RV - What Are Men Lacking These Days Horrible Reddit Advice
[0:00:00] What are men lacking these days? According
to Running-With-Cakes, “A backbone.” Own-Cupcake7586 says, “Emotional maturity.” OkEngineering9441
says, “Masculinity. Men are becoming pussified, abusive, and feminine. If you don't treat
people well and are too cowardly to stand up for yourself or others whether you're at
a disadvantage or not, then you can hardly call yourself a man.”
In today's video, gents, we're going to have some fun. There are going to be points here
that you disagree with. There are going to be points that you agree with.
And let's keep the conversation going by down in the comments, I want to know by the end
of this video which one is the one you 100% agree with, the ones that, yeah, you think
are flat out wrong. [Music]
So, Prestigious_Quote525 says, “Unpopular opinion, but manners. Like, learn how to eat
like human and not an animal. Be kind, patient, and learn to slow the F down and enjoy life.”
Now, personally, I agree with this one. I feel that as a society we've become more relaxed
and the pushing of manners as a whole has gone down.
Now, there are many places many families probably yours perhaps where manners were taught. And
if they weren't, I'd love to hear in the comments below how you picked up good manners.
But, in general and maybe, again, this is me growing up in West Texas in the 1980s,
just simply you addressed teachers as sir as ma'am. You showed people respect. I don't
see that happening too much. I know that's kind of a southern thing, but,
yeah, it's just something in general I find that people are much more casual lackadaisical
attitude towards manners in general. Now, according to Learning_24-7, “It's good
old primal masculine urges like exploration of nature, hunting, building, being the best
version of themselves etc.” Now, I know a lot of you guys are going to
agree with this one, but for me what I’m seeing is that's not the case. I live, again,
though in a small town rural Wisconsin and we've got guys going out hunting all the time
four-wheelers. We got a lot of scouts in this area, so they're going out camping, exploring
the woods. And maybe it's because I’ve got also a lot
of ex-military buddies, so they do things like this. But, this one I really feel it's
who you're surrounding yourself with. If you're out, you know, in the suburbs Southern California,
yeah, perhaps you're not seeing that very much. But, if you live I think in the Midwest
or you live in, you know, a rural area, I think all that stuff is alive and well.
Now, this next point is one I know a lot of you guys can relate with and I was very happy
to see it was highly upvoted and that is positive male influences.
Seriously, so many guys are lacking this nowadays because they're not growing up with a father.
They don't have -- I was very fortunate. My dad wasn't around, but I did have some awesome
coaches whether it was football, whether it was track, whether it was just mentors that
took me in when I was in the military and made sure that I had the structure, I had
the direction I needed to be able to become the man I know myself to be.
Now, do these guys need to look like Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sylvester Stallone? No. Actually,
one of my favorite comments by k3m3 said, “This is why I haven't been the same since
Richard Simmons withdrew from public life.” Now, initially I thought that was a joke until
I read all the comments below, everyone talking about how Richard Simmons is actually a great
positive influence. And I thought about I'm like, you know what? They are exactly right,
the guy was always positive, kept people moving. Yeah, you know, he was sweating to the oldies
and doing his thing. But, I'm thinking like Mr. Rogers, another
great male influencer that really we just don't see that kind of person put up in front
of us, you know, nowadays. Now, a good point was brought up by RedditAdminsFuckOff.
He said I noticed that any man of note even remotely skirting the realm of positive male
influences is typically reduced and brought down to the level of noted member of the alt-right
status by diametrically opposed views.” Now, he definitely has a point. But, if you're
looking for a positive male influence in your life, you don't have to be searching out controversial
figures. There are tons of them all around us.
For example, check out this guy Brent Eviston. He's teaching over at Skillshare, the sponsor
of today's video and check out this class he's got going on. It is basic skills getting
started with drawing. And in this example, you know, we've got birds
and, you know, I don't know about you guys, but I love ornithology, studied birds. I just
always felt I could not draw to save my life. But, in this class right here, the guy breaks
it out. Thousands of students have gone through and
everyone's saying this exceeded my expectations. What I love about Skillshare is you can actually
see what the students submitted. These are people starting at a basic level and all of
a sudden, they're getting the skill set to be able to produce something.
I mean, absolutely beautiful. Yeah, you got to put in the practice, you got to put in
the work, but I love seeing an influence like this, a positive male influence. This guy,
Brent, just simply teaching men and women around the world how to draw.
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web. The next thing men are lacking these days
according to dirtroadking420, testosterone. And he wasn't the only one that said this.
Exact_Initiative7660 said the same thing, testosterone.
And in fact, camefromxbox not only listed testosterone, he actually linked to a study
coming out of the Yale University. So, from 1999 to 2016, they looked at all of these
men throughout the United States and they did find that in general testosterone levels
were going down. Now, to be clear, that was based off of one
study, so it hasn't been replicated. But, they did indicate on average people were heavier
than they were 20 years ago. And what we're also seeing is just more diabetes and this
is leading as well to lower levels of testosterone. Next up, we got Hextrazor01 and he says, “The
ability to stop watching porn.” And, I actually have to agree with him on this, but mostly
because, you know, 20 years ago, you just didn't have the prevalence that you have.
Yes, it was starting the internet, but you know go back 30 years, it definitely was something
that you just had to find a magazine. You know, it wasn't as readily available. Nowadays,
with all everything that we've got, you can pretty much find anything out there. So, I
do agree that that is a bigger issue for men nowadays.
Now, this next one, I will fully admit was my favorite answer and that is by biwinning_tigaa
and that is 120 gun Man O’ War, crew to rely on and trust, ample amounts of liquor,
the Caribbean sun, other ships to pillage, rob, and sink, sharpened cutlass. the pirate's
life. Men are missing the pirate's life.” Now, personally I think that pirates lies.
I think a lot of you guys will agree they've been over romanticized by Hollywood. And I
bet it was a pretty tough life pretty bad oral hygiene scurvy all that other stuff that
goes with living on a ship without, you know, vegetables without, you know, good water and,
you know, that kind of stuff. That being said, the life of a corsair kind
of an outlaw, but yet you're not, you know, that one is more interesting to me.
Now, getting back to the serious answers. Somebloke164 said, “Meaningful connections,
especially with each other.” And, I agree, it's so difficult for men past a certain age
to start connecting with other men. We get busy with life in general, a lot of guys are
standoffish, they're very guarded about their feelings.
Maybe when you're just starting off high school, college, that's when you seem to make some
really great connections. One -- one thing I think is low hanging fruit is just to start
reaching back out to your friends. And don't take it bad whenever they don't immediately
get back to you. You know, be the guy that goes that extra
mile and, you know, you reach out to five, you maybe get one or two that connect, you
know make a thing of it. Maybe set up a trip, set up – and, yes, you may have to travel
to them. You may have to go that extra mile, but there's no traffic on the extra mile.
And it is worth it because at the end of your life, guys, you know, we think about like
who's going to be at your funeral? Who are going to be the guys carrying your casket?
And even to add to that, if you're in your 40s, 50s, or 60s, make -- make relationships
with younger guys. Find somebody you can mentor. I remember reading a story about a guy that
was in his 50s and 60s and realized all of his friends were dying and he said, “You
know what? I want people I want there to be a lot of people at my funeral.”
So, he spent the next decade building relationships with younger men and women that he could mentor
that he could help. And at his funeral, exactly what, you know, he expected. And everyone
was surprised by his family especially is all of these young people were at his funeral
because he had been someone that because of his gray hair and because of his experience
he was able to give them guidance and they respected and they loved him.
Another great answer from ExplorerUpstairs, “To me, the biggest things I feel are lacking
are rights of passage and mentorship. I feel these explain a lot or the directionless you
see in men these days.” I have to 100% agree on this one. I think
when you had smaller tribes, there were certain things that were done whenever a boy became
a man and we all marked that. But, nowadays, we don't see that in society.
What? Maybe a driver's license? Maybe your 21st birthday, your friends take you out and
get you drunk, you know. But that's not a rite of passage. I know for me, when I was
in Boy Scouts, it was the order of the arrow, although, I have to say that I didn't finish
all of that. I did become an eagle scout, so that was a rite of passage.
[0:10:00] High school sports, joining -- be on the varsity
football team. My senior year I didn't make, you know, it took me a while. I was always
second string even my senior year, but still I made the team.
Going to regionals in track, you could argue that that kind of pain and pushing yourself
to that level was a, you know, coming of rights coming of -- coming of age moment.
But, college was a blur. It was more of a party. There was really nothing in college
I would say that was becoming a man. It wasn't until I joined the Marine Corps
that there was we had the crucible we had I think all of a sudden being an officer and
in charge and having my own platoon. That was huge, all of a sudden, having guys older
than me, guys that I was 100% responsible for. And I couldn't F up. You know, I had
to be on my top. I'd be looking out for these guys, I had to
be there before they were first thing in the morning. I had to be able to be a leader.
So, you know, out in fitness or whether it be just knowing everything that they knew,
plus being a little bit better. That was the expectation of being an officer.
I have to say that that for me was one of the strongest and there were other officers
that mentored me. You know, at the time Major Lee went on to become a colonel at the time
Lt Col [Craporado], who went on to become a major general.
You know, these were the kind of guys that I had above me who were mentoring me and sometimes
not very kindly, just pointing out you have a lot to do, you know, don't make up excuses,
solve the problem, make it happen. So, I remember, yeah, there was a couple months
that I slept in my office trying to learn trying to catch up trying to get ahead on
everything that needed to be done. And it was a coming of age period.
Now, we had a lot of guys, [diversityfire84], [shane727], [wifetoby], these guys were all
saying emotional support. And I agree that is something that we need more of for men
nowadays. But, I'm wondering I -- I actually feel that
men nowadays have more emotional support than we've ever had in the history. When I was
growing up, it was just something not talked about, a man kept it inside.
I'm not saying it's much better, but it seems to be slightly better. There seem to be at
least hotlines. There seem to be, you know, it's talked about in society.
But, I do feel still a lot of guys do not open up, maybe especially we don't have other
guys that we can open up to. That's really nice because guys understand and opening up
to women, I think is pretty taboo for a lot of us because we feel even though they say
that we can when we do it or you read stories about guys that do it, it seems like they're
rejected or they're seen as -- as weak. I don't know. What do you guys think? Let
me know -- let me know in the comments what you've experienced.
Now, at the beginning of this video, we talked about masculinity and I have to agree that
I think that there is a lack of masculinity today, but not necessarily for the reason
a lot of men do. I think most people have a bad definition
of masculinity. They somehow think it should be the polar opposite of being feminine of
being a woman of being a femininity and that's not true. To me, masculinity is the opposite
of being a child. And we live in a world in which, again, there's
not, you know, rights of passage. There is no encouragement of men to grow up and to
shed, you know, this, you know, basically take on responsibility to become accountable
for their actions to actually seek self-improvement industry and things like this.
This is what it means to become a productive person, a man I think in society. And instead,
you have these people that are walking around men child, you know, man child. They're not
responsible, they don't take their, you know, their own responsibility. They're not actually
looking out there to improve themselves. They are, yeah, they're simply self-absorbed narcissistic.
This is not masculinity. And that's why another where I have an issue with I see when people
say toxic masculinity. I think masculinity of itself is a great thing and I don't like
the word toxic being mixed with it. I would say if something is toxic, it's not masculine.
And hitting on that point, I really like this comment from berrysauce. It's a woman and
she said that, “You know, I'm not a man, but I can already tell you it's responsibility,
purpose, and appreciation. This society has set men up for a life of perpetual childhood.
It's no wonder so many men are unhappy.” And, I agree, a man without purpose, that
is a man that will have a very difficult time with life. Agree? Disagree? Again, guys, I
love hearing from you guys. Let me know in the comments below.
And what video to watch next? Well, how about do women prefer masculine or feminine men?
Again, it was a lighthearted fun video, go check it out, guys. I thought it was pretty
good. Yeah, right here, guys, I will link to it, go check it out, solid video.
[0:14:35] End of audio