Are you a single guy out there that would like to know how to talk to a lady?
I'm Link, and I know the answer.
Hey, I'm Cara from Connecticut, and this is Chia Lincoln from North Carolina.
Let's talk about that.
♪ (theme music) ♪
- Good Mythical Morning. - This episode is brought to you by
Kotula's, The Guys With The Goods. Visit Kotulas.com.
You can go there to get things like the Cooper Cooler. This thing, you put a drink
in there... a minute later, it is refrigerator-cold. You can put
bottles in there. You can put cans in there. They got all kinds of stuff like
this at Kotula's. I'm gonna use this later because I like my beverages chilled before
- consuming them. - You can also warm baby bottles in there.
It's also like some sort of monster. (scary voice) Put drinks in me!
I make them cold!
It's time for a first ever Good Mythical Morning installment of Link's Golden
Advice for Single Guys. This is when I, Link, give you single guys golden advice
- to help you get un-single-ized. - (smoothly) It's pretty simple. And when
Link talks about, you know, giving advice to the single guys, I like to use this voice
because this voice has been very effective for me in the years past,
before I met my wife. Now that I got my wife, I just talk to her like this and she
- likes it a lot. So, Link-- - Probably not really, though.
I'm going to read a couple of comments that we got here. I noticed a pattern here.
- We had MaxMohrmann-- - You really gonna do this the whole time?
- (normally) No, you want me to stop? - Now's a good point.
- Okay. - No one will notice that you stopped.
We had MaxMohrmann. He said: Dear Link... I don't know if he's a-- he's not a Mormon.
It's not spelled like that, but you know, we'll put it on the screen.
- But it's fine if he is, I guess. - Dear Link, how should you approach
a girl? AppleOfInternalHappy says: How do you start a conversation with a girl?
- Mm. - And MrStrawberryfields4 -- because
MrStrawberryfields 1, 2, and 3 were taken-- How do I work up the gumption to speak to
a girl whose name is still a mystery to me? So, I noticed a pattern here as I looked
- at the questions for you, - Yes, I see the pattern.
- all-knowing man... - of un-single-ization.
of un-single-ization. De-single-ization. Guys wanna know how to approach girls
and talk to 'em. That's what they want. They need that. They want that. And you
have it. You have this sweater and the tie which means you have the credentials.
Here goes. First of all, I wanna put your mind at ease. I once was no different
- than you. I was also single. - Really?
And I was afraid to talk to the ladies. Back in middle school, even when I got
a girlfriend and I was no longer technically single, I was still afraid to
talk to my girlfriend because there was this obligation to speak to her and carry
on a boyfriend-girlfriend type relationship, I guess?
- Yeah. - Even in middle school, which is
- ridiculous in and of itself. - Yeah, it is.
Just wait, middle schoolers, Don't even worry about it.
- You don't need a girlfriend. - But I felt this pressure to call her
on the phone. Now this is Leslie and then Amber, my first two girlfriends in middle
school, which were incidentally also your two first girlfriends at different times.
- Small town. - I would hear people talking in middle
school: "Oh, I talked to my girlfriend last night on the phone."
Oh, I guess I need to call her. I would get so nervous calling her on the phone,
I decided I was gonna write down the things that I was going to say.
- You know why you did this, though. - Yeah, 'cause you'd get on there...
- No, I gave you the system. - No you didn't, did you?
Because I was going out with Amber and I said the way that I have a conversation
with Amber is by writing down on a piece of notebook paper...
- An outline? - The four or five things that I'm gonna
- talk to her about. - I thought that was my idea.
- Are you sure? I think it was my idea. - Yeah, I thought I gave you the idea.
Well, it didn't work either way. I would go through 'em all in the first 45 seconds
- and I'd say, "Okay, bye." - Okay. Right, right.
- So you had trouble talking to females. - Yeah, it's not...
But this is about approaching the female for the first time, you know? That's what
- these guys are asking about. - My advice is this. Explanation to follow.
- Remember Miss Perfect. - I remember Miss Perfect.
Okay. In college, North Carolina State University, you find yourself seeing
familiar faces all over the place even if you never talk to 'em. There was this one
girl that we both saw. Our other roommate, Greg, he also saw this girl at different times.
- She was hard to miss. - She was very pretty. And she wore these
- boots and these skirts and these tops... - Boots and skirts and tops.
- That pretty much says it all. - And it was all notable.
Even from across campus. And we just got to talking about her.
We never talked to her, but we started calling her "Miss Perfect."
We kind of had a similar schedule. I remember we would go to the Brickyard
at NC State to eat lunch and she ate lunch at approximately the same time
a couple of times during the week. We would just sit there at this table and all
- we would do was talk about and look at-- - Talk about her.
- Miss Perfect. Who often ate alone! - And we would never talk to her. Ever.
- Talk about her a lot. - And they're two very different things.
I want you to move from looking at someone who you consider to be
Miss Perfect to actually speaking to Miss Perfect. Here's what happened.
And let me say real quick: A lot of people say, "You guys are excluding all the
females out there 'cause you're just giving advice to single guys." But girls,
this kind of applies to you because you need to know what guys are thinking.
- Right. - Okay?
Leave a comment and let me know, as you're processing this advice, what you're thinking.
Leave a comment. Now, we did see her with one guy, and the dude's name... I'll keep
it from you for a second. But there was a guy we'd see with her and think,
"This must be her boyfriend," and then Greg said, "I have a weightlifting class
- with Miss Perfect's boyfriend... - That's an in. That's an in.
- "and he has a tattoo and it says 'Cash.'" - It had a dollar bill on there and it said
- "Cash." - Which is ridiculous.
- Yeah. - She's dating this guy?
- Yep. - "She could be talking to me, at least,"
- is what we were all thinking, right? - But we didn't have tattoos.
And then we find out that the guy's name is actually Cash, which I don't know if
- that makes it worse or better. - Mm.
- You be the judge of that. - Yeah.
So that's the first thing. This guy probably had the guts to talk to her.
So lesson learned: You could be Cash. But then, years later... I'm talking just
a year ago. I'm at home... this is years after college, whatever. I get a text
- From me. - from Rhett and it says,
- "Miss Perfect is on television." - "Turn on Wipeout."
So I go to Wipeout, and... you didn't say Miss Perfect was on, you said,
"Turn on Wipeout." So I go and I turn on Wipeout and I see the hostess, who I'd
seen many times. The girl who's down on the Wipeout field cracking jokes.
- Jill. - She's pretty. I was like-- it clicked.
- Miss Perfect. - Yep.
And then I remembered all of those times I looked at her but never decided to at
- least go talk to her. - Miss Perfect is Jill Wagner,
- host of Wipeout. - Hostess.
Hostess of Wipeout. You shouldn't say "hostess," I think that's sexist.
- She's just a host. - Yeah. Okay, I'm sorry.
Just like anybody else. But she's not on the show anymore. She's been replaced
because she's focusing on her acting career. She wasn't fired.
She was on the winter special a few nights ago.
That was her last appearance. Anyway, Jill from Wipeout was Miss Perfect.
- We never talked to her. What's your point? - Listen, guys. My point is: remember your
Miss Perfect. You could be tuning into television years later and realize,
"I could have talked to that girl. I could have dated that girl. She could've been
my girlfriend." It's much better to have a story that's... "Hey, that girl who hosts
that show? She rejected me." Than, "Hey, that girl who hosts that show? I saw her
on campus and talked about her a lot." How lame is that? Even the worst case
scenario is better. So there's your gumption, people. Now, the other question
is what do you say when you go up to the girl?
I'm a little confused, though, because now we're both happily married to women that
- we actually did talk to. - I have no regrets.
- And there's no regrets about that. - I took the advice I just gave you with
the woman who is now my wife and I have zero regrets.
You mean it's like a mnemonic device at this point. It's a way to remember what
you should do. Miss Perfect is a remembering tool.
Yes. I will give some practical advice of what to say when you go up to a girl.
I would say, compliment her on something that is not related to her
- physical appearance. - Like, "I like your boots."
No, that's still too close. It's more like, if she has a patch on her backpack and
you're at school, whatever school that may be, and you say, "I like your patch.
- Did you make that?" - I usually say something like, you know,
back in the day... (smoothly) "I like your boots." (normally) You know, I would
use that voice. I think talking about-- if they've got boots on...
- That's not my advice. - (smoothly) "I really like your boots.
Where'd you get your boots?" (normally) That always worked for me.
Compliment her on something not related to her physical appearance. That includes
her boots or her fashion. It's something one step removed from that so she knows
that-- maybe you're talking to her because you're only physically attracted
to her, but you're already interested in other things about her.
But all I know about her at this point is what she looks like and what she has on,
- so I say... - If she has a patch on her book bag,
- that's what I'm saying! - (smoothly) Hey, I like you boots.
- (normally) I think your boots are-- - Don't listen to him!
much better than the patch. If she has a patch, the patch is okay.
- That's my point exactly! - But who has a patch?
- Do people have patches? - It's very trendy to put patches on your
- book... packs in schools these days. - (laughs) Okay, compliment her patch.
Yeah. And then if she says, "Oh, why do you say that?" say, "I was just makin' up
somethin' so I could talk to you." That's a good followup, 'cause now you're being
- honest. - I think the point is that, like I said,
we're both married to women. Happily married.
- Different women. - Have been for a long time.
I have my own wife and Link has his own wife. Both of the situations started in
the same way. We saw our wives in a public place and we just went up and started
talking to them. I think I... my wife wasn't wearing boots at the time,
so I couldn't compliment on her boots, but I did say something like,
(smoothly) "How you doin'?" (normally) You know, something like that.
- I recommend using the voice. - I can't believe that worked.
The way I met my wife was there was a social and it was a rollerskating social.
It was a very cool thing for college kids to rollerskate back in my day.
Not really, but it was so uncool it became cool. But everyone's lined up outside so
I just kind of... I saw her. I noticed my wife, not knowing that she'd be my wife.
- Did she have on boots or rollerskates? - Uh, neither. Like tennis shoes,
- probably. I can't really remember that. - Did you compliment them?
No. I said, "I like your patch." And she was like, "I don't have a patch."
- Oh. You went there. - No, I didn't. I said,
- "You know how to rollerskate?" - Oh, that's good.
- She said no. I said-- - "Let me teach you."
- (smoothly) "Let me teach you." - (laughs) That's good, Link!
You taught her how to rollerskate and now she's your wife.
- It works. - So what I hear you saying is that--
Go to rollerskating rinks and... if they're in a commensurate age to you,
then ask them if you can teach them to rollerskate.
Just do it. If there's somebody that you would like to talk to, just go up and talk
to 'em. If they have a patch on their backpack...
No regrets, people! They're gonna be on television one day and you'll at least
- wanna have a good story to tell! - If they have a patch on their backpack,
you can compliment that. If they have on boots... I think tellin' a girl "nice boots"...
Women, comment: Do you like it when guys say "nice boots" if you have on boots?
I think you do.
- Yeah, let him know in the comments. - But whatever it is, initiate a conversation.
I'm supposed to be giving the advice and I gave it.
- Okay. I'm just trying to help you out here. - You don't need to help me out and you
don't need to help them out. We got it covered. Me and you, people, we got it.
- Now go and be golden. - Spin the wheel.
Whatever comes up on the wheel is how we end Good Mythical Morning.
You can add your suggestions on Facebook and Twitter.
- Thumb wrestle. - You know what? Thumb wrestle.
Pause. Let's not do this, because tomorrow is a blackout day.
- Oh. - We need to tell these people.
That's right, I totally forgot. We are not going to end the episode the same way.
We're not gonna thumb wrestle. We're gonna save thumb wrestling for another day.
Don't you wish you could see us thumb wrestle? That's the point, people.
Because we are not going to have an episode of Good Mythical Morning tomorrow,
Wednesday, January 18th, and here's why: I'm not gonna go into the details too much
about this, but you might have heard about SOPA, the Stop Online Piracy Act,
which seems like such a great idea when you think about it on the surface and you
hear about it. Even guys like us, we make a living with intellectual property.
We sell music, songs that we write. We've got a movie that we sold.
We've got a television show that's out there for you to buy and download.
We like it when you do those things honestly and buy those things instead of
pirating them. However, SOPA and its counterpart, PIPA, are horrible ideas for
reasons that I'm not gonna go into 'cause a lot of people who are smarter than us
and know a lot more about these issues than we do have talked about them
extensively in a number of videos. We're gonna link to one of those.
But the point is we are going to join in with the boycott, which is a blackout
tomorrow where hopefully you'll feel a little pain of not getting Good Mythical
Morning and that will make us feel nice, but even moreso, you will become educated
- about SOPA. - So we're gonna put up some information
tomorrow in that video about what you can do to be a part of stopping SOPA and we'll
be back here on Thursday.
[Captioned by Caitrin: GMM Captioning Team]