How to deal with manipulative people.
Imagine you have a friend,
you love your friend, but you realize a few things.
They always get what they want,
tear down your confidence and always play the victim.
What does this mean?
It might mean your friend is an emotional manipulator.
So what do you do?
Well, lucky for you, we've provided some tips to make sure you don't get played
and can hopefully help them in the end.
Number one:
Stopping the victimhood.
Maybe you notice that your friend always plays the victim, no matter what happens.
Sometimes they might actually not know what they're doing wrong and thus don't assume responsibility for their actions.
Sometimes they're doing it on purpose.
This is when the behavior is manipulative.
What you do in this case is to keep things light and positive.
Slowly let them know that it's okay to make a mistake
so they can start to accept responsibility for their actions.
Leveling the playing field.
If you tell this friend you had a bad day
they'll brush it off and tell you about the time they experienced a monsoon and an alien invasion in the same day.
These manipulators get their confidence by putting others down and belittling other people's issues and successes.
What you have to do here is to be honest.
You tell them "Hey, I appreciate you telling me your story,
and I'm glad you can empathize,
but I just need some advice or comfort or someone to listen."
By accepting what the manipulator is doing you've taken away their power to hurt you.
Lessening the load.
These people pretend to be helpless and always put you on a pedestal which puts all the pressure on you.
The way you can combat this is to slowly put them into positions of decision-making or power.
Tell them that you're uncomfortable with the weight they put on your shoulders by making you the leader all the time.
At first they might be mad,
but slowly they may appreciate, feel equal, and enjoy taking action.
Talk about it.
The classic emotional manipulator is known as a triangulate
They'll say anything to get someone on their side.
They'll break relationships, and even families by pitting people against each other.
The more support they have, the more power they feel they have.
The best way to stop this, is to open channels of communications.
Keep talking to your friends and family no matter what the triangulator is saying.
This way you're all on the same page, no matter what the manipulator says.
Stand your ground.
This is difficult if you're dealing with a manipulator that steamrolls everything and everyone.
Like the Hulk, manipulators can sometimes use anger and even violence to blast you out of an argument.
You can't ask questions because they yell and yell.
It might be scary but, keep calm, stand your ground and don't be pushed over.
Wait for them to get tired of yelling and then have a proper discussion.
It also works to walk away from the manipulator,
especially if you feel that you're in physical danger.
Healthy skepticism.
If your manipulator always has to make it seem they and their life is perfect, don't buy it.
If they say something wrong call it out.
Don't point out all their flaws, but call out that bull.
Nobody's perfect and knowing our flaws is the only way we can grow
Change your language.
There's always going to be miscommunication in relationships,
but if you're always to blame for getting the message wrong or delivering it wrong,
it could be a sign that you're being manipulated.
Over time this treatment can make you afraid to speak up.
What do you do to prevent this?
Speak in "I feel" sentences, so they can't twist your feelings easily.
For example, "I feel grossed out by all the old dishes in the sink",
not "you gross me out by not cleaning the dishes."
Know what you want.
Flirting is fun, most of us do it and usually like experiencing it.
However, if someone is using flirtation to have everyone admire them with disregard to everyone's feeling,
this is a sign it's being used as a manipulation tactic.
These manipulators use their charm and sexuality to get everything they want.
To block them out, don't fall for their wit and charm.
Know what you want, and know what they're saying or asking for.
Don't get swept away by their flirtatious attitude.
Stand up, emotionally.
Manipulators that are harsh, heavy, and bash people down to get what they want,
are often dealing with insecurities themselves.
With these people, you need to stand up to them and hold your ground.
Know who you are, don't let them drag you down into insecurity.
And finally, sometimes your manipulator just won't stop.
In that case, we recommend you cut them out completely.
If they're too important to you to let go of, or if you feel you might be physically unsafe
talk to someone in a position of authority.
Sometimes you might need some help to deal with manipulators
We hope that by using all the tips we just taught you,
you can get out of that manipulative relationship.
That's all for now from us here at Psych2Go.
Hang tough, and hang in there and don't forget to subscribe for more tips.