-Look how studly you are in this.
The cover of
-My wife -- My wife says I look exactly like my father.
-Is that right?
-Yeah, which I don´t think was a compliment.
-No, it is. Yeah. Is this --
This is what
Is this a throwback issue, or that´s how it looks like now?
-You see? Even you think it´s old.
-No. You look like you! -No, you think it´s old!
-No, this -- This ain´t your father´s
But, I mean, you look great. But this looks new to me, right?
-It looks like old-timey to me. -I know.
-I´ll tell you right now. -I´ll tell you right now.
It´s fantastic.
I want to talk about this story you told me once.
We were talking about your first performance,
where you knew, like, you crushed it, you nailed it.
It was on stage, right? -It was on stage.
I was doing a pl-- I was doing "The King and I"
down in Daytona Beach, Florida, at the Daytona Playhouse.
And it was brand-new to me, and I was experiencing
a renaissance of my excitement of what´s going on.
-Sure.
-And -- But the problem was
is that the makeup I was using --
I was using purple eyelid makeup.
-Yes, okay, yeah. It´s "The King and I."
-Yeah, and so when I took the makeup off at night,
it left a pink hue on the eyelids,
and I would walk around town
with all this pink, stretched-out eyelids.
And it´s like -- It was creating some issues.
-Yeah, sure. Of course.
-Some unwanted attention. -Of course.
-So, I asked a friend of mine, Louis.
I said, "How can I get this off?"
And he said, "Easy.
Before you put the makeup on,
you put a dab of Vaseline on there, then the makeup.
And when you take the tissue, it wipes completely off. Done."
So, the first night I did it, I put the Vaseline on,
and then we put the pink, you know, the purple,
and it´s all working fine.
About the -- Near the end of the play, the King is dying.
And I play the Kralahome looking over the King like,
"You have killed King!"
Well, by then, the Vaseline was so liquidy
because of the hot lights
that it was seeping into my eyes,
and I was crying buckets.
There was actually a puddle on the stage.
Water was dr-- I couldn´t help it.
It was dripping, and I was, "Oh, my God. I can´t see."
And people came backstage and said,
"Oh, my -- Ohh!
-"Bravo!
-Oh, my God! Ohhh! -Bravo!
That was so realistic! -Oh, so realistic!
-How do you do it every single night?"
Every single night."
And I thought, "Hmm." A little Vaseline.
-Vaseline every show. -A little Vaseline, yeah.
-You were -- Is this the time
when you were selling sunscreen during the daytime?
-Yeah, so I was traveling around the country
on my motorcycle for a couple years.
-I love it, yeah. I love this Bryan Cranston.
Of course you did that. -Yeah, yeah, I did that.
-I know in my head -- I see that you did that.
See, I don´t see this Bryan Cranston.
-No, you don´t see that guy? -This is the studly guy.
This guy´s got it all under control, but this guy´s a rebel.
-This guy, yeah. -Yeah, he rides motorcycles.
-He´s got an attitude, that guy. -Yeah, of course.
-So, during the day, I got a job
on a hotel pool deck selling lotions,
and at night, I went to the theater.
So, during the day --
It paid really well, which is rare in 1976.
And so I had to sell these lotions.
But I´m an Irish guy with white skin.
And I said -- She said, "Can you do this?"
I go, "Yeah, I can do it. I can sell it." You know?
And so I would have --
The tourists would come down from the Northeast,
and they come down, and they want a tan like
And I said, "You can tan like
if you use this nice oil product.
Here´s what I think you should do.
If use the oil product in the morning
when the sun isn´t at its peak,
then you´re drawing in the sun´s rays
and you´re welcoming in the tan, right?"
Around about noon or 1:00,
I would go with a little sunscreen.
"Here. This lotion. And you put the lotion on.
And at the end of the day, after you´ve started your tan,
you want to seal it.
You want to seal the..."
I didn´t know what --
-This is so good. I would have totally done this.
How do you seal it now?
-You want to capsulate the tan to hold it.
-Of course. Yes! -Right? You want to hold it in.
And so that´s where the aloe vera comes in.
So I would sell three bottles. They´re like, "Done. Got it."
-All the stages going into this.
-Yeah, exactly.
-I would have totally done it, as well.
I would have, like, bought that from you.
I would have bought anything from you,
including Preparation H.
-Oh, geez.
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Wow.
First of all, you´re a stud.
So it doesn´t matter you´re holding a tube of Preparation H.
-Yeah.
-Did you do a lot of commercials? Was that a thing?
-I did a lot of commercials when I was younger, yeah.
And I got those big Sally Jessy Raphael glasses.
-Yeah, I love those.
-This was in probably 1983 or something like that.
I was 25 years old.
And I justified it by saying,
"Well, I´m an expert in hemorrhoids
but not a sufferer."
-Okay, okay. Let´s make that clear, yeah.
-"And if you suffer from the inflammation
of hemorrhoidal tissue,
use Preparation H with oxygen action."
And then -- I don´t know what that is, but --
-"Then you´re gonna want to seal the hemorrhoid."
-Seal the hemorrhoid.