Matt: Where you from? Girl: I'm from Belarus Matt: Oh what are you doing Belarus? Girl: I study there!
Matt: What do you study? Girl: Editing! Matt: What kind of editing?
Girl: Books, magazines.. Matt: Oh, what kind of books? Girl: Any type of books.
Matt: What type of books do you like to read? Girl *frustrated*: Arghh.. Matt: Asking too many questions will turn her off faster
than a solar eclipse on steroids I don't even know what that means
but we've always been told to be more interesting we need to seem interested
in others but how do you seem interested in somebody else without asking them a
lot of questions that's kind of an oxymoron throw how to win friends and
influence people out the window because it's actually pretty easy and today I'm
gonna give you three conversational techniques that will make you seem like
the most fascinating conversationalist ever especially using my third technique
called the bullseye method where she's gonna think you're a freaking mind
reader and I'm gonna give you a simple exercise that you can do that's actually
a really fun that's gonna start conditioning you and really turn you
into the most interesting and fascinating conversationalist she's
probably ever met
look man I used to be really insecure in high school I felt like I didn't have
anything interesting about me or anything to say or contribute to the
conversation so I would normally just remain quiet but after I started a band
in college and we became fairly successful we toured with bands like
Linkin Park and we were even on TV for a short time I started gaining more
confidence in myself and I felt like I had something to say and as I keep doing
interesting things like traveling the world I've been to 79 countries now and
keep learning new skills I've noticed that I just have so much more to talk
about in conversations so before we get into the actual verbal techniques that
you can use to draw people in and make people think you're fascinating the root
cause might be that you just don't have enough life experiences yet because the
more that you do the more that you experience the more you have to talk
about I mean the more stories you'll be able to tell but if you can't travel the
world what can you do you can learn and keep growing learn about different
things take classes classes in your city online classes or just read books about
different subjects because the more you know the more dynamic of a person you
become therefore more interesting and just try different things man on the
weekends or nights that you're free instead of doing the same old activity
do something different if you never cook try cooking something try going to
different restaurants that you've never been to go to like a Ethiopia restaurant
if you've never been find out what things are available around you in your
city and online things that you've never experienced and just try them out you
never know you might find something that you absolutely love that becomes a new
passion or hobby and even if it doesn't you at least have that experience now
but besides cultivating more life experiences so that you have more
stories to tell let's get into the three verbal techniques that are gonna make
you more fascinating first technique is called the cliffhanger now I really love
this technique because it gets people wondering what the heck are you gonna
say next so it really draws them in they're like
huh what tell me and it just brings all the attention all the focus on you this
works really great as a opener at a bar or club when you first approach somebody
and you can also use it as a text message because it'll
much always get the girl to reply so let's get to some examples you won't
believe what just happened then you can follow that up with something your
friend said or maybe a story about how a girl grabbed your ass or how about I
think you have a confession to make oh I love this one over text and then I
just follow up with something kind of silly some funny roleplay how she was
like spying on me outside my window trying to sneak a peek and a lot of time
the girl will roll playback another one hey did you guys see the fight outside
finish now this is a super old-school like pick up ie opener from back in the
day but it's a good example of a cliffhanger but girls are gonna want to
know oh my god who's fighting what happened girls liking drama this is also
a great way to just introduce a story that you want to tell technique number
two is called the emotional answer because let's face it guys we tend to
give the kind of boring logical answer when somebody asks us a question hey
what's your name Steve where you from Steve Austin and what do you do for work
engineer it's so boring it doesn't give the other person anything to really
latch on to so instead give a rich emotionally charged answer and the
formula to make this work is just answer the question and then add on I love it
because I'm from Austin and I love it because there's so much live music here
it's like anytime you want to go out and check out a new band there's so many
options are you into live music notice how I ended with a question another
example I'm an engineer and I actually love it because it's like every day is a
new challenge like there's always some kind of problem to solve it's actually
one of my biggest passions is helping people solve problems what about you
what is one of your passions do you see how when you give emotionally rich
answers it gives the other person a lot of options where they want to direct the
conversation and it makes you seem a lot more interesting when you give a deeper
answer like that so if you liked this video leave a comment smash that like
button make sure to subscribe to this channel if you're not already subscribed
come on man what are you doing subscribe right now and also click that Bell
notification icon so you don't miss a thing now before we get into the third
technique which is my absolute favorite I want to give you guys a little bonus I
call it getting out of the box because most people most of my clients want
work with them live in field I noticed they just kind of live in this little
box like their vocal expressiveness only goes up so high only goes down so low
they only move their body a certain amount like you know maybe to here they
kind of talk like this and it's kind of like they're in this little box so I
want you to get the hell out of your box start expanding start being more
expressive with your body like I'm doing right now and you're talking about
something you know don't overdo it and just keep doing this just don't be
afraid to make yourself bigger sometimes speak fast with a lot of energy but then
other times slow it down again to draw the person in because it sounds like
what you're about to say is really important and when you add this bigger
variety to your body language and your tonality and your volume you're gonna
seem a lot more interesting because I mean think about it do you want to talk
to somebody who always talks like this how interesting does that seem fact I'm
probably putting you to sleep or do you want to talk to somebody who talks like
this now I'm kind of overdoing it a little bit but I hope you get the idea
start practicing that man get a little bit louder at times get a little bit
bigger when necessary talk faster at times especially when you're excited and
don't be afraid to slow it down the final technique and my personal favorite
is called the bullseye method Neil Strauss author of the game said
everybody's favorite subject is themselves and in the classic book how
to win friends and influence people Dale Carnegie basically said the same thing
get people to talk about themselves and they will love you but the problem is if
you keep asking all these questions about them it feels draining nobody
likes to be interviewed unless it's actually in an interview but even then
nobody likes that because it feels like an interrogation it's just not fun
asking too many questions makes you appear needy like you want something
from the other person it makes you come off as really try hard
it's kind of like this you have two people and every time you ask this
person a question it's like you're taking from them you're pouring out
their water and if you ask too many questions pretty soon they're gonna be
empty and they're gonna feel drained so let me ask you what do people love more
than talking about themselves do you know they love hearing about themselves
they love to know what other people think about it like how they're coming
off to others so the bullseye technique is basically making a statement about
the other person just an assumption about them or a guess and you might get
it right you might hit the bull's eye but even if you don't get it right as
long as you're somewhere on the board you score a lot of points now if you
completely miss the board and you go in the wrong direction it could actually
offend the person so try to make an educated guess but every time you make
an assumption you're giving them value it's interesting they're like whoa why
do you think that so for example if you want to know where somebody's from
instead of just saying hey where you're from which is like one of the most
common kind of boring questions you could say you kind of seem like a West
Coast girl or you seem like a East Coast girl just try to pick up on the person's
vibe and make a guess even if you're totally wrong and you say West Coast
when really she's East Coast it's no big deal she's gonna probably ask you why
did you think that and then you can just tell her why unless she's a west coast
gangsta then you might be in trouble so for example instead of saying what
nationality are you you could say you kind of seem like you're from Europe I'm
guessing Germany you either hit the bull's eye and she'll say oh my god how
did you know or you'll be slightly off and you'll miss and she'll say no I'm
actually from Sweden let's do another example let's say you want to know what
she does for work there's nothing wrong by the way of just asking her it's
smelly you can never ask questions but it's just more fun really for both of
you to make assumptions so you could say you seem pretty smart I bet you're
either a doctor or a lawyer and even if you're totally wrong and she says she's
a nurse you don't lose any points but seriously man if you get it right she's
gonna think you're a psychic like oh my god how did you know that now you might
think that you're not very good at this so let me give you an exercise that will
help you improve your assumptions so you can start hitting the bull's eye more
often than not and it's gonna help you be a lot more interesting in
conversation because it'll help you start doing this as a habit instead of
the habit that you have now which is probably just asking a bunch of
questions so next time you're able to go to a bar
or a party or some kind of social gathering and the rule is you cannot ask
any questions you can only make assumptions the entire night and it
becomes like a fun little game to see how many assumptions you get right
chances are you're probably gonna slip up and ask a question but so what just
go back to making assumptions again now if you want to be even more fascinating
in conversation and you want more techniques to help you know what to do
or what to say in different situations then make sure to download my free
conversation cheat sheet that shows you exactly what to say what to do in
various situations when you see an attractive woman for example in the
daytime how to approach her what to say to get her phone number and also what to
say on a date so that you can leave the conversation to a more playful
flirtatious and romantic vibe make sure to download it man because it's
absolutely free also make sure to follow me on instagram at matt artisan because
i'd love to chat with you and I'm always dropping a bunch of value and knowledge
on my Instagram and also leave me a comment down below I'd love to hear your
thoughts about this video or other videos you want to see on this channel
or anything at all do it man because it really helps the YouTube algorithm so if
you like this video leave a comment smash that like button make sure to
subscribe to this channel if you're not already subscribed come on man what are
you doing subscribe right now and also click that Bell notification icon so you
don't miss a thing my name's Matt artisans from the attractive man I'll
see you in the next video or hopefully at a live event soon