what was it?
Was it pain or was it just discomfort?
- Discomfort. It's like-- - You can overcome this.
- It's like frickin'-- - I'm here for you.
- It's like nails on a chalkboard! - You're going to over--
I don't care. You're going to overcome this today.
Just do it and don't think about it.
Yeah.
Bite that kumquat.
You gotta look like you're enjoying it.
No one's gonna watch your vlogs
if you have that look on your face.
You have to look-- like a smile. Make a smile.
Okay.
All right, this gets even weirder.
Some of them include juice.
- There she is again. - Oh, little pyramids.
See that face, Link?
They don't look like they're bothered at all.
She's cool as a cucumber.
It's like, "Every day I do this."
( speaking foreign language)
- Holy what? Is that a-- - It's like a fish aquarium.
It's a fishbowl. No!
- No, she-- - Look, she's smiling.
You see that?
- Then she gave the sign. - Call me
and tell me what a stupid idea that was.
Okay, we've got our own juice-filled ice balls. Wow.
- I got a blue ball. - I got a green ball.
I don't know what that means.
Green ball's not a euphemism for anything.
I feel left out.
- That's the theme-- - I've got green balls, yeah.
...the theme song for our nimrod show. What's it called?
Neighborhood nimrods.
♪ Neighborhood nimrods ♪
♪ I got a blue ball ♪
♪ I got a green ball ♪
- ♪ We're two nimrods ♪ - Yep.
Okay, so Tess said we should break the seal on this
so we can put a straw in there.
I'm through. I'm through. I'm through...
Green nimrod through.
But they didn't just drink. They bursted it.
- Can I be sexy Iceman? - Don't-- No.
I wanna be sexy Iceman. That's the thing that I haven't seen.
You can't be sexy Iceman.
But then what they do was they bit it.
I gotta get where I can--
I can-- Golly, it's so thick.
Yeah, if you tried to break this one on your head...
I'm just gonna have to beaver this thing.
I'm kind of losing my cool a little bit.
Remember that warning we gave?
- He's about to lose a tooth. - Wait, hold on.
( grunting )
Oh, there's a hole there.
I'm through.
Of course it's all gone out the other side.
Stevie:
Yeah, put it-- Dig 'em in there, Neal!
Bit it. You can do it!
Now look-- look happy.
( shuddering ) This is my worst nightmare.
Hey, man, you're doing great.
And we haven't even gotten to the hard crunches,
which is the next video we're gonna watch.
( crunches )
- Ooh. - Looks like a crystal.
Oh, gosh.
Like she does it every day.
- Holy what? - Ooh, Looks like sausage.
No, girl!
How do you even make that thing?
I think it's a six. No, it's a nine.
It's a bad idea.
I don't understand why--
how their faces stay so unemotional.
I am mesmerized by this.
Let's bring ours in.
We've got a bone.
This is a har-- it's a hard bone.
And so what we're gonna do
You're thinking of breaking it in the middle so we each get one.
There we go.
Oh, two neighborhood nimrods
got another type of rod.
Now, yours is longer, but mine are bigger.
Are bigger?
I mean, it's really--
I don't know what I prefer, honestly.
Let's take a poll.
Somewhere in there, there's the perfect proportions,
somewhere between the two.
Okay...
Since you got the tray, let's do-- Hey, you know what?
This is a thing I haven't seen yet,
is buddies doing it.
Neighborhood nimrods.
Oh, man, I know what website we're gonna be on now.
Aah!
It tastes real bad.
We'll just take another bite this time.
I don't wanna take another bite.
We're gonna look, like, so confident the whole time.
Because that's what's gonna get the clicks.
Confidence gets the clicks. That's what my dad always says.
Get in there.
Hey, man. Look at you. You did it.
Yeah, I did it.
We just got the clicks.
Do we have another genre?
- Yes. - Yeah, yeah.
Okay, some of the videos don't go as planned,
and there's some fails.
( speaking foreign language )
Oh.
- Oh, he's not happy. - A scooter.
- Oh. - Uh-uh-uh, ooh.
- See, she got a slab of ice. - Yeah.
Yeah, she looks like you.
- Yeah, now we're talking. - That's the kind of face--
Maybe that's the whole angle.
Maybe it's about embracing the honest angle.
Yeah, she was afraid. I'm afraid.
Because honestly this was a fail.
We were told that it's a fail.
I'm not just looking at it and seeing it as a fail.
This was sup-- We've been given warning
that this probably won't stay together.
But this is how some of these things are done.
So we're trying to do a bloody-- bloody hand.
Uh, even you trying to cut that is just too much for me, man.
Look at that. It's bleeding.
You are nowhere near it, though.
I know, but this is, like, the worst sensation.
I'm gonna see if I can just pick this hand up
off completely intact,
No, my pinky's already broken.
Looks like you're doing surgery.
Just gonna--
just take the hand out gently.
That is repulsive.
- Oh, that is not bad. - You know what? That's not a fail.
Well, you lost a finger there.
That's just-- That's just par for the course.
Open mine real fast.
Look at that. It's so juicy.
Oh, you lost your finger, too.
Oh, you lost another finger.
You gotta be more-- You lost a lot.
It looks like a turkey heart.
Hey, so why don't we try this
You know what I think about this?
That this one should be longer
and all these should be broken.
Why don't you create a little vlog here,
just the honest ice vlog.
Just do it and then tell us exactly what you're thinking
I think this is horrible.
Of all the things we've done on this show,
somehow this is the worst for me.
( grunts )
Oh!
What's in it?
- How you feel? - It's salty.
Tess: Sorry about that.
We just got a "Sorry about that."
- No explanation. - Sorry about the saltiness?
Tess:
Ooh, that's harsh.
It's not that bad.
- ( groans ) - It's--
This whole thing is horrible.
It shouldn't be anywhere on the earth.
It tastes a little toxic. I do gotta say that.
I do gotta say that
'cause I'm a neighborhood nimrod.
Thanks for watching.
Me, too. You know what time it is.
Hi, I'm Shania. I'm a Mythical beast from Pikeville, Kentucky.
and it's time to spin the Wheel of Mythicality.
Let's spin it!
Click the bottom link
to watch this episode from the beginning.
And click the top link
to watch us crack open
mystery surprise ice balls
with Jim and John in "Good Mythical More."
And to find out where the Wheel of Mythicality
is going to land.
Smell fancy with our Mythical No. 9 fragrance.
Available at mythical.store.