Coronavirus.
It's the pandemic that keeps on going long after it should,
like a zombie on The Walking Dead or just The Walking Dead.
Even as millions of Americans are getting vaccinated
every day, there are places where coronavirus
is still as out of control as a Zoom kindergarten.
And no state has it worse right now than Michigan.
As new cases of COVID-19 surge in Michigan,
state leaders are begging for a surge of vaccines.
...about surging vaccines into the state of Michigan.
NEWSWOMAN: Some national health experts
are rallying behind them.
We need to get in the habit of trying to surge resources
into those hot spots.
NEWSWOMAN: And Michigan is a hot spot.
COVID-19 positivity rates haven't been this high here
since the start of the pandemic.
And hospitalizations are nearing peak levels.
The Biden administration so far sticking to its plan
of doling out vaccines based on population.
When you take it away from one state,
you never know where you're gonna have another surge.
Okay, look, this is a complicated situation,
but I don't know if the Biden administration's logic
makes sense here.
You can't move vaccines from other states
because they might get a surge?
Yo, Michigan has a surge right now!
That's like having a rhino on the loose,
and animal control says: "Sorry, we can't help you,
"because if we come over there, a hippo might pop up over here.
We can't take the risk."
If you ask me, the simplest and fairest way
to decide where the vaccine should go is,
you get a giant map of the United States,
and then you have Dr. Fauci throw a dart at it.
Yeah. And with the way he throws,
some doses might finally go to Africa.
Yes! We did it, Africa!
Oh, and now the CDC is saying that instead of more vaccines,
what Michigan needs is another shutdown.
But instead, Governor Whitmer is just suggesting
that people stop gathering in groups and going to restaurants.
Now, I know a lot of people are like,
"Why would you do that, Governor?
Why not do something stronger?" Yo, in the governor's defense,
don't forget, the last time she tried to mandate
safety precautions, the state capitol got stormed
and a bunch of crazy people tried to kidnap her.
So I can see why this time she's like,
"You know what? You guys do your own thing.
(chuckles) "I'm not trying to get killed
because you mother (bleep) don't want to order takeout."
And here's why the CDC says more vaccines aren't the solution.
If a community starts getting vax'd up now,
it will still take six weeks
before people there have immunity.
Which means it's far more important
for people who are still waiting for the vaccine
to just continue wearing masks.
And while this should be easy for most people to understand,
well, Florida still exists.
A new study found continued mask use
could save 14,000 lives across the U.S.
They say even the vaccinated should wear masks
because of new COVID strains.
But down in Florida, defiance in Fort Lauderdale,
where a crowd in the hundreds gathered for what was billed
as a Million Mask-less March,
burning their face coverings,
all while Florida continues to see increases
in cases and deaths.
Experts pointing to mostly mask-less
spring break celebrations as a factor.
Wow! What a dream protest for Trump supporters.
You get to destroy your mask and increase carbon emissions.
Whoo! And, in fact, according to a new poll,
Burning Pile of Masks is now the frontrunner
in Florida's next Senate race.
For real, though, people, this protest was ridiculous.
Especially at the end, when Matt Gaetz threw his phone
into the fire.
I mean, that was just weird. Why would he-- oh...
On the other hand, though, we are talking about Florida here.
So I'm just impressed that they took off their masks
before they lit them on fire.
Oh, and just by the way...
can you please stop calling your shit "million something march"?
All right? If you're not gonna get a million people,
then don't use the name.
What you should do is call it the 12-Person March,
so that when 40 people show up, we'll all be like, "Damn!
Look at that turnout! Whoo!"