In 2017.
I woke up one morning and had these red marks
all over my arms and from my knees down.
Just out of nowhere.
I woke up with intense itching and pain and
scratching and couldn't figure out what was going on.
And I mean, it was like I'd been burned.
Just bright red, very intense.
So, I went to the doctor and they didn't say, well, we're not sure what that is.
Looks like maybe some eczema or something going on.
He gave me some creams,
and said, this should this kind of help calm it down.
And so I put it on and it just intensified so that went from a flat red burn
look to big bumps, pus type, you know,
big large nodules underneath my skin.
And I went back to him and I said, this isn't working.
It's actually getting worse.
It's spreading all over my my arms and legs getting worse.
Took some biopsies and came
back, said it looks like it's particular psoriasis.
So he started give me some ointments and creams. It made it feel like it
it was kind of stunting the spread, but it wasn't making it any better.
And if I didn't put it on, it just kept growing and kept growing,
and getting worse. Big
nodules everywhere all over my arms
and legs and hundreds of dollars worth of vitamins.
I started drinking green smoothies.
No gluten, no eggs, no dairy, nothing.
I was just trying everything, anything I could think of
and just wasn't getting any better.
And so I finally went to a new dermatologist, an elderly
dermatologist who was close to retirement, and he took one look and said
that is the worst case of pustular psoriasis I've ever seen in my entire life.
And I said, OK, what do we do?
And he said, well, you're going to have to give yourself an injection every month.
And I said, OK, for how long will it take to do these injections?
And he said, forever.
He said, this is an autoimmune disease.
Autoimmune diseases don't mean diseases don't go away.
This injection is just going to help
mitigate and dampen down your symptoms, but it's not going to take it away.
But you'll be
able to deal with it a lot better.
And somewhere down deep inside, I just felt like,
this came from somewhere.
I mean, it started two years before I did something.
I don't I don't understand it.
But if you would have told me it was stress
that caused it, I would have denied it.
I mean, I I've been through graduate school,
all kinds of stress in my life and never had this type of problem.
And I knew I was having some stress in my life,
but I would have denied that it was stress related, but
so deep down, I just felt like there was another answer.
I didn't feel like I was going to have to take these injections the rest of my life.
It is about a month later,
I happened to...
well, this whole thing just took me into a depression
and my anxiety levels went way up.
I just had a hard time functioning.
I just constantly felt stress.
I could feel these rush of chemicals in my chest and
all the time and oh, it was horrible.
And, so I was bored
and there was an Ad on Facebook for getting three months of Gaia
for a dollar.
And you're talking about documentaries of ancient Egypt,
and I'm like, OK, I'll click on that.
And I just happened to find a video of Dr Dispenza on there.
I clicked on it, and I immediately
was just so riveted by what he said.
And, I knew what he was saying
was true and it just really hit me.
And so, I immediately started watching every video
I could find of Dr Dispenza online and YouTube on Gaia.
And then it just wasn't enough.
I had an insatiable appetite for more information.
So I bought all his books and I listened to all the books and
started listening.
You know, I started following his recommendations of doing meditation.
So like, OK, I'm going to get up early, an hour early.
And I started meditating.
I didn't know if I was even doing it right.
I just followed some of the early meditations
where you do an induction, you just trying to calm yourself down.
And then, I didn't know what to do after that.
I thought I was supposed to be visualizing being healed in the future
and visualizing myself but,
now I know we're supposed to be thinking about nothing.
But for me, I was just thinking about seeing myself healed.
And you're
trying to feel gratitude while for my healing.
And, it's really hard when you're depressed
trying to muster up feelings of gratitude - it is really hard.
And so I had to think about what I was going to do when I was healed.
And so I started visualizing, helping other people and some charities
that I wanted to start, and some things I wanted to do and communities and
helping other people.
And then I would visualize myself
after I'd help these people and the joy
and gratitude they were showing to me for helping them.
And that gave me some joy, like I'm able to give back
and that's where I latched onto my gratitude and my joy.
And so, then it became more about healing myself because
I need to be there to help these other people.
And so what I found is I started having little experiences
where I felt joy and that pressure,
anxiety and depression that was just on me, just kind of lifted.
And that burden of it was easing up.
And I, I felt some joy.
And so I didn't want to get out of my meditations.
And so I knew I was on the right track, but then I have to get up and go to work,
so I get up.
And then I was doing home health as a physical therapist
and I drive from place to place.
And I, notice that the weight just slowly started creeping back in.
And so, out of desperation, I couldn't I didn't want to deal with that anymore.
And so I started, like,
100% of the time I was
listening to Dr Dispenza,
and so in the car I turn on Dr Dispenza, then I start driving and
just listen to him either as books or I start a YouTube video,
and then I just put it down and listen to the audio while I was driving.
And it started bringing me hope.
And then that anxiety would just lift as I listened to him.
And I just did that constantly, hours every day.
I mean, any break I had, that's all I did.
And it got to the point where it was information overload.
My brain is like, I can't take anymore.
And so it stopped helping me.
So then I switched to my meditation playlist.
So, the way I got my meditation music is I just started listening to music on
Pandora and I listened to
epic music, you know, music from movies,
instrumental stuff, because they really know how to elicit emotion
when you're watching a movie.
And so, my guess what I'm going for. So as I listen to Pandora,
I'm like, Oh, that's a good one. I really felt the energy, so I'd
screenshot it and save it til I had about ten of them,
then I downloaded all those songs and put them in a playlist,
and that's what I listened to in my meditations.
And then I started listening to it while I was driving,
and then that would keep me going and so I'd go back and forth
between listen to my meditation music while I was driving or listen to Dr
Dispenza. And boy, it just got me through.
So after about
and, you know, it was an up and down like Dr
Dispenza talks about,
it wasn't consistently getting better, better, better, better.
It was like having these great experiences.
I'd feel so amazing.
I'd come home and like,
you know, even listening to that stuff, I mean, I could feel
my energy was kind of dropping a little bit,
but not too much because I'd kept it up with
listening Dr Dispenza and my music, and so...
but I was anxious to do my meditation again to find that relief.
And there would be times I'd come in, I'd sit down and like, OK, here we go.
I'm going to find relaxation and feel that peace.
I couldn't get in that mode, and it just actually stress me out.
And it made me worse, like, Oh, I just need that peace and it wouldn't come.
So, you know, I found that, OK, I just got to relax and just
everyday's different, but slowly I was getting better
and I was feeling a little bit more lighter every day.
Three, four months
later, after I first started Dr Dispenza, listening to him,
I was really kind of getting a rhythm of driving
and listening to that music and I was trying to feel gratitude everywhere
I was driving as I was, instead of focusing on the person in front of me,
I was also trying to look at the sky
and look at the clouds and try to feel gratitude.
And I was driving and I had my playlist on
and I just felt it was like down deep,
and I just started feeling gratitude
and visualizing,
well, actually, I
at some point I was just feeling so much love and gratitude
while I was driving,
and I just looked up into the sky
and immediately this power like you've never experience before, this...
Wham!.. shot
through my head, down through my entire body.
And every single cell in
my body was just on electric.
It was just buzzing.
And, the love in my heart was just exploding.
And it was unreal, absolutely unreal.
I was just like, is this happening to me?
I was couldn't even explain it.
It was so incredible.
And right then I knew, OK, I don't need those injections anymore.
They weren't really helping.
I don't need the medications.
I don't need topical ointments, nothing.
I knew that I'd been healed.
And slowly,
over the next few weeks, the all the skin just
just faded away in my my body and went away.
And the rest of that day, I mean, I was around people and I felt
this incredible love for everyone, everything.
I was like amazed. Like I'd never been to the earth before,
or something, I just showed up.
I had never seen anything or any thing before,
even other what people had created, you know, looking at
a pen or looking at
a cup, a unique cup and the design.
I'm thinking somebody thought of that and they created that.
And then I was noticing insects and flowers
like I'd never seen before and how amazing they were.
And this little bug could move. And I,
and people I
was around people and little kids are running around me.
And normally you might feel annoyed with it,
but it's like this love for each of these kids.
It was just unreal.
And then you see their parents and you just feel so much love
for these parents that are trying to care for these kids and teach them.
I just came in to describe the love I felt for everyone,
everything - it was the most intense experience.
And it lasted for about the real intense
for the rest of that day and and some of the next day.
But I still felt really elevated for the next week, two weeks.
And so ever since that, like I said, my psoriasis just went away.
And it was,
it was just such
an amazing experience to witness. And my wife,
who is a very big doubter of Dr Dispenza's work and like, OK, that's weird.
But whatever, she saw me meditating, but after that she was like blown
away, like, oh, my gosh, this is this is amazing.
It's been a couple of years now since I healed myself.
And I went back to the dermatologist, as I was saying,
and I said, hey, do you remember me?
And I showed them pictures from my camera.
I said, you remember me?
And he said, Oh, yeah, absolutely.
And then I showed him my arms and legs, and he was just blown away.
He's like, how or how is it gone?
And I told him that I had stopped the medication two years ago, and the injections.
And I told him about Dr Dispenza and he was like, I am listening to that book.
That sounds like a really good book.
So I just wanted to share what happened to me.
So maybe you can learn because there are so many things to learn.
I'd never meditated before.
I tried it before, and you just sit there and like,
OK, I'm, I need to get up and get doing things.
You know, I didn't know how to meditate.
And that was the biggest thing is I had to learn and I wasn't sure
if I was doing it right, but apparently I was.
And now I know that I must have been
putting myself in a trance, you know, a little bit when I was driving
because we all kind of do that when we're driving, we kind of zone out.
And, as I was zoning out, you know, I still pay
attention to the road, but I had I was like using my peripheral vision
you know, with my senses to
sense gratitude and sense this connection with the higher power,
and fill in the joy and gratitude, and by having no other thoughts
in my mind other than gratitude and love and trying to connect.
And I think that was the secret that worked for me.
And it just opened that door, to
unconditional love.
And it was amazing.